Tight stingy people

[kale99]

Do people who are tight know they are tight ? My friend "Sarah" is the stingiest person Iv ever met the other day we were watching a programme about cheapskates and she said let's watch "Ashley on the big screen "and laughed just wondering if you were tight do you know you are and would you be offended if I told you that I think your tight ?

I think they do know - but they see it differently. I have a friend who is very tight - but she just sees it as being very careful (she even does the "forgetting my purse" thing). Tbh I got a bit fed up as she would split things to pence if we went out for lunch. I could see she would work out the bill in advance, and if she would "make" money as hers had cost more we'd split it, if she'd lose as mine was more she'd only pay her own. She is by no means poor as we are both 6 figs.

Well collect the money before you get in the taxi.
She doesn't have the money,she doesn't get in the taxi.
Same with snacks/ drinks if she doesn't pay she doesn't get.

[quote kale99]@sqirrelfriends Sarah wasn't in my house her name was only mentioned ! This happened a while back but because Ashley is doing more stingey things it's starting to annoy me that's why i have used that as an example [/quote]
Your opening post...

"Do people who are tight know they are tight ? My friend "Sarah" is the stingiest person Iv ever met the other day we were watching a programme about cheapskates and she said let's watch "Ashley on the big screen "and laughed just wondering if you were tight do you know you are and would you be offended if I told you that I think your tight ?"

Are we complaining about stingey people or hypocrites?

I like moaning. But other people's moans usually aren't very interesting. So, to avoid being a hypocrite, I have to either a) stop moaning or b) stop moaning about people who moan. My DD moans quite a lot but tbf she probably gets it from me. I'm going to opt for b). Surely it's easier to not moan about 1 thing rather than try to not moan about everything? I don't think I could completely give up moaning about things. It brings me too much joy.

Your friend is a CF.

If she was really just that stingy then she’d not buy snacks, or take taxis, drink at bars (she’d be nursing s tap water!). As it is, she does these things and gets out of paying. CF.

@WorraLiberty so sorry bcz am using fake names not there actual names am getting mixed up

I thought I found stingy people real annoying until I opened this thread. Now I am so enraged by people who post incoherent nonsense that I feel really benevolent towards cheeky fuckers.

I think your friend (I dare not use a name have only just worked out who Ashley might be and how she is connected to this thread) knows she’s stingy. Was trying to deflect by forcing you to agree a depiction of absent friend (not on tv) Ashley as being stingy.
Classic deflection.
Sounds potentially bullying. Ie I know I have a problem rather than address it or let you say anything I’m going to badmouth Ashley.
Bit like ‘I’m just mad me’ or ‘I’m just being me if anyone doesn’t
like that that’s their problem’
Classic weak passive agressive bullying stuff.

Whew. If I have anything wrong about Ashley apologies.

It doesn't require any literacy skills whatsoever to realise that a bunch of total strangers on an internet forum aren't going to grasp that Sarah and the OP have a mutual friend called 'Ashley' whose behaviour merits being on one of the cheapskate TV shows, and that 'Sarah' was referencing that while watching TV with the OP, while apparently not recognising she's at least as cheap herself.

That aside, what always intrigues me about these threads is how often some posters on here seem to lend and borrow money, from small to quite large sums, between 'friends' (which I am using in the Mn sense of 'someone I know and don't appear to much like').

I'm 48 years old, and have lived on small change from down the back of the sofa at certain points in my life and been financially comfortable at others, but the last time I can remember lending a friend money was when we were still at school.

[quote kale99]@WorraLiberty so sorry bcz am using fake names not there actual names am getting mixed up [/quote]
So Ashley was at your house, not Sarah?

pillow forgive me for inserting (to avoid confusion)
Ashley whose behaviour merits BUT DID NOT LEAD TO her being on a tv show .. etc.

this thread is like reading glue.

There's nothing wrong with being careful with money, maybe Sarah has no debt and owns her home, but she is a complete CF as she never pays her way.

Just don't let her be tight , tell her it's her round or don't bit her food .. it's all very simple !! 🤷‍♀️

Fucking hell my brain is crying

I'm so confused! I may need a diagram 😬

Ugh mean stingy people are the worst, it's such an unattractive character trait.

OP your post was perfectly understandable, don't worry about the nitpickers.

I have a friend who is very tight - but she just sees it as being very careful (she even does the "forgetting my purse" thing).

Stinginess/tightness/frugality/being careful is absolutely fine, if it means you cut your cloth and do without luxuries in order to save money. It's not fun, and others may not want to spend time with you as a result, and I can't understand people who choose to do this to the extreme when they really have no need to; but it's their life and their choice.

Theft and compulsive lying - technically verging on fraud - are an entirely different thing. You cannot decide to have something that will cost you money but then still not pay for it.

So op has two friends, Sarah and Ashley, both who are as tight as each other and one of whom is quite hypocritical of the other tight friends stinginess.
Of course she realises she is also tight herself but in mentioning the other friend she is trying to deflect the attention away from herself, not at all successfully, as all she's really done is make you want to say to her, "ha! You are exactly the same!"

I saw the light when I realised (not sure how I did) that Ashley was not in fact on tv. I think.

@AintPageantMaterial

I thought I found stingy people real annoying until I opened this thread. Now I am so enraged by people who post incoherent nonsense that I feel really benevolent towards cheeky fuckers.

I know right?! I think I’d far rather hang out with Ashley or Sarah!

I used to think I’m a very generous spirit because I honestly wouldn’t mind sharing any money in my wallet with anyone. I wouldn’t mind splashing my entire savings on a charity cause I beleive in (and have).

But when it comes to daily spendings, food, clothes.. I’m in extreme in looking for bargains and I’m just not into consumerism. I grew up with the poor and I just don’t find any pleasure from spending my money in that way, it makes me feel like I could actually be making a difference with it.

I used to be very bad at gifting too, and all those social pleasantries.. but when someone visits me I would offer them the best I have without checking if it’s part of any budget.

When I became a SAHM I started cutting corners in extreme ways because I just didn’t want the added stress on DH.. and at times I made an error of judgement because it’s not a lifestyle I was used to and I was still finding my ways..

But now I know I come across as tight and stingey. And I’m frankly really embarrassed by it..

But I think it’s a misjudgment. Because out of all the people that might judge me as stingey, I might be the first one to offer to pay for everyone’s meal in a restaurant. It’s just that I’m also less likely to reciprocate their expensive gifts with similar value ones.. but it something I now realise is wrong and am working on it.

I just place different values on different things.

The first savings I ever had was 4K worth of money which I sent as a lumpsum to a charity when I saw someone struggling financially.

But I’m super crap with sending my own clothes to charity because I’m quite sentimental.

I guess I just don’t follow similar cultural expectations of generousity per say but I’m also not self centred when it comes to spending which balances out.

My advice is, don’t judge

@Bananalanacake

There's nothing wrong with being careful with money, maybe Sarah has no debt and owns her home, but she is a complete CF as she never pays her way.

But she does have debt

She owes the OP £5

Confused.com

What a weird thread