I already know I am, but it’s hurting me a lot

[Cash02]

Bit of back story, I have one sibling, a sister, she’s always been slim, a bit of picky eater.
Me on the other hand, on the bigger side, always up for a meal and apparently crawled after a steak at 5months old.
I was never more than a little chubby until I hit puberty, weirdly early, at 9 years old, I started gaining. Later to find out I had PCOS, and went on to develop and eating disorder.

She’s a very competitive and snarky sister but at 22 years old you’d think she would’ve lightened up a bit. She’s always made comments about my weight, what I’m eating etc. I can’t eat a thing without her giving me a nasty look.

However in 2019 I lost a lot of weight, about 4 stone, she hated this, always made a point to eat less than me and state how small she is.

But I had a baby last year, and have put on almost 2 stone, it’s obviously upset me, but she’s absolutely loving it.
Just 10 minutes ago, I was cooking my dinner, she comes into the kitchen and says ‘oh I wish I could have dinner but I had some pizza for Lunch, wouldn’t want to get fat.’
I said ‘you won’t get a medal for not eating, just have some dinner,’
She replies with ‘my reward will be not being fat,’ with a snarky look on her face.
Am I being sensitive? Or should I say something? I’ve never said anything once, I don’t like talking about my weight so if she brings it up I just ignore her and pretend I didn’t hear.

It may sound a bit trivial but this isn’t the only thing she does, but it would take forever to go into detail.

SHe's miserable and wants to make sure you are too, because that will magically make her happy. Except of course it wont.

I feel sorry for her too, as you do, but that doesnt mean that you should sacrifice your own self worth for hers.

I would grin and bear it until she leaves and then do as you said, go NC. In the meantime, the best thing you can do to someone who is trying to nit pick at you is to smirk and agree "Yeah, you're probably right". She cant have a row all on her own.

Wow your sister really doesn't sound like a nice person at all. I am sorry you are have a sister like this. My guess is she really isn't happy at all with her life and thats why she spends her time making you feel bad.

I’d try and have a serious conversation with her about how shes making you feel and that you want to try to have a better relationship with her not putting you down all the time.

This will give her chance to change her behaviour and if she doesn't accept her behaviour is wrong and show any change at least you know where you stand.

I’d distance myself from her completely. Why would you want to spend time with someone that makes you feel like that. I’d concentrate on your family and you new lovely baby.

I hope it works out for you but if not don't give her anymore of your time. You deserve better : )

Sounds like she has zero self esteem and like she also has disordered eating/ food issues. if anything I'd pity and feel sorry for her.

She sounds horrible, sorry OP that you have to deal with this. It’s not trivial at all. Show her this thread. And if you do, here’s a message for her: OP’s sister, stop being such a bitch.

This is about your boundaries and what is and is not okay to say. When it is not okay to treat you badly. You mentioned that once your gm passes, may be the time. Could that be years and that does bring damage. I grew up with this and at some point, it is important that you draw the line for yourself and your child.

Another poster had this, Perhaps gently but firmly telling her that you love her but you won't accept any more digs about your weight might be enough.
But you need to add what will happen if it continues. What are you willing to do? for example, if you continue to bring my weight into the discussion, I will have to ask you to leave. Or I will have to stop seeing you.

Whatever you decide, do it from strength not as a victim (i am not saying you are). also do this for your child. This sounds like a generational issue from your parents and maybe before them. You can change it, but strong boundaries are needed.