Sorry long post :( I have another account on here that i use occasionally. Please i need you opinion. Be honest
I am technically engaged. my DP asked me to marry him a year ago on my birthday (New Year’s Eve 13 months ago) and I said yes. Now the context.
He is still TECHNICALLY married. No kids. Has been separated for 3 years(we have been together for 2years and 3 months now), everything with the ex is going rather amicably, she has a new life, new boyfriend, knows about me. They had a business and a few properties together and the divorce is (as far as i am aware) in the final stage but has been dragging because of entwined finances. Add last year of Covid and everything takes ages he says. Anyway- back to the proposal.
He proposed on my birthday but let’s put it mildly, it wasn’t what every woman dreams of. It was completely unplanned, drunken kind of proposal, he hadn’t planned to propose, didn’t have a ring, he just kind of blurted it out after many too many glasses of wine. I was in a similar state, I said yes but deep down was feeling really sad that it was happening this way. I wasn’t sure he really meant it, i couldn’t even properly remember it.
The morning after he reassured he wants to marry me as soon as he can and he definitely meant it.
We provisionally agreed on spring 2021 (mind you, it was January 2020, so covid was just a tale in the papers about some new flu in Wuhan).
I had no way of knowing that he would still not be divorced a year and a bit on from that moment so we still can’t make any plans.
Also there is a sad ‘twist’ - he still hasn’t got me an engagement ring, money is not really the problem here, he is earning a very very good salary. He’s had 13 months.
We went on a short holiday abroad in August, I was 300% sure he had been waiting for a special moment to surprise me with the ring. He himself had mentioned it at least 5times as that point that he needed to buy me the ring, so i was really expecting it. Nope.
His explanation after I broke down in tears by the end of holiday- said he wanted to get me the best ring and covid is the only reason he hasn’t yet AS HE CAN’T GO SHOPPING. Between now and the ‘proposal’ over a year ago, he said about 25 times he couldn’t wait to marry me, except i don’t know what is going on?
Christmas- no ring
New years (and my birthday)- no ring (no mention of the infamous proposal the year before either)
I am not even counting on Valentines and unsure at this point what I want.
We have no wedding date, he is married still, no ring.
Every time I ask about the divorce (every 3-4 months) he says it’s nearly finished, almost there, just waiting for some papers.
Am i being unreasonable to feel so confused, and like this has been a complete head fuck and to feel fed up and drained. I would (and was) absolutely fine, ticking along nicely, enjoying our relationship until he half proposed and never followed through. I wasn’t pressuring him, talking about it, demanding a ring. HE did it, in a very shit fashion and started fucking with my head by not making things happen. Please tell me objectively- am I being a princess or this is not right. AIBU to feel a bit stupid at this point. Thank you