To think if I'd have known about Covid I wouldn't have got pregnant when I did

[Nicknamegoeshere]

My baby was born end of May. Mat leave during lockdown has been awful. I feel trapped and have zero friends with babies. Didn't have the chance to make any. Have two other children 10 and 13 who this is also really very hard on. Partner works ft away from home as a CW.

I love my baby but I regret having her when I did.

AIBU?

Btw ridiculous how my post was both reported and deleted. Especially as the post was AIBU? Yes my answer was yabu and I have more sympathy for FTMs rather than people who are dabhands at this. This one going to be reported and deleted too?

Yanbu my lovey friend had her baby in September and I still haven’t seen him nor have her relatives. She is a very positive person overall and a glass half full one but even she is finding this very hard.

@Fatas Not sure why?
In some ways it is harder on FTM's but in other ways harder on mums with more children. Mine range in age from 7 months to 13 and older two with additional needs so that is a challenge for sure.

Well unreasonable or not, you're not alone.
Im struggling too. One 5 year old who is struggling himself (suspect additional needs) and a 4 month old who is a pram and sling hating, short time napping, bedsharing baby. I feel all the guilt for finding it hard because I had a tfmr in Dec 2018 but it is. So there we go.

I agree with you about ftms too. I have two children with vastly different needs. When it was just one it was only one set of needs to focus on.

@Nicknamegoeshere I think with all the homeschooling on top of everything else that definitely sounds difficult. Hang on in there- it will be over soon. 🤞🏼 I thought vulnerable children could still go into school? Could your 13 year old go in? Is he classed as such being autistic? Can you ask school?

@Treaclepie19 Yay to a fellow bedsharer

@Fatas I am entitled to a place technically. But I don't believe it is safe to send him to school currently. And also not safe for the school staff. He would also be very frightened of going in.

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@Treaclepie19 Yay to a fellow bedsharer [/quote]
😊 Would be so much easier if she would sleep alone but hey!

I’m just thinking ftms because the first time experiencing sleep deprivation and all that comes with a baby is esp hard. The second time, you know what to expect and so perhaps the support is not as necessary.

@Greenbks I'm really sorry for your loss. These posts must be really hard to read. I agree with what you have said.

@Treaclepie19 Know the feeling! Mine always wants me / my boob!

Ahhh okay @Nicknamegoeshere the govt have really whipped up a panic with their scare tactics haven’t they. I looked at the stats yesterday and there’s actually less dying now than in April. But of course if you look at the daily figures they’re skewed because they include anyone with a pos test in the last 28 days, whereas April’s were measured differently

@Fatas I've been sleep deprived with all three. Difference is I was 25 when sleep deprived as a FTM... I'm sleep deprived now and 40!!!

YANBU

I had what we decided was our last baby in the summer i had got pregnant Dec 19 obviously not knowing about the impending pandemic and had great plans for my time with a new baby not to mention the fact it was a decision that took a while and I really wanted things to be perfect

I’ve said to dh now that really I feel like if covid improves I feel like I need to do it again as although I adore my baby it wasn’t how I hoped and dreamed and I’d like to do it again in more normal times

@Fatas that's true.

Sorry for your loss @Greenbks

my first baby is due in 4 weeks - very much planned even though we were in lockdown - i thought of it differently though - figured it was a great time as i missed nothing my whole pregnancy - all my holidays, festivals etc got cancelled - there wasn't even a night in the pub to be had! so I feel like the pregnancy part was great - I had no commute as work at home too - so it's been fairly chill!

Not overly bothered by lack of groups and ante natel classes - It's not really my thing anyway!

My husband will be here at home with me and the baby everyday for the foreseeable - he will be working - but we can have lunch together, goo for walks - have the whole evening together while I'm on mat leave!
I miss my family (they are in Ireland)and my only concern right now is when I can see them and when they can meet the baby - but im remaining hopeful - my mum has said she will come here for a month or so and do everything right (arrive with a negative test & isolate before coming to move in with us for a few weeks - and i might go home myself with the baby for a month or 2 in the summer too!

It's not an ideal situation - but not the worst eiteher

I don't envy you having to do home-schooling though with the older kids thats a nightmare!

Well I’m 42 and never experienced being a young mum. I have no idea how much difference it makes. I just mooch around all day doing not a lot. I’m still in my pyjamas- partly because my c section act is killing me and it hurts to put trousers on. My house is chaotic but it will only be like that for a short time.

@selectivemutism Do it! I would if I that was an option for sure. My last baby here.

@Fatas I'm sorry for your loss also. Going through a TFMR is heartbreaking. I had mine at 22+4 in dec 2018.

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@selectivemutism Do it! I would if I that was an option for sure. My last baby here.[/quote]
This was meant to be my last🤦‍♀️ And I did feel that we were ‘done’ but suddenly it all hit me and things haven’t been normal and i didn’t realise what a big part of it it all was
Even the small things having someone with me for appts
Going shopping for baby bits
Going for coffee
Baby classes

I wanted to do it all! I’m so grateful for her but it’s really not how I imagined and i struggle with that
I’m 39 soon though and who knows when covid will be better but I do feel of it all got better suddenly I’d be very likely to have another ‘last one’ 🤣

@fatas, yes there is nothing on this earth that prepares you for the sleep deprivation

I just like to scare my husband now that we have to have one more baby so I can experience pregnancy and mat leave as it should be

@Heyahun Aw good luck with your baby - I remember my first and it was sooooo exciting!! Hope all goes well.

What I would give for lunch / coffee with another adult!! It sounds silly but I miss that a lot.

@Treaclepie19 Gosh that must have been very difficult, similar happened to my friend and she was placed on a maternity ward.

@Greenbks sorry for your loss too

@selectivemutism I totally get that. At least I had the chance to experience "normal" with my first two I guess. My fiancé never knew anything different apart from what it's like with his first (and last).