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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your experiences of getting married young

142 replies

Gettingmarriedyoung55 · 28/01/2021 17:31

Just that really. I won’t go into all the ins and outs as my situation is very specific and wouldn’t really be helpful to recite. But Aibu to ask for your experiences of getting married young (and exactly how old you were) whether you or people you know?

OP posts:
PossiblyPFB · 28/01/2021 21:54

Married at 21, he was 24. Both with university finished. Still vv happily married 20+ years since we met. He’s wonderful and I knew it the moment we met. Smile

fussychica · 28/01/2021 21:58

Met DH at school. Got married at 22 an 21 retrospectively. Still very happily married. Had DS after 14 years of living it up Grin

PunishmentSnart · 28/01/2021 22:02

I think people married young years ago, was pretty normal, so people saying married young and have been married for 30+ years is a bit different to nowadays.

Married at 24 (had 1dc at the time), 2 more dc later and celebrating our 9 year anniversary tonight with a takeaway Grin

hammeringinmyhead · 28/01/2021 22:14

Oh yes, definitely helps if you wait a looong old time before having children. We did so much in the 14 years pre-child.

weegiemum · 28/01/2021 22:19

We were both 24. Had been together since 19/20 though we didn't live together until we got married.

Both turned 50 last year and have been married happily for 26 years.

mayandjuniper · 28/01/2021 22:25

21 and 20- divorced but amicable

Erictheavocado · 28/01/2021 22:31

Met when I was still at school, married five years later when I was just 21. Have now been married almost 40 years.
It is different now, in that more people go to university, so start earning later.
I'm lucky - our marriage is good and we are a good 'fit' - and I'm not sure what part our ages played in that.

fluffythedragonslayer · 28/01/2021 22:32

Married at 24. 21 years later still super happy! Kids are in their teens and we are well on the way to our second youth once they've all moved out 🤣

Bitcherama · 28/01/2021 22:34

Marrying at 17 was not unusual where I went to school, but I didn't know any that lasted past 25.

TheTeenageYears · 28/01/2021 22:37

Mid (ish) 40's married at 22 still together. What would be categorised as young has changed over the years so you could get very different answers - also would often have depended if people went to uni or not. 22 and working for 4 years is quite different to 22 and not long out of uni.

NeonK · 28/01/2021 22:40

Married at 21, divorced 22 years later (and probably 5 years later than we should have). I was too young and got married for the wrong reasons.

I grew and changed hugely in the intervening 20 years. He didn't, he was exactly the same person when we divorced as he was when we married. Which is why I was the wrong person for him.

Newnamefor2021 · 28/01/2021 22:49

I was 23 (he was 25), married 15 years after a short engagement and wedding (not pregnant). Still happy and married.

ChampionOfTheSun · 28/01/2021 22:50

Got together at 19, bought our house at 22, married at 24 and had our baby at 26. We are now 27. We're very happy and it was right for us, I don't think we've rushed anything or missed out on anything, we've travelled, both have hobbies separately etc. We've only got 18 years left on the mortgage and no other debt besides my student loan so I don't regret settling down early. I grew up in debt with an abusive father so I was very keen to create a nice calm environment for my future which is what I've done!

OnlyToWin · 28/01/2021 22:53

Married at 24. Didn’t feel young at the time but when I meet 24 year old now I think - wow - I was so young!! Still married now btw.

Lifeisfullofsurprise · 24/07/2023 23:55

I know this thread is a couple of years old, but it caught my eye... I was thinking earlier, how I spent my uni years not really trying to meet the "one" whilst my friends were. I spent my 20s meeting possible husbands, some at the time I could have married, but it was not meant to be. I do not regret that. I met my husband at 30 and we got married just over a year later, when I turned 32. I feel very blessed and I am happily married with children. But, regularly I am reminded of not marrying earlier, especially when I meet other school kids who are younger than me or women around my age with children nearing the end of their teenage years. I do believe in fate and I have a strong faith, but I cannot help regret the number of years it took me to find my life partner when it seemed so easy for others. I am not sure if anyone else feels this way, but would love to hear your stories. x

Hankunamatata · 25/07/2023 00:00

Married under 23, now 40s and still married. We are very different people personailty wise. Would I have chosen him if I had more experience possibly not but we work at it, he makes me laugh, I know all his bad habits and wouldn't really be without him.
Iv learned love and marriage is more than attraction and sex. Its respecting each other, being kind to each other and put each other first.

BMrs · 25/07/2023 08:46

Married when we were both 26 (so not too young), we waited five years to have children and have been married almost 12 years. Very happily married 🥰

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