Tight stingy people

[kale99]

Do people who are tight know they are tight ? My friend "Sarah" is the stingiest person Iv ever met the other day we were watching a programme about cheapskates and she said let's watch "Ashley on the big screen "and laughed just wondering if you were tight do you know you are and would you be offended if I told you that I think your tight ?

OP your post was perfectly understandable

Indeed it was not.

So, they're both tight.
One realises it.
The other doesn't and makes fun of the one who does.
You aren't tight.
You pay for them too often.
You don't like it.
You also don't like Sarah's hypocrisy.
None of you are on TV.
But the two of them could be.
You don't like either of them.
But spend a lot of time with one of them.
Punctuation obviously committed some grievous sin against you.
And someone on this thread takes a taxi to the supermarket.

I think I have the gist of it.

I don't think you're really up to starting your own MN thread, OP....it hasn't worked terribly well.

I've got a migraine aura so am feeling a little wooly headed. This thread hasn't helped. Time for a lie down me thinks.

Im careful with money as i have to be...lone parent...been on 80% furlough nearly a year etc etc....however i always pay my way...if i couldn't afford to go out with friends id say so rather than trying to get out of paying for a round...or contributing to taxi etc.

I think tight people know they are stingy, but they have the hide of a rhino. Their need to save money is greater than how bothered they are about sticking to social rules or how other people perceive them.

@WorraLiberty

MaskingForIt that dig was bang out of order

So you only value the opinions of people who are good at English?

In fairness they have a point this time. It took reading til the end for op to then actually explain herself properly for me to get what the hell the first post was about. It made no sense at all. It does now that I get it, but the wording was atrocious.

Why don't you point out to Sarah that she is also tight? Maybe I'm just a bit more forward, but if someone I know is being two faced, I'll just tell them that.

You're the one letting her walk all over you, buying her things. Stop doing it. Let her starve, let her sit there with no drink. She is tight, her problem, not yours.

We had a friend who was tight, very cheap and loads of CF stories about her cheapness. Was not needed, they actually live in a multimillion pound house in Surrey. Ooh the stories.

It all blew up though when she asked another friend’s DD to babysit her DS. As there had been previous issues with CF friend not paying agreed babysitting fee, our friend made sure the fee was agreed in advance and warned CF friend not to try to short change her DD

Well, when DD arrived to babysit, she found 10 x 5 year olds. CF friend had organised mum’s night out for her DC class and told everyone to bring their DC to her home as she’d booked a sitter (a college student). AND she was charging each mum more per hour than she was paying the sitter.

All came out as the sitter could not cope with 10 x five year old children and called her mum.

Ex friend used to admit she was cheap but couldn’t understand the issue with this particular event as she said she was providing the sitter, the babysitting was taking part in her home which cost electricity and heat.

@MaskingForIt

People can only walk all over you if you let them.

True. It took me years to learn how to protect my boundaries. It doesn't come easy to all people though. If you've got a willing/generous nature some people will take advantage of you mercilessly. It hurts initially and then you just learn to spot the takers, and move consciously away (distance yourself.)

@CakeRequired, nope as almost impossible to follow as this thread is, to say......... I’d also struggle to be judged by someone who was barely functionally literate, so probably wouldn’t really care what you thought about my finances

Absolutely was bang out of order and sneery.

Ex friend used to admit she was cheap but couldn’t understand the issue with this particular event as she said she was providing the sitter, the babysitting was taking part in her home which cost electricity and heat.

She couldn't see the issue with asking her friend's DD to babysit 10 children for the price of one?

Or rather not asking, but just landing her with them.

I have a friend who is sooooo right, it’s painful. And she has found someone equally tight to marry. I love her to bits for many reasons so I let it slide and focus on her other good qualities. Some mutual friends have pretty much ditched her over it though. Best one was a few years ago, I drove her and her then boyfriend with my husband and I to a friend’s wedding an hour away. Arrived and standing together in a group of four. Her boyfriend announces he’s off to the bar and asks her what he wants, totally ignoring me and DH (aka their chauffeurs) and off they trot together to get a drink, leaving DH and I agog at their rudeness. I was feeling unwell which was why I’d driven and I certainly wasn’t hanging about to drive them home late at night after that, especially as their house was actually quite a bit out of our way. So I told her they would have to get the guest bus back into the city and get their taxi home from there and left at 10pm.

I knew that night she had met her soulmate!

However, she is just like the OP’s friend in that she always moans about how tight her parents are...pot...kettle...

I'm very confused. OP, please use punctuation.

It's a bit of an odd thing to post about. Cheapskate is not the same as tight and stingy.. I would call myself a cheapskate, as I am quite frugal,and never spend money on things I don't need, and always look for bargains etc.

But being tight and stingy when it involves other people that you are with is not nice, so best not bother with them, otherwise it becomes a habit with them.

So just to clarify

You work with Sarah and she was in your house the other day watching Ashley on the big screen which is allowed because Sarah is in your bubble. You go out regularly with her despite her leaping out of taxis and stealing sauce which is very good of you as she isn’t a friend, she’s a friend of a friend.
She also wasn’t in your house recently and on second thoughts she is your friend and big screen Ashley isn’t.

Ashley isn’t actually on a big screen but is a bit tight (but not as tight as Sarah, although Sarah thinks she’s tighter and you are now getting annoyed with her increasing tightness.)

Have I got that right 🤯🤯

I think there’s tight OP and then NOT PAYING YOUR way!!

I think people do usually know they are tight yes.

I think you're a mug for being Sarah's friend 😂. What are you getting from this friendship?!

I've read the whole lot and still don't understand who Ashley is and what she's for or why she was on TV.

Do you mean Ashley actually is Sarah and she was making a joke about watching herself on the big screen but you forgot to use the fake name?

I also don't understand why you such close friends with Sarah when she clearly takes the puss out of you and you don't seem to like her either. Just stop going out with her and don't invite her to your home and when she asked to take your partners food you say "no, it's Fred's"

I'm a soft touch and a push over but even I wouldn't keep a friendship like this with someone I don't like.

Do you have to be given a password to understand this thread?
I am really confused

I really don’t think it’s that hard to understand and a PP set it out really clearly near the start which was confirmed by the OP. Some people really like to pick holes in people’s posts for the sake of it. It’s sneery and not nice, there are plenty of polite ways to ask for clarification and it’s not that hard to see it’s already been provided!

Really wasn't being sneery

@WhateverJudy how is it not hard to understand? I’m genuinely baffled. Is Sarah a friend or isn’t she? Has she been in her house or not? Is she in her bubble or not?

@tobedtoMNandfart

Sarah is tight. Other friend Ashley is also tight. Sarah makes 'joke' that tight Ashley should be on cheapskate TV programme. OP is aghast that Sarah recognises that Ashley is tight and is asking does Sarah realise that Sarah is tight. HTH.

However OP inadvertently called Ashley Sarah in one of her posts. Thereby rendering a confusing thread illegible.

@kale99 agree it does make things awkward. Also agree with others that if you're not happy with the way it's impacting on you then you need to find ways to manage it, although it can be hard and like a pp it's taken me years to be able to do so.

But I do do it. Eg with CF friend we arranged to meet for drinks. On my way there she texted me that on noes she's forgotten her bank card. So instead of getting into some kind of subbing conversation I just texted back 'oh what a shame, just come round to mine instead. I don't have any booze but we can have tea and a chat'. What do you know, two minutes later she'd found her card and all was well. You just have to nip it in the bud.

With tight friend (she's too tight to run a car or pay for deliveries, hence the five mile odyssey from the supermarket for the pp who queried) I mostly let her be and just nod. I know if she brings anything round to mine she'll walk off with it again at the end of the evening, whether it's a half eaten packet of crisps or a gobful of wine at the bottom of the bottle, and I resolutely ignore tales of woe about all the things she makes out she has to do to save money (eg walking five miles with shopping), because I know she doesn't have to do them and on some level she knows I know this, so challenging her about it is a pointless waste of everyone's time.