What would you do?

[Dementedswan]

Dh and I have been married 17 years, two dc in primary school for a bot of background.

When met dh was 11st at 5'9. I was 8st 2 ish at 5'2. Over the last couple years dh has put on 6 stone of weight, I find this unattractive.

However he thinks there is just more of him to love. At 5'9 and nearly 18st, with type 1 diabetes and other health problems, apparently I'm unreasonably for asking him to lose weight for his health and our physical marriage.

From your post I thought he has adult onset diabetes from his poor diet.

So I take back the implication that his diet has caused his diabetes, and I apologise if I have offended anyone with diabetes.

My opinion still stands about his lack of cleanliness and self respect.

I would leave.

My ex really gained weight. He is incredibly lazy and often doesn’t wash. I think subconsciously it was a fuck you because he didn’t love me anymore. He knew that health and fitness are important to me and thought I’d just put up with because I was a martyr.

My dh gained weight over the yrs.Not six stone.I was worried about him as his dm had died in her 40s of a heart attack.
He had one at 53.A major one that need a couple of stents while my parents were battling advanced cancer.
He even went through a phase of not brushing his teeth much so I stopped kissing him.
His HA Wasn't really a wake up call and he said he would rather eat what he wants and be happy!!
In lockdown I cooked everything and walked everywhere with him he lost a whole dress size.
I feel your pain.Not everyone has the money to pack up and leave.
Did you mention to him the weight gain before it became 6 stone?

Sorry I'm late back. Hes on novorapid and lantus. Has been for a long time. He's always pestering for sex despite me saying he needs to wash... apparently I should just accept his smell . He I always working as he enjoys it, laughing chatting, teams calls etc. And despite me saying he needs a work life balance he just prefers to work 🤷‍♀️ he's asked me if he gets a wash can he come to bed... I said why can't you just wash anyway, why am I left with the decision of you washing or not.

Amd he's taken offence at me saying j would prefer him to wash... so punishing me by sleeping downstairs. 6 days since he washed 🙄

I couldn't fancy someone who could go three whole weeks without a shower, he must have stank .

He's always pestering for sex despite me saying he needs to wash... apparently I should just accept his smell.

I'd be tempted to just be very blunt and say you don't find him attractive anymore, due to the smell and also his weight gain. And he can either decide to either start doing something about it, or storm off in a huff and ignore you like he has tonight. Then you can decide if you want to put up with it or not, wouldn't blame you if you didn't.