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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask Nanny for weekly antigen test ?

140 replies

oliveoilandcheese · 19/01/2021 21:29

Is it reasonable to ask nanny to take a weekly antigen test ? I'm also happy to take one. I'll buy them myself and provide them. I just feel safer that way.

OP posts:
CloudPop · 19/01/2021 22:24

@oliveoilandcheese

Nanny childcare nanny is what I meant.
Very obviously what you meant, first poster being deliberately obtuse
Original poster
oliveoilandcheese · 19/01/2021 22:27

@TennisBunny I have no intention to micromanage. I am just not keen on someone going out alone with my baby who I barely know. Later on perhaps yes. That trust needs to be built. The nanny is free to do what she wants but just not leave the house without me. Happy for her to go in the garden etc and do what she wants. I have no interest in micromanaging her. I have a very stressful job and don't have time to be thinking about every little thing. Also, if the nanny doesn't like me, she can leave. And vice versa.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 19/01/2021 22:27

Op do you work from home? How rigid will you be with your nanny following any "rules" you set?

Original poster
oliveoilandcheese · 19/01/2021 22:30

@MichelleScarn that's all it is though. Do the tests and don't go out without me. Do whatever else you please. Yes I work from home. If you think I'm going to be super controlling, fine. But I'm really not. I'm the most relaxed mother I know, aside from covid problems and I have my reasons.

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 19/01/2021 22:30

I think @daisypond has a point OP. Why don’t you give up work and look after your own baby?!

You would also be very unreasonable to only allow the nanny to go outside with you on your lunch break. What is all that about?! You either trust someone to look after your baby or you don’t.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/01/2021 22:30

How much later . Week. Month. Few months

I get you need to trust your nanny

I was one for 20yrs

But that’s it. My employers trusted me or they wouldn’t have employed me

What do you think nanny will do. Kidnap child - take where you don’t want your child to go etc

Original poster
oliveoilandcheese · 19/01/2021 22:32

My situation is very complex. Not something I'm willing to share in more detail than I have. Thanks for the input anyways and all the best to everyone.

OP posts:
Circusoflove · 19/01/2021 22:33

You might find it hard to hire. Not because of the tests but because of the restrictions on leaving the house. People will agree to anything in an interview so that they can review their options later.

CloudPop · 19/01/2021 22:34

@PinkiOcelot

I think *@daisypond* has a point OP. Why don’t you give up work and look after your own baby?!

You would also be very unreasonable to only allow the nanny to go outside with you on your lunch break. What is all that about?! You either trust someone to look after your baby or you don’t.

Surely you must understand that this isn't an option?
Thekinkymouse · 19/01/2021 22:34

Yanbu about asking the nanny to do a completely useless test, but yabu to micromanage so much that the nanny isn't even allowed to take the baby on a walk without you.

What else? Are they going to be allowed to change nappies? Feed your baby? Play in the garden? It sounds really overprotective and claustrophobic for the poor nanny, though I appreciate they don't have to take the job.

GoodWeatherforDucks · 19/01/2021 22:36

In the many and varied nanny jobs I have had over the past 20 years, no mother has ever accompanied me on my initial excursions from the house more than twice, if that. I suspect that most nanny candidates that you interview will politely nod to your intention to accompany them for what sounds like quite some time, but will be crossing you off their prospective employer list!

ineedaholidaynow · 19/01/2021 22:37

Is your nanny going to be live in?

june2007 · 19/01/2021 22:40

If you said not leave house for first wk or two fair enough any longer well I think the nannies would get fed up. How can you insist a vaccine when so many people are still waiting and doctors and have only had the first out of two? (in many cases.) Tests yes you could do but what happens if it becomes positive? are you all go to isolate for 14 days? Or just put her on sick to you all have had a more official test?

cautiouscovidity · 19/01/2021 22:42

@Plussizejumpsuit

Depends how often she works but in all honesty I don't see the point as she will have had contact with you and your child anyway.
Exactly. If you got a positive result, it's likely she'd have been in your home in the few days beforehand so a bit too late to act on it anyway.
katy1213 · 19/01/2021 22:42

You sound completely paranoid, whether about Covid or something else as well, it's not clear. You're going to have trouble keeping a nanny, unless you pay so much over the going rate that she'll think it's worth it.
Why can't the nanny take your child out? You can't flap your arms and wave the virus away from the pram! Is the nanny going to be living-in and will she be similarly imprisoned on her day off?

GabsAlot · 19/01/2021 22:44

did a pp said we should be forced to have a vaccine it wouldnt be a protecte characteristic?

really when they cant force anyone doctors ,nurses etc how are you going to start making it part of a job requirement

christinarossetti19 · 19/01/2021 23:04

It's fine to have weekly covid tests as a condition of employment (leaving aside the question of whether the lateral flow tests are useful or not...), and I agree with pp who say that you need to be very explicit with prospective nannies re: your concerns about covid and not wanting them to leave the home with your baby without you.

Have a think about how comfortable you'd be in terms of contact prospective nannies might have with other people eg using public transport, who they live with.

It's not fair on either party if you're not clear about your 'zero tolerance' approach to covid (which is totally fair enough, but you need to ensure that the nanny who you employ has the same outlook at you).

Notmoreuodates5 · 19/01/2021 23:19

@TennisBunny

I'm a Nanny, OP. Be careful of being overly precious about your baby - it's a common problem and I know many, many, many nannies who have left jobs because the Mum was overbearing, controlling and had a tendency to micromanage. Usually this was because she was anxious about the baby/child. A good Nanny is hard to find - you'll need to trust them to do their job, and banning them from leaving the house without you is not a great start.
Exactly. She might as well just do it all herself. Imagine being followed on a walk. Gosh I would hate it and I’m not even a nanny!
oblada · 20/01/2021 02:05

@GabsAlot

did a pp said we should be forced to have a vaccine it wouldnt be a protecte characteristic?

really when they cant force anyone doctors ,nurses etc how are you going to start making it part of a job requirement

You cannot randomly force long service employees to have a vaccine and the public sector (and/or unionised sector) wouldn't want to go there either but as far as employment law is concerned you can ask an applicant to have had a vaccine I would say. Refusing to have a vaccine is not a protected characteristic so an applicant who doesn't wish to have the vaccine would not be employed. I cannot think of any legal issue with that. It may seem unreasonable to you (and me to some extent), it doesn't make it illegal.
TennisBunny · 20/01/2021 08:00

OP, you do not sound like a relaxed mother at all, your whole tone was off even before the insistence on remaining inside. You will find it incredibly difficult to keep a good Nanny.
I've worked for people like this, and I'm sure they were convinced that they were entirely reasonable - despite going through Nannies like tissues.

Most Nannies would not choose a job where a parent works from home - certainly not one where there's a no going outside rule.

Original poster
oliveoilandcheese · 20/01/2021 08:03

Thanks everyone. I do take the comments on board and definitely will let the nanny go for a walk by herself. It's just unheard of where I come from that you would let someone take your baby out when you don't know them yet. My mum for example said ' absolutely not at first '.. it must be a cultural thing perhaps.

After getting to know her a little better, I will definitely be OK with it. But if I also wish to go for a walk with them on my lunch break then I think that should be OK ? It would be nice to get out of the house and spend some time with my child. Perhaps the nanny doesn't need to come with us. I didn't really see it like me supervising an outing, I just thought of it as us getting out of the house together- but perhaps the nanny wouldn't see it that way.

I did have a nanny before by the way who agreed to all these things and we had a great relationship and went for walks together etc. I didn't micromanage her at all. It ended because I ended the situation because my circumstances changed. She would still be with me if I had not ended it. To all those inferring that no nanny would stay with me etc. I get why you think I'm super OTT and would treat my nanny oh so terribly- but it really is just that I'm apprehensive to let them take the baby away on their own. It's quite complex but there you go. So thanks for the advice, I'll definitely be more flexible about it. But I'm not a bad employer and I don't micro manage or treat my nannies badly. Case and point that I had one for a while and it worked very well.

OP posts:
Original poster
oliveoilandcheese · 20/01/2021 08:17

Oh just to add when I say that my previous nanny agreed to ' all these things ' I don't mean the antigen test as it wasn't available at that time and has one become a recent option. ( as I know some will pick up on that I said she agreed to 'all these things ' and then question why I even started a thread in the first place if I already did it anyway ).

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 20/01/2021 08:19

Maybe a cultural thing

Abs yes take your child out for a walk

Give the nanny a break

Original poster
oliveoilandcheese · 20/01/2021 08:33

@Blondeshavemorefun I think so but I am glad I mentioned it on here and realise it can be quite insulting to the nanny. It won't make her feel trusted.

OP posts:
LemonViolet · 20/01/2021 08:46

Refusing to have a vaccine is not a protected characteristic so an applicant who doesn't wish to have the vaccine would not be employed. I cannot think of any legal issue with that.
Refusing a vaccine isn’t a PC, however, disability is, and a policy denying employment to unvaccinated people could be argued to unfairly discriminate against disability so that’s the potential issue.....arguable I think but until tested in court I think it’s open.

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