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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this weird?

121 replies

Mum2346 · 23/01/2021 18:19

My husband is self employed, he had finished a job and instead of coming home went and parked on a car park for 2 hours before coming home, he did this as he said someone was meant to be coming out to the job to look at it so he needed to be local to it, I only found out as he has had a fine for being parked there for to long. I think this is weird but he says it's normal. Is it weird?

OP posts:
boredinthouse · 23/01/2021 18:41

Do you have DC? Maybe it was quieter in his car to ring clients/email while waiting for his other client than it would be at home.

Original poster
Mum2346 · 23/01/2021 18:45

He wasn't ringing clients as he doesn't do that type of job. It looks like it's normal though and I am being suspicious. I did ask him where he was and he said he was at work (He didn't know I'd seen the letter)

OP posts:
AStudyinPink · 23/01/2021 18:48

I don't get time for myself, it doesn't work like that.

Change it.

LaceyBetty · 23/01/2021 18:48

What was the job? Does it make sense in that context? Wouldn't he have done this many times before if it is "normal"? Has he?

Champagneforeveryone · 23/01/2021 18:51

When DH was self employed yes, perfectly normal. Though this is Mumsnet so he's definitely having an affair.

LochJessMonster · 23/01/2021 18:54

Nah I’d be suspicious sorry

EarlLeighIndamornin · 23/01/2021 18:58

How did he get the fine though?

If he was sat in his car surely he would have noticed a warden writing a ticket? Or was it automated?

GoryGilmore · 23/01/2021 18:59

My neighbour's husband sits and takes an hour of calls from his car whenever he gets home from work which I find pretty weird. He's usually parked outside our house; his own house is a bit further around the corner.

Not that weird given most peoples working lives are more difficult than usual at the moment. My husband sometimes does this, we have two young children at home and making undisturbed phone calls where he can concentrate is pretty much impossible, and I ask him not to park right outside our house when he gets home if he has calls to make as the DC go absolutely bonkers if they spot his car outside.

Lucieintheskye · 23/01/2021 19:00

OP what are you thinking? It seems as though you're struggling to accept he was just sitting there for peace and quiet, even if it's not fair on you.

Do you think it's something suspicious? If he had someone in the car with him he may have forgotten to pay for parking or been too distracted. It's unlikely he was sat in the vehicle by himself waiting for someone work related and left without paying.

Maves · 23/01/2021 19:01

Agree @EarlLeighIndamornin...if he was sat in the car he wouldn't have got a fine..are you sure that's what the fine was for? And though it sounds awful not erm doing something dodgy in the car.

Original poster
Mum2346 · 23/01/2021 19:03

It was an automated fine, one that takes a picture of your reg when you enter. I don't trust him, there are other issues, I have also told him I am struggling with this lockdown and this just seems very selfish if that's what he was doing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum2346 · 23/01/2021 19:04

I think you get so long on the car park for free

OP posts:
CherryBlossomTree7 · 23/01/2021 19:05

@nancy75 it's very strange IMO to sit in the car for hours on your own rather than go and spend time with your partner. If this is something you enjoy, each to their own. The OP asked if it's weird and yes, I think it's weird and makes me think he's doing something suspicious like meeting a woman.

Murmurur · 23/01/2021 19:05

It's certainly open to an innocent interpretation. A meme doing the rounds on my autism parenting FB groups saying sitting in your car, on your drive, is a form of self care.

gamerchick · 23/01/2021 19:08

@Mum2346

No he had only been there 3 hours, I can understand people saying he needs time to himself but this situation is difficult for everyone, I haven't had any time to myself as I am home schooling 4 children every day.
Well it's pretty obvious why he's done it OP, we all get desperate for time to ourselves on occasion, especially in these strange times.

You need some time to yourself as well though. Maybe it's time for a chat so you both get some down time.

Original poster
Mum2346 · 23/01/2021 19:11

Funnily enough on that day when he got home I came upstairs to have half an hour to myself, he followed me and got into bed and went to sleep therefore I had to go back downstairs to see to the children

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 23/01/2021 19:12

Are you home schooling DC right now? Honestly if I could get away with doing that at the moment in the name of work requirements I would. Flask of tea, a book, silence. Bliss.

Original poster
Mum2346 · 23/01/2021 19:13

I'm home schooling yes, he is still going to work as normal.

OP posts:
breatheinskipthegym · 23/01/2021 19:14

Could be totally innocent. Like a pp above, errands often take me longer as that’s the only way I can snatch some ‘me’ time right now. The only incriminating thing is croissant crumbs on the drivers’ seat, not lipstick on my collar or whatever.

However, if this is one of many things that don’t quite add up, or cause alarm, then be watchful.

YukoandHiro · 23/01/2021 19:16

I think that's your answer then. CF, yes. But not really that odd.

Quacks2020 · 23/01/2021 19:24

Not normal, I'm suprised at so many people saying it is.
If he was doing that he would have text or rang. Just to let you know he would be late.
Sorry but there is another woman. He either went somewhere with her or sat in the car.
Dont know how you'll prove it.

Original poster
Mum2346 · 23/01/2021 19:26

He wasn't actually due home until the time he got home. I only found out as I saw the letter with the fine on to say he had been parked there.

OP posts:
Stinkyjellycat · 23/01/2021 19:27

I’d do the same. I’m not sure why it’s weird 🤷🏻‍♀️

RaininSummer · 23/01/2021 19:33

Sitting in car may make sense but unless you are in London or somewhere similar, why wouldn't he just pull up somewhere rather than go in a pay car park? Seems a bit weird so maybe he did meet someone.

TiersForFears1 · 23/01/2021 19:33

Just as him.