To ask why we struggle with money so much.

[whatismyusername29]

Hi all, probably not the right place but guess posting here for traffic.

I am SAHP. I have two dc with additional needs. My partner works and brings home around £500 a week after tax plus he usually does overtime so can be more. He gets paid monthly so usually around £2000 take home maybe a little more with overtime. . Up until last year he was paid weekly so we have struggled with this transition and making it stretch.

We also get child benefit, I get £30 a week for my son from his father. DS also gets DLA (low rate mobility and middle rate care) and I receive Carers allowance for DS as his needs are quite significant. Despite Dd having additional needs too we do not claim for her yet.

We own our own home. Our mortgage is just a little less than £400 a month on our home worth around £200,000 We do run two cars which is quite a big expense. Our bills tend to be quite high - gas/electric/water. We do spend quite a lot on food. We have some debt (maybe around 2 grand).

We don’t have many luxuries. Haven’t had a holiday in several years, neither of us drink alcohol so that isn’t an added cost.

But why are we skint? Our mortgage is low, we aren’t in a huge amount of debt, don’t have luxuries. We do have subscriptions for Netflix, prime etc but who doesn’t?! Both have phone contracts but again who doesn’t?!

DS’s school lunches are costing me a fortune normally. Around £45 a month but he won’t eat a packed lunch. Dd is younger and gets free lunches in infants.

A holiday (covid allowing) would be nice but how?!

Aibu to think we really shouldn’t struggle so much?!

We are overdrawn by the end of the month always.

Advice? Best ways to save money? How to cut down on food costs.

I appreciate we are in a better position then some. Are bills are paid and we have food but there just isn’t a lot left. I cannot remember the last time I bought clothes for myself!

We need new carpet but how?! Unless we put it on credit but want to avoid that.

We want to get married but not sure how we could possibly avoid it?!

We do have some savings but only around 2 grand. It’s saved for a rainy day - cars going wrong, stuff going wrong in the house etc.

We’ve just spend £700 getting out heating system fixed!

I know many people will tell me to get a job. I want to but that easy with my two and the unsociable hours dp works!

It all adds up though. That's the point.

Agree with downloading bank account and other transactions. We do almost all our non direct debit spending on a cashback credit card that's paid off in full every month and I can download and sort transactions to add up how much we spend on fuel, in the supermarket, eating out etc. You do have to fiddle with the categories a little, but it's a good start.

Not that we need it, but using a credit card for day to day spending is a good way to simplify running your bank account as you don't have to keep track of the balance so closely and because there is a delay with the money for food, fuel etc leaving your account, it means you stay out of overdraft, which is to be avoided these days as the interest rate is so high.

On the point of Amazon, how much are you spending with them OP? I buy a lot less from them than I used to do, because they're rarely the cheapest option.

But when I do buy from them, I've noticed that they often deliver next day, even though I don't have prime and always take the free and slow delivery option.

Have you done a budget planner before?
You can do one on step change website you don’t have to be in debt to use it.

Is there any spending you do not know about, gambling transactions, gaming costs etc.

People are very good at accounting for the priority bills and regular spends
Personally I do it with my food shop- £60pw budget but this just counts my main shop.
I go to the shop throughout the week for milk and bread and other snacks and this adds up.

I would start with a realistic budget, then set up some saving pots- easy access ideally.
As soon as I get paid I pay 125 into a savings pot. Then 45 my pet insurance pot and 45into my car costs ( I save up all year to be able to pay the pet insurance, car insurance in one payment to save money on the monthly plans)

I too sub to Netflix and prime- I keep prime active for the free deliver but I cancel Netflix if nothing good is coming up.
Cut the take away back to once a month.

You're being really dismissive. How do you expect to get costs down when you won't cancel any of the non-necessities? You keep randomly remembering more outgoings which shows that you have no idea of exactly how much you have going out each month.

You can't keep making excuses. You don't ever 'need' a McDonald's. If you want to eat nuggets and chips then buy them frozen.

Unless you make a list of every single ingoing and outgoing then nothing will change. You've had some great advice but you seem more set on trying to justify your spending.

Places I can see to cut costs are

• Amazon prime. Amazon is not the cheapest place to buy from the majority of the time, so you will likely be paying more for what you buy from there. Also the prime fee is just for convenience, lots of things do have free delivery if you absolutely need to order from there.

• your food is quite expensive at 100 a week. Have a look atideas for cutting that down. When I was a student I spent £30 a week on two adults and we ate well.

You need to budget what everyone else has said. To the penny.

Shop Aldi Lidl. And go veggie 3/4 days a week.

Cancel prime and Netflix and just use the free services.

I had 4 of us on min wage plus top ups and it was tough but doable.

Also. Why do you need two cars if you’re a SAHM?

Can you walk the kids to school or get free or subsidised bus transport for them?

Car cost

We budget £130 a month running expenses for our one car
( £40 fuel, £40 for mot, servicing, maintenance and repairs, £10 tax, £40 insurance).

Then we save £200 a month towards our next car, which we usually buy every 7-9 years and is no different than people who pay a monthly lease fee.

So the cost for us is £350 a month to buy and maintain one second hand car ( usually around 3 years old when we buy it) . These costs go up as the car gets older as the service and maintenance increases

Sorry £330 a month not £350

My point is though that I think we spend less on cars than many people but two of them would be £660 a month which is s massive amount even our income which is higher than yours op

Hi OP. We are also a low income family and it sounds like you're doing well. There have been some great tips so far from PPs.
Personally I would not use your savings to repay your debt. That's your emergency fund, and you need it. You could get that money working better for you though. You don't mention if you get TC or UC. If not it is worth applying. Even if you are awarded a very small amount you can access this,
www.gov.uk/get-help-savings-low-income/eligibility
You and DH could drip in £50 a month each from your savings pot and it pays quite a generous bonus. It is also accessible if you need it.
Also, are you utilising cash back sites when you switch utilities, insurance, phone contracts? If not it is well worth looking into. I save my cashback up to pay towards christmas each year and it does help!

Morning OP lots of good advice on here and apologies if this has already been suggested but if you get DLA can you look into Motability for one of your cars? It depends on what rate you get but if you need a car to transport one or both of your DC you may be eligible and it will save you a fortune although you do obviously use some of the allowance up.

I agree @bumblingbovine49. That’s why I asked if they really needed two cars.

And on that wage I wouldn’t be getting deliveries. It’s too expensive. I have roughly what the op does for me and two kids at uni and I don’t get deliveries - mostly because I can’t afford it.

Same with Amazon. I have prime on a student membership but if ds didn’t have that I wouldn’t have it.

We pay for Netflix between the three of us (and yes, I take the money off the kids on principle) and I have sky as a package with my broadband for £50 a month. But until I got my most recent job, we didn’t have sky.

Phone is £10 a month - second hand phone bought outright for £100 and a goff gaff sim.

The op needs to change her mindset.

How much are you spending on Amazon? I have Amazon Prime and I know how easy it is to do an order without really thinking about it. Go back and look at your orders month on month and see what you have been spending there? It may surprise you.

@MixMatch

Why won't your child eat a packed lunch?? if they're hungry they will eat it but you have stop pandering to his whims - you're the responsible adult. Netflix and prime are luxuries.

Also look into getting cheaper mobile phone deals if possible. They'll definitely be areas you can save put you have to focus on living within your means.

Getting married is relatively cheap and should be your priority considering the precarious situation you are in right now as a legally single person. Just go to the church/registry/other religious. If you're already thinking of spending more than this, it means you've been used to spending more than you can afford.

Clearly hasn’t bothered to read the thread or have any idea of what it’s like having a child with SEN

@LemonSwan

I have read the thread. Its max 3k. Shes running an extra car, is SAH so the utilities are on more, has multiple children and a house which is falling apart! I honestly can see why its not working and sympathise.

This.

Keep your savings but take steps to pay off the debt slowly. Tracking everything you spend really helped me, I wasn’t spending on anything particularly frivolous or extravagant but I knew where the money was going.

Really think before you buy anything. Even little things. Could you borrow it, get it second hand, do without? You could probably shave a bit off your shopping. Shop your cupboards or fridge once a week.

It’s probably about being a bit frugal till you can up your income.

I think 2k is not enough sadly to be running 2 cars for a start! £400 P/M mortgage is a quarter of your take home pay leaving £1500 for food ,bills and clothes .Running a second car is expensive .Is it essential ? Could you and DH car share maybe .Take him to work ,he cycles maybe once or twice a week .Takeout twice in a month guessing about £ 100 ? I write down a budget and can see where our money goes .(Try to stick to stick to it not always possible obv)!Shop around for a cheaper supermarket/Energy bills/car insurance .Good luck!

2 cars probably means

2x car insurance - shop around
2x MOT - shop around
2x car tax
2x service & repairs - shop around
2x car breakdown AA, RAC - shop around
2x petrol - shop around
Someone mentioned a motability car on another post, you may be eligible ?
Car parking
Total cost for transport is ?

Have you included

Birthdays family, friends, children
Christmas
Haircuts
Charity

Do you have access to view the monthly bank statements ?

You can switch banks, some were offering £100+ to switch

Some banks offer small cash back on utilities & things that you buy like Santander & Halifax which add up over time. See Money Saving Expert website

Is it an authorized £200 over draft each month ? You should get this down to zero

I've read all your information and you are actually doing quite well. I wouldn't use your savings to pay off the debt until you can reduce expenditure, but I would use them to avoid going into overdraft.

I'd recommend analysing your expenditure very simply into food, cars, regular bills, essential repairs and extras. There will be some stuff in the "extras" column that you will identify as non-essential. If you want to save for a holiday, this is where you will need to make cuts. Maybe cancel Amazon Prime as that will discourage you from buying non-essentials online.

The other place is your food bill. Although you don't spend that much could you cut out waste completely by batch cooking and freezing, eat less meat and cook from scratch using basic raw ingredients? Avoid branded items, buy supermarket own label. Use frozen vegetables to supplement fresh ones. Peas, sweetcorn and cauliflower for instance are much better and cheaper than fresh. Home-baked bread is cheaper and better than shop bought and very easy when you are at home.

If DC is eating the expensive school meals, they may be worth it. Otherwise they aren't value for money. I would check up on this.

Good luck!

Recently in my area covid-19 vaccination admin jobs were being advertised as remote working. They wanted administrative staff to email people vaccine appointments from home. Have a look at something like this, Google home working jobs & see what comes up. Local charities, school admin & Council often advertise term time jobs as well. Worth looking and setting things up for when schools reopen.

Also, sell any unwanted items & toys etc on local selling sites and use profits to reduce your debt.

@LemonSwan

I am seriously impressed you live on that! I have no idea how. My partner and I (no children) earnt roughly the same for a few years with a similar mortgage, running one car and we couldn't manage. Slowly worked our way through all our savings of 15k.

I don't like all the pearl-clutching 'why have you got Prime AND Netflix???' posts, but that is absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Regarding holidays ,can you see if DM or the Sun are doing any deals at all? (£15.00 a head sort of thing) What about a large tent? Kids often enjoy camping as well .When DC were younger they also enjoyed Days out .You say you live rurally .Could you make a day to London,Bristol or wherever is near to you?

In a similar situation a few years ago, debts, always ending the month in overdraft, no luxury’s and no savings.

I went through all my statements for the past 3 months with a fine tooth comb. Looked at what I could have saved on.

I cancelled or cut back on anything that I could, Netflix went so I saved £10 each month, Spotify another £10, phone put to sim only on the smallest deal saving another £20. It all adds up and isn’t forever, just enough to get on top of things.
I did this until the debt was gone and I was out of my overdraft.

Next for me was building an emergency fund, just £1000 at first. That’s for emergencies only.

It feels like a massive thing but you can change your mindset.

As soon as I saw your water bill I knew you were with sww

Cancel prime . In the run up to birthdays etc, simply watch for when you are offered a week for 99p, order what you want, binge watch whatever you’ve had an urge to see, and then cancel again before the week is up.

This has the benefits of both avoiding the prime cost, and stopping unthinking Amazon purchasing. Which is something you will find you’re doing when you look back and assess for everything you bought whether it was a want or a need.

Also - look at Dave Ramsey and Graham Stephen on YouTube.