To ask for the worst CV's you've ever seen?!

[Isitgiroday]

About to pimp my CV prior to a career change after almost a decade in the same industry - looking for tips and hints of what to avoid!

*Eg: “Immediately available, with experience working as a teaching assistant in a special needs school and a full UK driving license.”

Makes no sense. Do you mean you are available with experience working as a teaching assistant? You don’t mean that. It’s licence, not license.*

Sorry but I don't understand what you're confused about. I am saying that I am immediately available, have experience working in a school and a driving licence. It's a personal summary, designed to get all the relevant information in as concisely as possible, not a novel. I accept licence.

I think the fastest Brownie in Peckham will be my new user name.

[quote cplusername1234]@Gwenhwyfar building rapport is one thing, but tbh I've seen so much of this at big corporates, men hiring other men who are just like them - same hobbies, same social background - which isn't great. I'm sure there were other candidates that were just as qualified as your friend who probably missed out because they're not into hill running or whatever.

But you and I differ on how important hobbies are, and that's fair enough.[/quote]
well, you spend more time with your work colleagues than you spend with your own family (pre-pandemic obviously).

Of course you want to hire people who are the best fit in the team. It will be more efficient and a better environment for everyone.

"well, you spend more time with your work colleagues than you spend with your own family (pre-pandemic obviously).

Of course you want to hire people who are the best fit in the team. It will be more efficient and a better environment for everyone."

The manager was just curious, that's all. It was a conversation opener. They didn't have the same hobby and he wasn't hired just because of that.
Saying it's unfair is like saying you shouldn't wear a nice suit or something.

@Butchyrestingface

Level 2? Disgusting. I am a qualified interpreter and it still boggles my mind that this continues to be the state of provision in this country. People are so ignorant.

I've seen applicants who state quite unashamedly that they don't know sign language but they've "watched a bit of Mr Tumble" with their nephew. I want to meet them and throttle them.

‘...and possessing a full driving licence’
was my first thought on that.

My personal hate is ones that waste space by writing
“CURRICULUM VITAE” across the top. Just put your name.

@Purplecatshopaholic

Seen a few (work in HR). Please no photos - they are the biggest cringe and general joke (seem big in some other counties though, so appear on my desk pretty regularly). Unless asked for - some industries do ask for them. No spelling mistakes, particularly if a skill is your attention to detale.... Not fancy fonts, or coloured text. Personally I don’t like a section on Interests - waste of time. I couldn’t care less what you like doing in your spare time, I just want to know if you can do the job.

Muphry's law loves these threads.

😁

"I believe that the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement". I did a little sick at that.

@riceuten

I don't have a driving licence and I applied for a job that did not include any reference to a driving licence (indeed, I do an identical role elsewhere in the country and they don't have a licence requirement there).

But in the invitation letter, I was asked "to bring your driving licence with you"

I queried this, and I was told the role DEFINITELY required a licence as I "would be visiting schools" (I do this all the time in my present role) and was told this "was definitely in the JD and PS". I sent them my copy - the HR Business Partner then accused me of editing it (why I would do this is anyone's guess). So I sent her the link to the JD & PS on their own website and asked her to point out where it included a requirement for a driving licence.

Her boss responded and

i) accused me of "bullying her staff member "
ii) said that it was totally obvious that this role required a driving licence and it didn't actually need to go on the JD/PS
iii) gave me the mealiest mouth "apology" I have in years, but then qualified it with ii) above.

I feel like I dodged a whole ammunition case of bullets there, but the moral of the tale is "put your driving licence on the CV!"

@riceuten I don’t get this. Either you have a licence and you bring it, or you don’t have one and you politely enquire if it is a pre-requisite. Getting into an argument about whether they should have told you earlier seems a bit pointless, and definitely isn’t going to get you the job.

Have I missed something?

Read the instructions for sending in CV. We bin those that write when we ask for printed, or one sided when we ask for double sided, the ones that send 5 or 6 pages when we ask for concise, the ones written in blue ink when we ask for black. Those who ring up or appear in person when we stipulate apply by e mail. If the applicant can’t follow instructions or read carefully we don’t rate them suitable for the job.

peaceanddove I keep seeing #readytowork on the CVs I get from Indeed.
I thought it was something they put on there rather than the candidate.
I could be wrong though.

Alongside an application form a covering letter telling us which other job she was applying for and the exact location. I suspect this was someone who had been told to apply for every possible job by the job centre.

@Mylittlepony374

Check spelling. Don't tell me you like to cook/read etc I don't care. Be concise, I need enough information to know you are suitable for the position, no more. No comic sans font. Don't tell me your personality is "bubbly". Not sure what the worst I've seen was. Maybe the American that highlighted very tenuous Irish heritage (great great grandfather's mothers uncles sister type thing) as a reason he would fit in our team. Our team is based in Ireland. But none of us are Irish. A little research goes a long way.

In admin type roles they're often looking for 'bubbly' personalities. - I never apply to those.

Is the #readytowork this?
www.hrdive.com/news/indeed-applicants-can-mark-themselves-readytowork/576896/#:~:text=Job%20seekers%20can%20now%20tag,set%20interview%20reminders%20for%20applicants.

The worst job application I've seen (not CV) is this:

Why do you want to work at {workplace}?
To improve my self esteem.

I don't think it was through Indeed, also they'd used other #hashtags dotted throughout the CV.

@JorisBonson

In my recruitment days someone sent us a CV which included 7 pictures of the applicant in different tuxedos.

Love this ;@JorisBonson

@HaveringWavering

Yes, you have.

At no point on the Job description or person specification did it mention a driving licence being a necessity. I've been doing this job or a variation on it for some time, and never had a car or a need for a licence. I am not in the habit of asking potential employers a list of questions of qualifications that they haven't specified anywhere on the JD/PS but think I might need.

Had they actually included the driving licence necessity in this, I wouldn't

a) have spent 4 or 5 hours completing the form
b) have spent 2 hours completing a presentation

The mealy mouthed apology I got from them admitted that yes, they omitted to put the driving licence requirement "due to an administrative oversight". But then said "I should have known" - why ?

I've had form with this, in the past. I went for an interview with another council who wanted an admin assistant who was also a qualified technical drawer. In that case, not only did they not put the latter in the JD/PS, they also failed to tell me prior to the interview, during the interview, only when they asked me at the end to complete a task that only a technical drawer could have done was the requirement made clear. That was half a day's leave and their/my time wasted. I got a grovelling apology at least for that one (and I suspect a head of service got his posterior kicked)

Of course you want to hire people who are the best fit in the team. It will be more efficient and a better environment for everyone.

That may be true in terms of team cohesion, but the evidence (plenty of studies, including www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/diversity-wins-how-inclusion-matters) would suggest that any benefits from having a similar team are dwarfed by the penalty paid for group think and lack of diversity in problem-solving approaches. The more diverse your team of execs, engineers, scientists, designers, the better the organisation performs.

I never put interests on my CV. If I was asked it would be doing competitions on the Internet.(Holiday to Italy and Car racing day and hotel for DH were the best prizes)
A bugbear probably a thread of its own is not getting back to you after an Interview. (Looking at you NHS/Finance orgs/Government depts)

A bugbear probably a thread of its own is not getting back to you after an Interview.

Absolutely this. I went to an interview with a Thames-based water company and spent nearly two hours in there. I haven’t heard back from them yet - as it’s been nearly 4 years since the interview, I’ve sadly concluded that I must have been unsuccessful

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

A bugbear probably a thread of its own is not getting back to you after an Interview.

Absolutely this. I went to an interview with a Thames-based water company and spent nearly two hours in there. I haven’t heard back from them yet - as it’s been nearly 4 years since the interview, I’ve sadly concluded that I must have been unsuccessful

I've had someone getting back to me months after and being surprised I said no...

Check the norms for the industry

Definitely

two pages is fine for most but in management consulting the second page will be going straight in the bin!

Depends on the level and nature of the specific role. However its definitely the case that less is more and tailor clearly to the role and company.

No pictures, no hobbies, no long screeds including minute details of the menial role in your first graduate job 15 yrs ago. Not interested in your GCSE in random obscure languages - just your highest degree and that only as a mention.

My recruiters have learned to filter most of these out before they get to me but I did smile at one which slipped through where a man has put as his interest "spending time with my lovely bride"...

@PattyPan

Check the norms for the industry - two pages is fine for most but in management consulting the second page will be going straight in the bin!

I’ve never had a profile/personal statement section on my CV, just bullet points setting out my experience and skills/education. No one has ever asked about my interests! The most important things are using buzzwords to get through automatic screening and really explicitly linking your skills to the criteria on the job advert. E.g. if the ad says that you need to be analytical, put that you analysed xyz at your previous job. In the cover letter you can set this out in more detail and say why you want to work at that specific company.

I have a dozen CVs for a senior management consultancy position to review. Never seen so much waffle. There are three that are varying formats of dense text and I have no idea what any of these candidates have done themselves. Two speak only of team achievements and the third is technically written in English but is so completely devoid of meaning that three of us have read it and none of us can figure out what they've done.

Have to admire one of the others though. It was only on the second reading it became clear it was a very well written account of a career in used car sales.