Had enough of my family. I've gone on strike!

[Glastonbury2020]

Locked down with DH and 4 teenagers. Apart from me, no one:

• cooks any proper meals
• loads/ unloads the dishwasher
• puts a wash on
• wipes kitchen surfaces/ cooker top
• sweeps the floor
• cleans the bathroom
• makes lunch

I have had enough and I'm not doing it all anymore. Last night, I made myself a fish finger sandwich for dinner and ate it in my room. Ignored everyone when they wanted to know what was for dinner. This morning, I made breakfast for me and I'm now sitting in bed drinking tea. Rant over. Thank you for listening!

Dear god my 28 year who is in my bubble has spent the day helping strip my bedroom lifting heavy boxes into the loft . Breaking down the bed pulling up our carpet all we had to do was provide him with a hot meal . My family were raised to load the dishes to feed pets to make cups of tea to tidy their rooms . No it wasn’t always without complaint but there is no way I would be a slave in my own home 😳 help or hit the road !,

@Glastonbury2020

Locked down with DH and 4 teenagers. Apart from me, no one:

• cooks any proper meals
• loads/ unloads the dishwasher
• puts a wash on
• wipes kitchen surfaces/ cooker top
• sweeps the floor
• cleans the bathroom
• makes lunch

I have had enough and I'm not doing it all anymore. Last night, I made myself a fish finger sandwich for dinner and ate it in my room. Ignored everyone when they wanted to know what was for dinner. This morning, I made breakfast for me and I'm now sitting in bed drinking tea. Rant over. Thank you for listening!

You are my idol!

teenagers? My 10 and 8 year old empty the dishwasher and are now making super for us. Its biscuits, but we have a big lunch. They will also have to tidy up after themselves and did wipe all the surfaces before they started.

They are having a fucking argument over it though.

I like your style. More of us should do this.

DH are the DCs just don't realise what running a house entails for us.

Keep it up OP until they address it with you.
Massive Paul Hollywood from me 🤝

Love your work OP!

I have 3 teens in the house. A while back I basically stopped doing everything for a while.

Now...

They get their own breakfast and lunch. DH or I cook dinner and order the big grocery shops. I quite often send the teens out to buy grocery top-ups or collect the click and collect order.

During the week we all share the dishwasher loading/unloading, pet feeding, clearing up after dinner, etc. They all do their own laundry. They take it in turns to walk the dog. They empty bins.

At the weekend I usually ask them to do a specific chore each eg vacuum downstairs, clean a bathroom.

Last week DH replaced a toilet, and two of the teens spent much of their day helping him. The third went to work.

I knew we'd got to where I wanted us to be the other day when DS15 told me off for not rinsing out my Diet Coke can, and instead just leaving it on the side - he actually used my words back at me - "Are you letting us know that you're just too important to do it, so you'll leave it there until someone less important does it?"

I was quite proud

The other side of it is that I have to be willing to live in a house that is cleaned to their standards, and if mine are higher then that's my problem.

Also I try not to think about their actual bedrooms, and I do occasionally gently suggest that they might wash their sheets and run a vacuum around.

They are hoping to be nice for a day then go back to normal. Stick to it. Ignore the dirty dishes.

This!!!!!! My husband does his equal share and I don't have to ask him to do anything, which should be the norm for any person.

BUT! FFFFFFLUFFING BUT!

Who do they call!? Me. Who takes on the mental load!? Me? Who deals with the stroppy teen and left to look like the bad cop!? Me.

Muuuuum...Mummy.....my Queen (my 7yr old son calls me this...don't ask me why, he's a soft touch.), my 7 year old daughter thinks my diva thrown down is funny.

I make sure the house is full of food
Take care of the finances
Work from home for the DWP
Studying my PhD with the OU
Everything that needs an answer!? Me!

So I snapped.

"I don't give a flying faaaaark about your PS/Charger/Phone/Switch blah blah blah...I don't know what's for dinner! Or snacks! Faaaark off all.pf you and go ask the other human being in the house, his name is Dad...incase you have forgotten."

I'm just a tiny bit stressed.

Breeeeeathe.

This thread is more exciting than the ‘I think he is having an affair’ threads.

I have no idea how this will end and I am really rooting for the OP.

Ooh intense. You need a family meeting to plan sharing the workload or you'll crumble.

They need to share with you and you've done well to manage so far!

Personally I've been on a hamster wheel of kitchen duties since lockdown but am getting my 12 &15 year olds to clean as they go, do their own lunch and do one eve a week dinner. They also do their own rooms as well. One empties dish washer the other sets the table.

Not sure if this is too much /not enough but still have to nudge on a regular basis! Still better than the alternative!!

I had a fourth child when my older kids were 16, 14 and 12, and they really pulled their weight, helping with everything. No one could have asked for more help in the house and outside too. They had a rota, so they never had to do the same job twice and on a Saturday they all helped house clean so it was done in double quick time. Again, if one cleaned the bathroom one week, he'd hoover the following and know one of the others was doing the bathroom. I have to admit though, that when that fourth child reached 12, all the others had left home, there was no rivalry, and the little bastard never lifted a finger and nowadays considers himself a guest when he returns from university for his holidays. I think I went wrong with him somewhere...

Nice work OP!! Great they are making changes already

Mine are 3 teenagers and they do contribute to all the household tasks and always have done - but still argue and moan about it 🤣🤣

My reply is always that I encourage independent parenting and they’ll thank me for it one day

👏👏👏 OP.

I once ran away from my kids - about 10 and 13 at the time - because they were driving me crazy and despite my pleading would not stop their maddening behaviour.

Dh was away for work at the time - I didn’t care. I got in the car and drove for 2 hours to a friend I hadn’t seen for ages because of the distance. This was long before mobile phones so I didn’t let her know - just turned up on the doorstep saying, ‘I’ve run away from my kids!’

Had a great evening nattering and getting pissed, and stayed the night.

Drove back the next day to a pair of suitably chastened dds! I don’t think they’d ever have believed I’d do such a thing.

Never once regretted it.

That is seriously impressive.

You'll get flamed on here though.

Happy during lockdown, yes he wears unironed clothes, for work, he objects and says they needs to be ironed.

I refuse to pay for a laundry service, especially as I actually don’t mind ironing.

He does cook dinner most evenings, he’s a chef by trade, but appreciates a night off sometimes. DS cooked last night, he’s very capable, but still struggles with everything being ready together

@Arobase

I think it is about time to sit down with a large piece of paper headed "Rota" and say that, now that they have all discovered where the kitchen and its contents are, it's time to make a rota which will be stuck to. Say you're perfectly happy to organise it to fit with people's commitments, but they will each be doing their fair share, if they don't you won't be filling the gaps, and anyone who doesn't do his or her share is going to get left out of the next day's meals. Also tell them that each of them is going to be responsible for their own washing from now on.

Oh no. No no no no no no no no no. No.

The OP might suggest to her DH or one of her passing offspring that that perhaps a rota might make everyone's lives easier, but it shouldn't be her responsibility to organise the thing.

the empty biscuit wrapper, is it lonely?

The OP might suggest to her DH or one of her passing offspring that that perhaps a rota might make everyone's lives easier, but it shouldn't be her responsibility to organise the thing

Absolutely! It needs to come from them.

You have been a saint. So, when you are ready to talk to them remember that proposition beats argument. So propose some basic rules, eg everyone does their own breakfast and lunch. Then You have a piece of paper in the kitchen on which everyone writes shopping requests. Then you list basic jobs eg cooking evening meal, emptying bins, shopping, dishwasher emptying, laundry etc and you draw up a weekly rota. Good luck. A rota is the best thing I did in the first lock down

@Emeraldeyes20 Will you be watching this thread and making notes?

I hope this thread has a great outcome and gets into Classics.
Fingers crossed OP!

@Glastonbury2020

RoosterTheRoost

“The silent treatment” is psychological abuse. Can you not talk to your family like an adult about how you feel instead of the passive aggressive tantrum?

Oh please! Enough with the amateur psychology nonsense! I am sick to death of talking. It makes no difference.
Anyway, just had a lovely lunch for one in my room. Found a tub of fresh soup in the fridge and heated it. Also took the last 2 chocolate digestives and left the empty packet on the side, alongside the empty soup carton and the dirty saucepan!
Me, immature? Never!

You go, girl! And people (sorry, not sorry, if this offends, RoosterTheRoost) like RoosterTheRoost who don't understand your motivation obviously haven't been in a situation which merits it! Love the biscuits and leaving of detritus by the way. Who needs maturity when revenge is required, lol.

@ChelleMum85 😂😂

Good for you, how does it get to this point.

I hope they all start to help and chip in now and you can have an open chat about the chores they all need to do?

@ivykaty44

the empty biscuit wrapper, is it lonely?

Yes. I think it must be very lonely.

Brilliant !
I can imagine them having a desperate whispered PowWow together when the penny dropped that the live in Domestic had down tools.
I need to know if you have capitulated ?
Have they emptied the bin ? done any laundry ? swept the floor ?