DD’s science teacher AIBU

[Adviceneededalways]

Dd14 is quite an opinionated teen and has become very sensitive to even a sniff of inequality. I think it’s quite cool that she has strong beliefs but do sometimes have to tell her her to rein it in a bit..

She came down from Google classroom tonight on a fowl mood and announced that she was drafting a complaint letter to her science teacher due to an argument they had over an exercise in class...

The exercise was dividing statements into fact and opinion, ie FACT on average the sun is 150 million miles from the sun. OPINION pineapple taste good on pizza...

The final one was girls should be able to work in any area they choose which I’m sure you have guess the teacher was adamant was opinion and if had been marked down on the sheet as such...

I personally think this is less about being opinion or fact statement and more to do with it being a poor choice of example in a class of predominantly strong minded young girls but DD is very upset and angry at her teacher.

Is she being a bit immature and dramatic or does she have a point...

I’ll include the work sheet in next post.

@AStudyinPink I didn’t say the statement was dated I said the worksheet/text was.

How do you know, then?

Because I cut out the section with the original authors name and date of print!!

‘Dated’ doesn’t mean the same thing as ‘old’. ‘Dated’ means the content is out of date. But it isn’t. People still have blood tests, the Earth still orbits the Sun, pineapple still goes on (some) pizzas and sexism is still rife.

Not dated at all. Urgent and current.

This is the lesson I’m least bothered about her learning, isn’t it important our children have the ability to politely (and it was politely) say hang on a minute I’m not sure I agree or understand, let me go back and reflect.

I’d much rather at 14 that she had the ability to do this than never react to anything and just blindly copy and write stuff down without ever really thinking about it.

“Yes....but all DD has found out is that should means it's an opinion.”
Nobody is expecting her to blindly copy and I didn't say that the only thing she has found out is that should makes an opinion. I said the situation has been a good lesson for her to learn that just because she thinks she is right, doesn't mean she has to have an argument and fire off complaints.

You've somewhat toned it down there saying is about her politely saying she doesn't understand or she isnt sure if she agrees. Your opening post says she left an online lesson in a 'fowl' mood having had an argument with her teacher because she thinks they were wrong, and she was ready to write a complaint letter. You also said yourself she needs reigning in at times, but you didn't want to tell her she was wrong (even where the central issue from her perspective was that she decided the teacher's correct lesson materials were wrong).

My point is that the whole situation has been a useful lesson that just because she has a strong opinion on a topic and is willing to argue, doesn't make her right.

It actually horrifies me that there are people on this thread who believe nobody should ever tell another person they are ‘wrong’. The OP seems to think that’s a bad thing to do. It’s the responsible thing to do in many cases! What happens when the kid gets to 17, gets a car, and the internet tells her it’s okay to put petrol in a Diesel engine? Are you just going to shrug and say, “She has strong views and I’m very proud of her”? Or she’s 30 and buying her first house, and her mate tells her subsidence isn’t really an issue in a property these days?

Sometimes people are plain wrong. Just tell her if that’s the case.

@LolaSmiles I’m not toning down anything, when I first posted I hadn’t read the text between my DD and her teacher which I have now...

My DD was in a bad mode and described the conversation as an argument hence why I checked and was quite surprised how tame and polite it was in comparison to how DD described.

As I have said before she said she was surprised at the example, and didn’t think she agreed or understood and wanted time to think about it before she wrote it a fact in her work.

Also saying I didn’t want to tell her she was wrong is using only half of what I said. What I actually said was I thought it would be far more beneficial for DD to come to the right answer herself which I encouraged through some great suggestions and similar examples posted here.

It is only using half of what you said, but you did strongly imply that you wouldn’t ever tell her she’s wrong because she has a ‘strong mind’, and actually it’s the opposite of a strong mind to be unable to hear rational argument and for you to always think your opinion holds more relevance than fact.

@AStudyinPink I think we can apply a little bit of common sense to this though can’t we, you seemed to have gone way out of context to try and prove a point that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

All 3 off my DC get told they are wrong on a near enough daily occurrence...

Don’t leave things lying in the middle of the stairs it’s dangerous.

Stop playing/slamming doors someone’s fingers will get trapped.

No that maths formula is wrong

That was was a really horrible thing to say and very disappointed in you...

In this instance I thought it was better for my DD to find the right answer another way, which she did with us both learning about a few things along the way.

Well, I’m all for common sense, OP. In this case, a bit of common sense would have told your DD a lot. Perhaps it’s something that has to be modelled?

@AStudyinPink

It is only using half of what you said, but you did strongly imply that you wouldn’t ever tell her she’s wrong because she has a ‘strong mind’, and actually it’s the opposite of a strong mind to be unable to hear rational argument and for you to always think your opinion holds more relevance than fact.

Nope I never implied that at all in fact from my OP said that I had no problem with reining her in when she got a bit big for her boots...

You said: “ I won’t be telling my daughters she’s wrong, she’s 14 with a strong mind which I love and would never try to put her down make her feel like her opinions were irrelevant.”

So you used the word “never” with regards to telling her she is plainly “wrong”.

Which is not really what you are saying now.

But okay.

I think you've stayed very calm OP in the face of lots of spiteful criticism of your dd. I really wouldn't bother trying to justify yourself or her. Some posters on here love to put the boot into young girls, particularly if they feel a teacher is being criticised.

Even when you shut down their fun by having the dignity to come back and say your dd had had a think about it and calmed down, some posters are still trying to find ways to have a pop.

@AStudyinPink and yet 3 days later a group of geographically diverse women are still discussing and debating it...

I don’t think you need to worry about my DD Pink, I’m pretty sure she is going to turn out just fine.

and yet 3 days later a group of geographically diverse women are still discussing and debating it...

But some of them are plainly wrong. Like your DD was plainly wrong. And it was clear from the outset that she was plainly wrong.

I’m not worried about her, I just don’t agree with your assessments of her.

@Frodont thank you. 😊

The thing is that some things are wrong. She was annoyed that the teacher correctly identified an opinion in a class exercise because she decided it wasn't an opinion.

I could see your point about helping her reflect on the fact that a strongly held opinion doesn't make something fact, but what I don't get is why the idea of complaining was even considered a reasonable course of action.

Dear Teacher, I object to you correctly identifying an opinion as an opinion. I consider the opi8to be true, therefore it is a fact.
Or to do what other suggested after accepting the teacher was right:
Dear teacher, I was previously most annoyed that you used correct teaching materials in your lesson, especially when you correctly said an opinion is an opinion. You see I agree with that opinion strongly and consider it to be fact. Thanks to your lesson where you correctly taught the difference between fact and opinion, I now realise that an opinion I agree with is not a fact. Unfortunately I still wish to complain because I feel the examples you used weren't appropriate and you should choose examples that don't involve opinions I agree with, even though in this email complaint I entirely acknowledge your lesson successfully addressed the topic at hand.

@AStudyinPink the difference is she has only just turned 14.

And thank god for her you don’t need too.

Have a good day Pink.

@AStudyinPink

and yet 3 days later a group of geographically diverse women are still discussing and debating it...

But some of them are plainly wrong. Like your DD was plainly wrong. And it was clear from the outset that she was plainly wrong.

I’m not worried about her, I just don’t agree with your assessments of her.

Well you might have to accept the OP might know her dd better than you do. I know, madness isn't it!

Or maybe she's WRONG! Shock horror! Why not ask yourself why it's so important for you to prove a 14 year old was wrong about something. I don't expect you were ever wrong about anything when you were 14?!

I was frequently wrong at 14. And when I was wrong people told me. And that helped, because now I can understand the difference between fact and opinion, and I have no illusions about my own abilities.

Anyway, OP, you have a good day, too.

Frodont
I'm glad the OP got a good resolution.
I also think the situation was a good lesson for her daughter in not getting in a foul mood and ready to complain just because she thinks her view is right.

I also think the situation was a good lesson for her daughter in not getting in a foul mood and ready to complain just because she thinks her view is right

Well done - you've just sorted out every 14 year old on the planet

@AStudyinPink

I was frequently wrong at 14. And when I was wrong people told me. And that helped, because now I can understand the difference between fact and opinion, and I have no illusions about my own abilities.

Anyway, OP, you have a good day, too.

Well good job the OP and her dd have done exactly that then isn't it?

I have been mulling over the original question set on the worksheet for a while and the more I think about it the more I see it as an interesting and thought provoking question.
It seems very relevant in this era where Donald Trump presents option as fact. Remember the ' alternative facts' about his inauguration? Young people deserve to be encouraged to debate this sort of issue. I think both you and your DD have missed the subtleties of the question. It has really made me think!

Well good job the OP and her dd have done exactly that then isn't it?

Sure.