Refusing to homeschool

[SonicTheSorryRabbit]

Curious about this...

How many parents have simply decided that they're not doing homeschooling? Either because they're wfh and can't balance that with homeschooling or because it's too much for their kids and making them miserable?

If you're not homeschooling, (i) are you getting a hard time from the school?; and (ii) what are your kids doing instead?

YABU - we're homeschooling.

YANBU - we never started/we've given up.

Sort of. I am a full time student at university now studying online. Also part time work. I have two kids. Y7 with SEN which is a nightmare and Y4 who is a bit behind because of the amount of time spent on SEN. Y4 child I just make sure she does some English and some maths every day. Y7 is an ongoing battle we try to make sure he completes all his online lessons and work but it’s a nightmare and has resulted in anger and tears from everyone so far. It’s not that I cba it’s that I don’t know how to help him or teach him. I got As and abs in all my GCSEs and nothing has made me feel as stupid as trying to homeschool my kids because I just don’t know how. It doesn’t help that we live in a flat with DS12 still sharing a bedroom with DD8 and no garden so they are just at one another’s throats. There is no space for a designated homelearning office space and after a few weeks of this homeschooling we are all now just miserable.

@DipSwimSwoosh. But the government can fuck off. It has to be told what to do by footballers. The Education minister has absolutely no idea what he is doing.

People are losing their homes, jobs, marriages and sanity in all this. As if times tables and printouts were a priority for anybody, at this time.

Spot on DumplingsAndStew, NeonBella and others who are doing the best with their offspring under difficult circumstances. I truly don’t understand any parent touting the “ AIBU to refuse home learning”. Did your child never do homework/ never get read to/ never get taken anywhere educational pre pandemic? I totally get and have huge sympathy with parents juggling jobs/ studying/ multiple children/ online learning - but really why have children at all if the view is that any and all education should solely happen in school and that all learning ceases when school closes?! Teachers are slogging their guts out to meet recommendations of at least 3 hours online learning a day. Nobody is expecting that all families and all children will access every single task/ worksheet/ project every day - but putting on an educational programme, reading to children, getting them to bake with you etc ? It’s all learning for a child. But abdicating completely ( if that’s what the original post really meant) is really poor parenting!

I can’t make head not take of the google classroom stuff for my youngest, I’m not tech savvy and it’s full of links and downloads and codes - I can’t cope with it and he hates it. So I’ve bought some workbooks and a lovely writing journal for thoughts, diary, book reviews, whatever. For maths he does a workbook - we’re doing our own thing at his level now - he is making progress and is much happier, as am I.

I am a single parent working from home full time, exhausted and struggling. One my sons has learning difficulties and needs alot of support doing the work. My other son is autistic, had frequent meltdowns and alot more over this lockdown so is about 4 days behind with the work due to various issues like the online group zoom meetings which school has now decided he shouldn't do because it is making things much worse and the main reason he's now behind because it kept setting him off so much. They have been really helpful and trying to put things in place to help him but they are not condemning me for him being behind. He is very bright and will be able to catch up. I would love him to have a place in school as I think it would be better for his mental health and ours, we all need a break, but I know school don't really want him in as it is a big risk with me being clinically extremely vulnerable to the virus and I think this is the only reason they haven't offered him a place. At the same I know it's safer staying at home which is the only reason I haven't spoken to them about it. I think it's unreasonable not to try when so many are trying to do at least some of the work.

DuaDipa same here, I log on early (very early) try and get an hour or two in before they wake up then a full day of meetings - after which I still need to feed everyone, actually do my work and attempt any schooling. They are Y2&3 without the ability to complete independently. And yes you can do things at the weekends (evenings are a write off, by the time we are available to support, they are exhausted and that ship has sailed) but I don’t want us or them to spend the entire weekend fighting over homework. That’s unacceptable. Working FT is very rarely 9-5 and yes if I was fortunate enough to do those hours I could probably squeeze more tuition in bookending the day.

We are home schooling but it’s hard and I’m knackered do an hour between 8-9 set schedule with some work to last them for another hour or so -constant interruptions I take my lunch hour do an hour of school over it, DH then takes his lunch to teach for 1 hour then an hour after work get DC to find educational stuff on you tube. Not sure how long this can go on for. Have a permanent headache at the moment.

My two have pretty much full timetable with much of it delivered live. Yr 8 ds pretty much sees to himself, yr7 dd needs more supervision to keep her on track.

Teachers have my admiration as I don't know how any of them keep her learning 😂

Parents refusing to homeschool their children will be classed as vulnerable and offered a place in school...however this depends on their being space to do so safely so should not be an "easy way out".

If you do not engage with home learning at all it is not good enough... teachers did not choose this and we understand things are tough, many of us are also juggling home learning at the same time as physically teaching in school, setting home learning, making welfare calls, dealing with funding issues, safeguarding..

We ask that you do your best...if that's an hour on a night with a sat morning set aside to focus on the key skills then that's great!

But please don't just refuse to do anything!

@Whattodowithaminute

I have 2 DS engaging well with live lessons, I’m not making them do any extra even though it’s provided. Last lockdown one of them cried every single day, this time he’s happy. My youngest DS is only 4 and isn’t engaging well at all, we do little bits here and there but broadly he’s playing on his own lots of the day.

He’s still so young, he will still need lots of play to learn anyway, so I think what you’re doing is absolutely right. What a great example your other two are setting for him!

At my school refusing to homeschool is being classed as neglect.
Lack of daily engagement results in an absent mark and threats of the EWO have begun.

@FancySomeChips

At my school refusing to homeschool is being classed as neglect. Lack of daily engagement results in an absent mark and threats of the EWO have begun.

This despite the DfE saying no fines would be issued??

When I had all 3DC (Y4, Y1 and 6 month old baby) at home alone, I told the school that I might use the set work as a springboard for our activities but we wouldn't be submitting/completing all the work or even much of it. Both my older children have significant SEN and emotional stability and learning things via nature hunts/podcasts/crafting etc is the only learning they were able to access. I totally understand they've needed to close schools, but either my children are at home with me and I'll educate as I am able/see fit, or they are at school recieving an education via the state. I don't see how the LA can enforce state curriculum in a homeschooling environment - I understand they have a legal responsibility to provide the curriculum,but how can anyone legally enforce that I as a parent have to teach that in what is essentially a homeschooling context?? Sorry, not RTFT so this might have been discussed already.

Two children at home ones who's 3 and could be in nursery but I don't want to take the risk, she's asthmatic. My 2nd one is almost 7 and I'm trying my best to homeschool I'm not a key worker I'm a sahm so I'm very lucky to have the time but honestly I'm struggling she's struggling and my other little one wants my time too. School are not doing any live lessons for year 2 just lots of videos explaining how to do it but sadly we are now behind with work and the Constant notifications texts emails to say more work has been added is driving me round the bend. They are only responding to emails or messages during school times I think 10 till 4 which is absolutely fine with me but they send out text messages and emails telling you new work has been added and sometimes it can be 11.30 at night. They want 4 hours per day 😫

I should add that my eldest did really well engaging with online learning by himself, it was only the middle one that I had to speak to the school about

Working and home-schooling is undoubtedly extremely hard. I work part-time in a very stressful role and my DP works full-time. We have a YR and Y5. We are both wfh and count ourselves VERY fortunate that we have understanding employers that have carers plans in place which means we have both dropped work hours to 2.5 days each so we split homeschooling 50/50.
There is very little downtime though and I'm often working after they've gone to bed to keep on top of things. If I've had to go into work (which had happened a few times we have to juggle and a lot of TV gets watched).

If we didn't have understanding employers it would have been night on impossible to support the children at home without taking leave.

@FancySomeChips

At my school refusing to homeschool is being classed as neglect. Lack of daily engagement results in an absent mark and threats of the EWO have begun.

I this is THREATS

They can threat all they like. At the end of the day some parents still won't engage.

The government have given guidance to local authorities. So legally no action can be taken in the pandemic. No successfully anyway.

This is interesting as I am a key worker as is my husband. My ds goes to school 2 days a week and is doing much less of the set work at school than I do with him at home. For 2 days this week he hasn’t done any English or maths at school on google classroom, just the fun stuff. I think saying there will be consequences is a bit threatening actually and not helpful to parents trying their best.

My dd is struggling with the home schooling, she is year 8 and can’t always get the file to load, she had one earlier on zoom where they had a worksheet that took ages to print as the bloody virus protection wouldn’t let us open it, then it was about a previous text they had been sent for another lesson, which we couldn’t find. She would rather be at school, but we are furloughed and would obviously rather her here and safe, besides I think the teachers are not faring any better.

"Have you ever had a child who is supposed to be doing live lessons refuse to get out of bed? Be violent towards you? Threaten to kill themselves? Cry and cry? Just lie on the floor with their head in their hands and refuse to respond to you?"

"We are trying very hard but Ds has ASD and is a school refuser. Refusing to do almost all work but we are still trying every single day. School have offered a vulnerable child place. Ds won't go because schools are closed it says so on the news every day."

This is our situation too. All of the above. DD in Y9, supposed to be choosing her options atm. ASD/anxiety/MH issues, school refuser, already on a part time timetable as she couldn't cope and refused to engage with full time school. She is attending some live lessons, sporadically (1-3 a day), but not doing any other work. She has always struggled to work from home - school and home are kept totally separate and she can't handle two being combined. Last lockdown she did no work at all from home, so this time 1-3 lessons a day is an improvement. But school have already reduced the number of subjects they will let her take at GCSE because she isn't fully engaging with home learning, and if she continues to refuse they may reduce her choice further. She is already having to choose between her favourite subject and her best subject for GCSE. She is just 14, extremely bright (grammar school) and doesn't appreciate the problems she is causing for herself long term. But the tantrums if I even try to discuss this with her are horrendous and mean she digs her heels in even further. Like a PP, school have offered her a place but she refuses to go because schools are closed and her siblings are at home.

I am finding homeschooling both impossible and distressing, seeing a bright future go to waste. I can't see how this can be improved until schools open again and I can get her back in. In the meantime this lockdown already means she won't be allowed to take all the subjects she wants at GCSE (they have reduced the number of subjects she is allowed to take). This will have consequenses for her sixth form and possible uni choices. If schools were open, she would be attending those lessons as she enjoys them. It is her anxiety about using Zoom and her refusal to work at home that is the problem.

Sorry this is so long. I have nowhere else I can vent!

Surely you are only failing your own child ?
I don't get this mentality at all !
Been remote learning since March 2020 due to cev child.
In some jobs it absolutely would be impossible due to the parents job roll but also they aren't working 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We have friends who are in this situation they came homeschool during the weekdays because of work but they will cover a little bit each evening and over the weekend.
The 'we can't do that so we just won't do anything at all' I feel for kids who have parents with that mentality and suffer from a lack of resilience to even attempt to try and do what they can

Even just 30 mins before work and 30 mins after work is better than nothing. Reading, TTRockstars, spelling app or BBC bitesize are things that need minimal imput from a parent.
I'm homeschooling 2 reluctant children and feel like jacking it in, but I'm going to keep going and do as much as I can while trying to balance work and a happy home life. It's worth the hard work now.

@ReginaPhalangee

Interesting...what can you the school do about it if parents refuse to homeschool? Can you take them to court?

Potentially, yes. There are referral options. Of course nobody wants to have to go down this route at all and we want our families to engage, so we are throwing as much support out as we possibly can.

Given that the DFE have stated there must be no unauthorised absences and no enforcement during lock down - its ridiculous and completely wrong to say a parent could be fined for not home schooling.

@FancySomeChips

At my school refusing to homeschool is being classed as neglect. Lack of daily engagement results in an absent mark and threats of the EWO have begun.

What a ridiculous stance to take. Your school is being completely ridiculous. A bit like those policemen claiming they can issue fines to people for travelling to places to exercise. Absolutely bonkers.

Our school has just today stopped recording anyone not in a live lesson at the set live time as unauthorised absence. It was a ridiculous policy as a lot of kids don't have their own device, kids with SN, working parents etc.