To ask for the worst CV's you've ever seen?!

[Isitgiroday]

About to pimp my CV prior to a career change after almost a decade in the same industry - looking for tips and hints of what to avoid!

Don't put hobbies in. Don't say you enjoy socializing or are bubbly.
These are read as workshy/partying/alcoholic.
You can cut irrelevant qualifications. Just 7 GCSEs at a-c for example as a maximum. No need to list them all.
Fill any gaps (did you do volunteer work etc)
Try not to use I too much, vary your sentence starters.

I scan straight to the hobbies bit- it gives me an insight into the person. Relevant experience comes a close second.
I once knew of someone who threw all handwritten cover letters in the bin if they were in blue ink.

@listsandbudgets

Years ago we were advertising for a junior administor / data input clerk and received a CV that actually said "All my life I've dreamed of doing data input."

Still makes me smile

I just read that and immediately thought of the bit in Tangled where the criminal in the bar says ‘you’re dream stinks’.

I do think you need to not over egg the pudding. If it’s a bland and pretty ordinary or mucky unpleasant job then gushing on about how you’ve always dreamed about doing it and will tolerate any kind of abuse makes you look insincere.

I used to get many nursing applicants who would say things like they love cleaning up sick and totally disagree with striking and nurses should work under all conditions just for the pure love and not want to get paid...

We had some real religious zealots too who would say things like they ‘don’t agree with helping AIDs patients as it was god’s punishment that they should endure’. Seriously WTF!?

@plixy

I once had someone who had written why she had left her previous jobs, including didn't like travelling, didn't like the hours and my favourite - doesn't like having targets to meet!

That reminded me of one of my favourite interviews - an interviewee at an organisation where we did very strict criteria based interviewing, so no more than 5 or 6 questions.

After the initial "hi, how was the journey" to settle her in, not part of the interview. she started screaming "No, no more questions, you are asking too many questions" at my boss and I. And really screaming - people were surreptitiously trying to peer into the office to see if we were murdering someone.

She didn't get the job. If you get an interview, don't do that.

Listing membership of a church or religious organisation in "interests" is ok, but please don't write anything actually religious.

When I worked in the Middle East we used to get a lot of job applications from India.

Best ever was the one who said, ‘I will moil and toil and burn the midnight oil.’

A colleague said we should give him a job as the station poet.

@Greenknees

Explain any gaps! We once had an application from a man who had an unexplained 15 year career gap- the same length as a life sentence 🤔

Let's stop stigmatising former offenders with stupid passive aggressive emoticons, shall we.

Perpetuating such a negative attitude about people who've made bad, mistakes and done their time, means that those people will never be able to rebuild their life and be reintegrated into society.

Each case is different, each persons crime is different, however this attitude has no place in a forward-thinking society.

What's the view on including your driving licence as a detail? Dh recently applied for job that required him to do site visits but didn't want to put his clean driving licence on his cv as he felt it seemed too "basic" as if he was including Grade 3 clarinet aged 12 or something. I disagreed as I thought it was relevant and an employer expecting him to visit other places would presumably expect him to drive there.

@Gwenhwyfar

"The example you've given is a hobby relevant to the job, which is different to waffling on about something irrelevant to the role."

It wasn't initially though. The job itself had nothing to do with blogging.
Another friend does hill running and had a long conversation with his future manager about it.

Fair enough, but I just don't think hobbies need to be on a CV. Relevant hobbies have come up at interview stage in some cases for me.

And I actually think it's very unfair that you friend had a long convo about a mutual hobby that got him the job, unless its in some way relevant to the work they were doing.

^typo: your friend

@SnugglySnerd

What's the view on including your driving licence as a detail? Dh recently applied for job that required him to do site visits but didn't want to put his clean driving licence on his cv as he felt it seemed too "basic" as if he was including Grade 3 clarinet aged 12 or something. I disagreed as I thought it was relevant and an employer expecting him to visit other places would presumably expect him to drive there.

Maybe this candidate was from another country? It's standard in Spain to add your driving license to your CV (especially if self employed or a job that might require driving).

*sorry just read your post again - it was your DH not some other candidate

daisycgain01: "Let's stop stigmatising former offenders with stupid passive aggressive emoticons, shall we."

Yeah let's be missing for 15 years on the CV.

If you're a murderer, I'd like to know that before hiring you. It might not rule you out.

@Greenknees

Explain any gaps! We once had an application from a man who had an unexplained 15 year career gap- the same length as a life sentence 🤔

lol

@SnugglySnerd

What's the view on including your driving licence as a detail? Dh recently applied for job that required him to do site visits but didn't want to put his clean driving licence on his cv as he felt it seemed too "basic" as if he was including Grade 3 clarinet aged 12 or something. I disagreed as I thought it was relevant and an employer expecting him to visit other places would presumably expect him to drive there.

Always tell them about your clean driving licence, for a job that includes driving!

Is he daft?

@SnugglySnerd i have my DL noted on my CV, it only takes up one line (or half a line in my case because of the layout) so what is the harm

I work in recruitment. Edit your CV for every application and put the bits that make you right for the job in the summary at the top. We look at hundreds of CVs per week and don't have time to read the whole thing to find the bits that are important - e.g if you're applying for a HR role that requires a degree, put in the summary at the top "Business graduate with two years' administration experience, currently completing the Level 3 CIPD", then they'll know to spend the time reading the rest. Don't fill it with unquantifiable nonsense like "a hardworking, business-oriented professional with excellent teamwork ability".

Has been mentioned before, but is so true: don’t mention all the exciting things you learned on maternity leave unless they are truly exceptional and career relevant (i.e. you are an early years professional).
Worst examples in that are I’ve read (from several cvs, not just one)

• acquired professional moderator skills (attending baby group)
• people management (husband and child)
• extensive experience with managing substantial budgets (budget of a church mother and baby group)

The only really one worth mentioning I saw was a lady who managed to learn how to keep her husband’s company afloat while she was on maternity leave with a newborn and older kids, and he had to spend significant amounts of time in hospital. That was exceptional and worth mentioning.

handed me a CV in Sanskrit

I'd've been REALLY intrigued with that one, because it's not been spoken for thousands of years. Hindi would probably have been more likely

I have a question, many people say only include relevant work experience but also advise not leaving gaps on a cv. If you do a job for a year that isn't really relevant to your career, how do you explain this on your CV as it will look like a year gap?

I don't have a driving licence and I applied for a job that did not include any reference to a driving licence (indeed, I do an identical role elsewhere in the country and they don't have a licence requirement there).

But in the invitation letter, I was asked "to bring your driving licence with you"

I queried this, and I was told the role DEFINITELY required a licence as I "would be visiting schools" (I do this all the time in my present role) and was told this "was definitely in the JD and PS". I sent them my copy - the HR Business Partner then accused me of editing it (why I would do this is anyone's guess). So I sent her the link to the JD & PS on their own website and asked her to point out where it included a requirement for a driving licence.

Her boss responded and

i) accused me of "bullying her staff member "
ii) said that it was totally obvious that this role required a driving licence and it didn't actually need to go on the JD/PS
iii) gave me the mealiest mouth "apology" I have in years, but then qualified it with ii) above.

I feel like I dodged a whole ammunition case of bullets there, but the moral of the tale is "put your driving licence on the CV!"

Men are always putting importance of being a good father, husband and windsurfer (insert any expensive and kooky hobby) on their bios and I doubt people think that means they're unambitious!

Never once have I seen that on a CV!
thank god

@Ellabella2374

I have a question, many people say only include relevant work experience but also advise not leaving gaps on a cv. If you do a job for a year that isn't really relevant to your career, how do you explain this on your CV as it will look like a year gap?

1999-2000: restaurant work.

Only if it was restaurant work!

@unmarkedbythat

She didnt look at it closely and handed it in. It listed her accomplishments as: "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"

And who wouldn’t call her to an interview?

We had one once for a TA role in my school and the person in question wrote her first name name in lower case letters but did remember the capital letter for her surname. She also went on to explain how much she wanted this job at 'your school' as she loved working with little kids and how she liked X, Y and Z about 'your school' when she visited last week. Except she had never visited or been shown around the school and the things she mentioned definitely were not at our school.