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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you expect people to come to your house during a pandemic, you should at least wear a mask in front of them

50 replies

hibbledibble · 28/01/2021 14:55

I saw a post on a forum about home birth, where the OP was refusing to allow her husband to wear a mask during her home birth, because she didn't want him to.

This is apparently her choice, and should be respected.

I'm all for personal choice, where it doesn't adversely effect others.

In this case it is putting the health of the midwife at risk unnecessarily, who will spend a prolonged time in close contact with someone who refuses to wear a mask.

Aibu to think that if you expect people to come into your home now, then you should have the decency to wear a mask if near them?

OP posts:
MrsFogi · 28/01/2021 14:57

YANBU we have worn masks recently when we had people delivering a fridge and a chap fixing the diswaher. It seemed only courteous given that they were wearing masks.

canigooutyet · 28/01/2021 14:59

Honestly, he needs to grow a spine and have his freedom to make his own choices. Who does she think she is imposing her views on him never mind any visitors?

Doobigetta · 28/01/2021 15:02

I’m not going to wear a mask in my own home, not now, not ever. It absolutely works two ways and anyone who comes in to do a job for me is told they don’t need to wear one for my benefit. If they don’t want to come in as a result, I’ll find someone else to do the job, but that has never happened yet- almost all of them have given a massive sigh of relief and ripped the bloody thing off.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 28/01/2021 15:04

@Doobigetta

I’m not going to wear a mask in my own home, not now, not ever. It absolutely works two ways and anyone who comes in to do a job for me is told they don’t need to wear one for my benefit. If they don’t want to come in as a result, I’ll find someone else to do the job, but that has never happened yet- almost all of them have given a massive sigh of relief and ripped the bloody thing off.
Are you a conspiracy theorist? Otherwise, I'm struggling to understand why you would be so selfish.
OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 28/01/2021 15:06

I guess if she was in labour maybe she actually needed to see a friendly smily face to hold it together. Labour isn't the most rational time after all...

Other times, absolutely but labour is weird emotionally and everyone reacts differently!

luxxlisbon · 28/01/2021 15:06

It isn't her choice as to whether or not another adult wears a mask or not. If the partner felt more comfortable in one then he should have wore.

Fridget · 28/01/2021 15:08

@Doobigetta

I’m not going to wear a mask in my own home, not now, not ever. It absolutely works two ways and anyone who comes in to do a job for me is told they don’t need to wear one for my benefit. If they don’t want to come in as a result, I’ll find someone else to do the job, but that has never happened yet- almost all of them have given a massive sigh of relief and ripped the bloody thing off.
The problem with that is that presumably the midwife doesn’t have the choice to refuse to go.
oblada · 28/01/2021 15:09

I would have hated for my husband to be wearing a mask when supporting me during labour! It's hard enough being in labour I want to see his face when he is around me to support me
DH doesn't have to spend one to one intimate time with the midwife though and can wear a mask if talking the midwife/making a cup of tea outside the room the mum to be is in. The midwife will be in intimate contact with the mum to be and surely you don't expect her to wear a mask??

Oooohbehave · 28/01/2021 15:13

YANBU. I have to enter homes for my job and although I wear a mask not many of my customers do. It does irk me, I'm wearing a mask to protect them but they're not willing to protect me.

TeeniefaeTroon · 28/01/2021 15:15

I'm an estate agent and this bugs me when I go into houses. I wear a mask to protect my client, they should have the decency to wear a mask to protect me.
Everyone who views houses with me wear a mask, it's just the sellers who think they have the right not o in their own homes.

AStudyinPink · 28/01/2021 15:16

Erm.. it’s a tricky one. The midwife can wear a mask, presumably? I don’t think people should have to wear masks in their own homes either.

Oooohbehave · 28/01/2021 15:18

@oblada

I would have hated for my husband to be wearing a mask when supporting me during labour! It's hard enough being in labour I want to see his face when he is around me to support me DH doesn't have to spend one to one intimate time with the midwife though and can wear a mask if talking the midwife/making a cup of tea outside the room the mum to be is in. The midwife will be in intimate contact with the mum to be and surely you don't expect her to wear a mask??
I couldn't have given a shit if my husband was wearing a gorilla suit during my labour! The only person I was focused on was the midwife.Grin
yawnsvillex · 28/01/2021 15:19

Bore off OP .....

Are you also up for people to stop breathing soon? Hmm

CharlotteRose90 · 28/01/2021 15:20

Selfish people is what it is. I’ve had people in my home including builders and emergency workers. They have all worn masks and so have I. It’s called respect. I wouldn’t go into someone else’s house for a job unless they were wearing one

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 28/01/2021 15:22

@Doobigetta

I’m not going to wear a mask in my own home, not now, not ever. It absolutely works two ways and anyone who comes in to do a job for me is told they don’t need to wear one for my benefit. If they don’t want to come in as a result, I’ll find someone else to do the job, but that has never happened yet- almost all of them have given a massive sigh of relief and ripped the bloody thing off.
You can't argue with stupid
oblada · 28/01/2021 15:22

Good for you ooohbehave but I was only focusing on myself and my husband during my labours (4, at home as well). I was actually trying to ignore the midwives as much as possible :)

TheVeryHungryTortoise · 28/01/2021 15:23

I agree with you OP. When I get my weekly food delivery (which obviously they drop at the doorstep rather than coming in) I wear a mask. It's about being polite. These workers are taking risks each shift to deliver my food, why wouldn't I show them that I respect and care about their health?

luxxlisbon · 28/01/2021 15:24

@yawnsvillex

Bore off OP .....

Are you also up for people to stop breathing soon? Hmm

Can we stop this rubbish? Masks do not stop someone from breathing.
WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 28/01/2021 15:24

@yawnsvillex

Bore off OP .....

Are you also up for people to stop breathing soon? Hmm

Only the ones who are selfish twats
emilyfrost · 28/01/2021 15:25

Generally, yes, I would agree with you, but I think labour is the exception here.

If she were giving birth in a hospital the DH would not have to wear a mask so I don’t see why it should be any different in her own home.

ProtectMaternity · 28/01/2021 15:26

Ironically these will be exactly the same people spamming trust pages with furious comments when homebirth services have to be suspended because too many of the experienced homebirth midwives are self isolating or have COVID. Yes, this has happened and is close to happening in many areas where staff levels are severely impacted.

Midwives going into homes during COVID have been exposed to shocking things - loads of people in the house, no masks, no distancing, sometimes symptomatic people with no warning.

The entitlement is quite shocking really. I’ve seen comments like “they can’t tell you who to have in your own house”, no concern at all for the staff risking their health to support them in their birth choices.

Cuntitinthebin · 28/01/2021 15:26

Just wear a fucking mask.

It's not difficult.

I'm sick of people refusing, even if in their own home.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 28/01/2021 15:27

@TheVeryHungryTortoise

I agree with you OP. When I get my weekly food delivery (which obviously they drop at the doorstep rather than coming in) I wear a mask. It's about being polite. These workers are taking risks each shift to deliver my food, why wouldn't I show them that I respect and care about their health?
Yep, me too. Some of them wear masks, most do not, but I still do - they're helping me out, I'll do all I can to minimise their risk and that's for people staying outside!

I haven't had anyone in the house, but if I did, I'd absolutely wear a mask.

ProtectMaternity · 28/01/2021 15:27

If she were giving birth in a hospital the DH would not have to wear a mask so I don’t see why it should be any different in her own home.

This is incorrect. In most maternity units now partners must wear masks unless exempt if any staff are in the room. In some units, women must also wear masks in the antenatal and postnatal wards.

People don’t seem to have any idea how badly maternity staff are affected this time round.

Somanysocks · 28/01/2021 15:29

Surely everyone knows the virus becomes ineffective as soon as you walk in your own front door. It's them pesky strangers coming in that'll kill yer.