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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think if you expect people to come to your house during a pandemic, you should at least wear a mask in front of them

50 replies

hibbledibble · 28/01/2021 14:55

I saw a post on a forum about home birth, where the OP was refusing to allow her husband to wear a mask during her home birth, because she didn't want him to.

This is apparently her choice, and should be respected.

I'm all for personal choice, where it doesn't adversely effect others.

In this case it is putting the health of the midwife at risk unnecessarily, who will spend a prolonged time in close contact with someone who refuses to wear a mask.

Aibu to think that if you expect people to come into your home now, then you should have the decency to wear a mask if near them?

OP posts:

ShirleyPhallus · 28/01/2021 15:30

Are masks still as effective when work in very close proximity to someone else for hours at a time?

emilyfrost · 28/01/2021 15:30

This is incorrect. In most maternity units now partners must wear masks unless exempt if any staff are in the room. In some units, women must also wear masks in the antenatal and postnatal wards.

ProtectMaternity I’ve given birth within the last month. Neither DH or I had to wear masks at any point after stepping into the maternity unit.

RuggerHug · 28/01/2021 15:37

Doobigetta I'll be generous here and assume that you wouldn't normally want to be responsible for a decent person losing their job, especially these days. So rather than put someone in the position of having to either risk their safety or their job (by either taking off a mask or having you ask them to leave and complaining to their boss) why not be a real grown up and do everything yourself? Don't call for anyone to enter your home until this is all done.You get to be mask free AND not a total dick.

Oooohbehave · 28/01/2021 15:39

@oblada

Good for you ooohbehave but I was only focusing on myself and my husband during my labours (4, at home as well). I was actually trying to ignore the midwives as much as possible :)

I wasn't having a go, sorry if that's how it came across.

NotFabulousDarling · 28/01/2021 15:45

No this is silly. The indoor space where the birth is happening is already full of aerosolized particles from the people who live there. Making one extra person wear a mask in their own home isn't going to change that. That's not selfish, or a conspiracy theory, it's just very basic science.

ilovesooty · 28/01/2021 15:52

@yawnsvillex

Bore off OP .....

Are you also up for people to stop breathing soon?

That seems like a playground level response. Surely it's possible to disagree with the post without resorting to that?

I agree with the OP in principle that if someone is coming to your home to provide a service it's considerate to wear a mask as your home is their workplace and everyone has a right to feel safe at work.

Meredithgrey1 · 28/01/2021 15:54

I think he should wear one, but I do wonder if it actually makes a difference. Presumably the woman in labour is not wearing one (I couldn’t have worn one because I had gas and air), so the midwife is spending quite a bit of time in an enclosed area with one person not wearing a mask - does it make a huge difference if the other person there (who presumably lives there with the labouring mum) is wearing one?
Maybe it does make a difference though, I don’t know, and I would never tell my husband not to wear one if I were about to give birth.

ProtectMaternity · 28/01/2021 16:04

ProtectMaternity I’ve given birth within the last month. Neither DH or I had to wear masks at any point after stepping into the maternity unit

Which is why I said most. Some have changed literally in the last week or two due to the number of staff being infected / exposed. The units where I am have had partners wearing mask for the entire time since the pandemic started. Medway caused a storm a few days ago with their statement that women must also wear masks except when in active labour.

ProtectMaternity · 28/01/2021 16:06

does it make a huge difference if the other person there (who presumably lives there with the labouring mum) is wearing one?

People keep saying this but transmission within a household is not 100% so one partner having it doesn’t mean the other does, especially if they are in the phase before symptoms.

Women need to be able to access gas and air etc, and breathe deeply. It’s not reasonable to expect them to wear masks during labour so they are not asked to. The same is not true for partners.

minipie · 28/01/2021 16:07

@Doobigetta

I’m not going to wear a mask in my own home, not now, not ever. It absolutely works two ways and anyone who comes in to do a job for me is told they don’t need to wear one for my benefit. If they don’t want to come in as a result, I’ll find someone else to do the job, but that has never happened yet- almost all of them have given a massive sigh of relief and ripped the bloody thing off.

I also take this approach wrt tradesmen, cleaners etc

however whenever I’ve had someone in the house to do some work, I have gone to a different room, so we are not sharing the same air. The same does not apply to the husband in the OP’s scenario.

Dyrne · 28/01/2021 16:09

I don’t understand the “I can do what I like in my own home” rhetoric - they’ve had rules in place for years about smoking in the home and exposing carers etc to that. Surely this sort of request/“rule” is exactly the same?

BlueTimes · 28/01/2021 16:10

Surely the midwife will be wearing PPE which is (theoretically!) in a whole different league to the types of masks the average person wears in their house as it protects both ways.

Rupertbeartrousers · 28/01/2021 16:12

@BlueTimes

Surely the midwife will be wearing PPE which is (theoretically!) in a whole different league to the types of masks the average person wears in their house as it protects both ways.

Nope, usually just a surgical mask, fp3 masks only in corona wards now

emilyfrost · 28/01/2021 16:15

Which is why I said most.

ProtectMaternity Which is why what I said isn’t incorrect.

Northernsoullover · 28/01/2021 16:19

I wear a mask if anyone comes in. Its basic courtesy.

slashlover · 28/01/2021 16:46

@Doobigetta

If someone refused to come in then would you still pay the call out fee?

I've not had anyone in my house, the council were supposed to send someone round before this lockdown but it's not essential so was cancelled. The instructions said to wear a mask, stay in one room and have all of the doors open. I would have done it no problem, apart from attempting to keep the cat away from them.

I wear one when I get a supermarket delivery, especially as I'm in a flat and my front door opens onto a communal entry.

Original poster

hibbledibble · 28/01/2021 16:48

No, the midwife will just be wearing a surgical mask, and maybe goggles. FFP3 masks are limited, and are only used for aerosol generating procedures, which is not part of a home birth. Which is why the partner wearing a mask makes a difference

In most hospitals birth partners are asked to wear masks.

OP posts:

VainAbigail · 28/01/2021 17:24

Well, I’m a carer and not one single client that I visit wears a face covering so I’m not really sure if YABU or not....

ProtectMaternity · 28/01/2021 17:39

@emilyfrost

Which is why I said most.

ProtectMaternity Which is why what I said isn’t incorrect.

But it is incorrect. You stated that this person’s partner would not need to wear a mask in hospital. That may be the case for some units but not for the majority, so categorically stating it wouldn’t be required in a hospital is incorrect.

yesbueno · 28/01/2021 17:58

@ProtectMaternity it is now the case for most hospitals in the last week or 2. The fact that your husband didn’t have to wear one in the past isn’t really relevant. Interesting username. Protect maternity but, er, fuck the midwives?

ProtectMaternity · 28/01/2021 18:11

[quote yesbueno]@ProtectMaternity it is now the case for most hospitals in the last week or 2. The fact that your husband didn’t have to wear one in the past isn’t really relevant. Interesting username. Protect maternity but, er, fuck the midwives?[/quote]
I was quoting someone else’s post and pointing out they are incorrect and that most units do require masks. Perhaps read it again?

1FootInTheRave · 28/01/2021 18:23

Masks are worn by partners at my trust.

I would expect this at home too.

Selfish selfish twats.

We don't have special ppe for homebirths btw. A surgical mask, goggles, pinny and gloves.

Meredithgrey1 · 28/01/2021 18:42

@ProtectMaternity

does it make a huge difference if the other person there (who presumably lives there with the labouring mum) is wearing one?

People keep saying this but transmission within a household is not 100% so one partner having it doesn’t mean the other does, especially if they are in the phase before symptoms.

Women need to be able to access gas and air etc, and breathe deeply. It’s not reasonable to expect them to wear masks during labour so they are not asked to. The same is not true for partners.

Yes, and I wasn’t saying I don’t think he should wear one, I said I think he should. I was just wondering out loud really.

Original poster

hibbledibble · 28/01/2021 18:56

vain Abigail sorry to hear that as a carer no one wears masks for you. I think they should as well, if able to

OP posts:

sadeyedladyofthelowlands63 · 28/01/2021 19:05

We have carers, district nurses and other nurses come to our house regularly for my partner. They wear PPE and I always wear a mask (my partner can't). I think it's basic courtesy (and it provides me some protection as well).

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