To ask what you think of Feminism? (Pic included)

[Newfor2021]

After viewing this image.

I suddenly feel conflicted about whether I’m a feminist or not!

YABU - go earn your money!
YANBU - family first

I always thought Feminism was the idea that women and men should be treated equall - equal opportunities, equal pay, equal distribution of childcare/chores (however, this may vary depending on whether one spouse is in the house more). I think it's also about choice.

@wellthatsunusual

The OP was posted in the middle of the night by someone who hasn't come back, with a username that implies they have just joined. I'm going to guess it's a right wing American, probably male, trying to plant doubts in the head of all us women who don't know our place.

This made me laugh as I am most definitely female - gender & sex! Have been on MN for years, so they’ll see the different user names.

I suppose it triggered me because of my own guilt, I left my son Mon - Thurs from only 9 months old for around 1 ur to go and train, to then earn money and provide for his future.
I thought I was doing the right thing by being independent and ensuring I had financial freedom to leave his father who was abusing and gaslighting me.

He hated nursery and school, would cry every day and hated me leaving
Was I right to secure my freedom, or should I of settled for a sexually abusive relationship or been reliant on the government for our financial provision?

I guess I’m angry because I feel like for most of society we are in this never ending rat wheel of survival. Starting right from school, to work, retirement then dying.

So I’ve worked my ass off all my life, just to try and provide a mediocre future for my son, and to finally stop working 40 hrs per week when I’m ready to start thinking about dying!

As you can probably tell life is feeling a bit like a battle at the moment, ‘normal life’ seems pointless and I’m wondering what I’m actually doing and is it all worth it?!!

@Newfor2021 - none of this explains why you posted that silly meme and questioned feminism.

[quote Maireas]@Newfor2021 - none of this explains why you posted that silly meme and questioned feminism.[/quote]
Because it triggered me and I wanted other people’s opinions on it?

When I see something that makes me question how I feel about it, I normally seek out other people’s thoughts.

It’s been interesting to read the different perspectives to it, so thanks everyone.

Why does it bother you that I shared it and asked for others thoughts on a social sharing and discussing platform?

It’s ok to ask these questions isn’t it? It’s ok to question the narrative that many of us find we are living.

Is this the picture you meant to post?

@Newfor2121, It doesn't bother me that you shared it. I'm surprised that a woman would, surely you understand that equal pay and other rights are essential? You wouldn't have had independence without it.
Working long hours is not the fault of feminism, so it's natural to be curious about your agenda.

The difference is that when you serve your husband and family you have no power, but when you serve your employer you have power and choices.

@Idratherberude

Is this the picture you meant to post?

Haha yes @Idratherberude that pic is very apt!

[quote Maireas]@Newfor2121, It doesn't bother me that you shared it. I'm surprised that a woman would, surely you understand that equal pay and other rights are essential? You wouldn't have had independence without it.
Working long hours is not the fault of feminism, so it's natural to be curious about your agenda.[/quote]
When have I said that equal pay and other rights are NOT essential???

@CaraDuneRedux, yes very goady!
It is unusual for someone to be open about opposing equal rights, though. Some good responses from pp!

Whoever posted that picture is an arsehole who hates women. Don’t let it get to you. You did the best for your child in the circumstances. No need for guilt over working. Many women are lucky to enjoy their careers and even work for themselves.

No one guilts men into choosing between work and kids. Funny that.

@Newfor2821 have a look at the meme and your remarks. If you are anti feminist, you are obviously anti equal pay.
We will just need to agree to disagree. Perhaps address some of the other posts on here now rather than just mine. Adios.

How have I opposed equal rights @Maireas?

By sharing something and asking people’s thoughts on it and how it relates to their life?

Sorry but isn’t this what Mumsnet was designed for? To openly and freely discuss matters affecting us?

@ShastaBeast

Whoever posted that picture is an arsehole who hates women. Don’t let it get to you. You did the best for your child in the circumstances. No need for guilt over working. Many women are lucky to enjoy their careers and even work for themselves.

No one guilts men into choosing between work and kids. Funny that.

That’s so true and thank you @ShastaBeast

[quote Maireas]@Newfor2821 have a look at the meme and your remarks. If you are anti feminist, you are obviously anti equal pay.
We will just need to agree to disagree. Perhaps address some of the other posts on here now rather than just mine. Adios.[/quote]
Haha again, please explain why you have stated I’m anti feminist?!

How can I be anti feminist when I’ve had to fight for my freedom against the male patriarchal system that has been created and designed to keep us entrapped?!

Er, that’s not what feminism is. So it’s the old straw man argument. The poster has posited a ludicrous straw man that “women who serve their employers are free but women who serve their husbands and children are slaves”

Feminism is about equality between the sexes, which did in fact require the liberation of women. We were the property of our fathers until married and then husbands, until he died, but then ownership transferred to our eldest son who could marry us off again and so on until we died. Assuming we survived childbirth because we had no reproductive rights whatsoever. But I digress, so hand in hand with liberation was also the right to choose what we want to do with our lives whether that is paid work or to be a SAHM.

Then, even if we worked for employers we were not free because any wages earned for our work was owned by our father/husband/son. We were hired out like livestock.

Today, working or stay at home mother, we are (mostly) free.

guess I’m angry because I feel like for most of society we are in this never ending rat wheel of survival. Starting right from school, to work, retirement then dying.

Yes. We are all in that cycle. Men and women. Unless we are independently wealthy. But everyone who has to work to survive is in this cycle.

Feminism is a woman having a choice and having equality with men. Not serving anyone.

The womans choice as to what she does with her life.

It's not right or wrong as long as she can choose.

That image is not a definition of feminism.
In fact it's misogynistic bullshit designed to make women feel bad about going out to work.

How have I opposed equal rights @Maireas?

By sharing something and asking people’s thoughts on it and how it relates to their life?

Actually what you said was

After viewing this image I suddenly feel conflicted about whether I’m a feminist or not

which sounds to me more like someone questioning feminism than their own life choices. Had you put it the way you did in your post of 14:24 you would likely have received encouragement and reassurance rather than having your arse delivered back to you on a plate. Though of course the real arse is the author of that meme (and so is your son's father). I don't have much time for exploitative employers either.

If that picture is enough to make you feel conflicted about feminism, then you haven't got the first clue about feminism.

Rather than basing your ideas on a silly meme, either do some reading or go onto the excellent feminism boards on Mumsnet where some excellent women discuss issues pertaining to womankind. Tempting though it may be to only hang out in AIBU I thoroughly recommend an occasional trip over there.

In essence feminism is about breaking down the continued oppression of women by the patriarchy. However is a complex subject and honestly I think many feminists would find your post and meme insulting because it is so reductive of the issues feminism addresses.

“Serve”? Like, serve dinner? Or like, serve your master?

I don't think a meme that pits work vs homemaking and places both in the context of serving is really about feminism.

Having seen so many women and their children screwed over by financially abusive men, I'd tell any woman that listened - put your financial security and independence first.
And if anyone tries to make you feel bad or inferior - a servant for example - pay attention 🚩. We're not often the ones who have the luxury of choice or the ability to change society.