To ask Nanny for weekly antigen test ?

[oliveoilandcheese]

Is it reasonable to ask nanny to take a weekly antigen test ? I'm also happy to take one. I'll buy them myself and provide them. I just feel safer that way.

The tests would be fine although I don’t think very helpful unless she was tested every time she came into your house.

It’s a bit worrying that your previous nanny asked you whether she could pick the baby up and move it to another play area. Are you hiring fully trained professionals? Just I’ve worked in childcare for years and I would never think to ask if I could pick the child up. I would consider if you maybe gave off the vibe that you weren’t comfortable with her picking the baby up?

I am currently in therapy. But we aren't really addressing this issue.

I only mention this because it could be something to work on with your new nanny.

@Kanaloa thank you I really appreciate it !

@Kanaloa I really don't think I gave off any vibe to be honest. I'm really down to earth ( too much ) and honest with people and often get taken advantage of because of that. Often people don't actually respect me because I'm too real / honest / nice. She did that on the first day. Maybe she was nervous, but she was an experienced nanny. I told her to chill and even told her to let my daughter watch peppa pig if she needed a break etc. She also liked to cook everything from scratch for her and I told her it's OK to give her Ella pouches for fruit and for her to chill and have a cup of tea. I really treated her very kindly and she didn't leave me, it was a circumstantial thing. I also didn't expect her to always clean up plates and do laundry. I told her many times that I'll do it and she can go home. She was super willing to do that but I wanted to give her some time to go home early sometimes and things like that. She really enjoyed working with me and I enjoyed working with her. And she knew about the covid anxiety and was OK with it/

CEV = clinically extremely vulnerable?
Why not mention that earlier in the thread?
It makes your extreme anxiety about covid a bit more understandable.
Anyway, I hope the therapy is helping with it.

@NameChange30 I didn't want to make it about this. But thank you.

I didn't want to make it about anything except the question but it spiralled. My fault.

@oliveoilandcheese

I didn't want to make it about anything except the question but it spiralled. My fault.

But it's directly relevant to the question! If you're clinically extremely vulnerable, you have to take extra care not to catch Covid. It also means you're probably more anxious about covid - with good reason - but it sounds like the anxiety has spiralled to unhealthy levels. And a bashing on AIBU is hardly going to help you feel better!

@NameChange30 haha yes the bashing hasn't really helped but it has made me see that some of it is extreme and from nanny's point of view with going for walks. So I'm at least grateful for that.

@oliveoilandcheese I think you've had a really rough ride here today - I'm CEV too and totally get your Covid related anxiety - we'd be mad not to be worried about it!

You've mentioned several times that you have your reasons for not wanting a new Nanny to take your child out without you until you had got to know them properly, I don't see why people can't take your word for it, instead of accusing you of being controlling and an abusive employer - as you said, your previous Nanny wouldn't have been happy to work with you if you were such a terrible boss!

I hope you manage to find a Nanny you and your child are both happy and comfortable with.

@BetsyBigNose thank you. I'll go an lick my wounds haha. I think maybe I'll stay away from here for a bit. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault for the bashing, but I don't think it's good for me at the moment with everything else going on and all the other worries. But something good came out of it in how I'll approach the nanny and it's good to know how badly it can come across if you don't want your nanny going out on a walk with baby.

I think everyone would have been a lot more understanding if you said you were CEV. But 5 pages later and after specifically being asked if there were health reasons for you feeling like this, to which you still said to had some health issues but still didn't mention being CEV, then you really should have said. People aren't psychic.

Tbh, none of this makes much sense still. Your first nanny was clearly in post when your baby was old enough to eat, so I'm assuming post 6 months, and is under a year still, and in that time you've gone back to work, fired a nanny, returned to mat leave (which you can't do) and are now returning to work again and seeking a new nanny. I can understand why you don't want to set out a complicated and identifying story, but without context, people's responses are always going to be a best guess.

And I thought shielding was now back, which means you wouldn't be going back to work at the moment anyway.

@Babyboomtastic yup exactly right. I'm not looking to provide identifiable Information here. I really didn't want it to be about me. It was supposed to be about the antigen test thing

@oliveoilandcheese

Whilst I get that, you can provide accurate information without it being identifiable. Saying that you are a shielder, returning to work, and you are therefore trying to reduce the risk to yourself etc, makes you sound a bit more same about it.

I still think you need help for post natal anxiety though, because not wanting nanny to take out baby seemed only partly due to Covid, and also other anxieties, and worries about baby being covered by a rain cover etc are not normal worries.