Refusing to homeschool

[SonicTheSorryRabbit]

Curious about this...

How many parents have simply decided that they're not doing homeschooling? Either because they're wfh and can't balance that with homeschooling or because it's too much for their kids and making them miserable?

If you're not homeschooling, (i) are you getting a hard time from the school?; and (ii) what are your kids doing instead?

YABU - we're homeschooling.

YANBU - we never started/we've given up.

We keep getting work sent back. Both working home full time with a reception aged child and a year two child.

Work comes back because the handwriting isn’t up to usual standard, or because one math question out of twenty was wrong.

My child doesn’t want to engage with the work. It’s a struggle getting them to do anything. It’s further demoralising to keep being told it isn’t good enough for both us and our child.

Jolie12345
The title doesn't say teachers refusing. My point is, it is unreasonable to refuse to do any work with your child when teachers are in the same boat with juggling and managing a few different jobs and they are not giving up.

Sadly due to covid both DH and my hours have hiked up to 55 and 65 per week. We have enough time to feed the kids, put them to bed and watch a daily film or do a short walk with them and that’s it. The walk or film is usually my only time off housework and working.

I can not fault my childrens school, my two younger children are in reception and yr 1.
My yr 1 child has sen and his whole life as he knew it before Christmas has been turned upside down.
He is struggling really bad and has resulted in meltdown after meltdown.
The school has been very supportive and has given me work that he is more likely to do (interests based).
They have told me not to put pressure on myself and to do what we can do.
Most schools will work with parents and find ways to make it easier.
So if your struggling please contact the school.
Don't feel like you and your child/children have to suffer in silence.

I'm not doing any homeschooling. Dd is asd and refuses to do any schoolwork at home. She works fine at school and enjoyed school before lockdown. What would take a normal child 15 mins take my dd 3 hours of meltdowns and tears and we both end up frazzled by the end of it. I dont have the time to do that when I'm also working ft from home. Dd has been refused place at school as school doesn't think she'd cope at school with all the changes. Wtf am I supposed do? I feel that asd children have just been hung out to dry.

However I see educational value in children learning other skills. Planning walks using maps, planning a meal and cooking it, photographing and playing with images, creating cards for family, dam building. Play that stems from boredom.

The title doesn't say teachers refusing. My point is, it is unreasonable to refuse to do any work with your child when teachers are in the same boat with juggling and managing a few different jobs and they are not giving up.

^^

All the teachers I know are working kid free in school or working from home with partners to look after kids. I’m sure this isn’t always the case. However their role is to educate kids. The teachers at my kids school seem to assume we have lots of free time to follow a curriculum

I've given up and have had to accept that 2 of my 3 will fall behind, but hopefully the teachers will know how to manage that on their return.
I'm a single parent working from home, my job is vital to my company but not a key worker. My high school daughter is logging on and doing her best, so she's a little behind but not enough the school have contacted me.
My 2 primary boys however, have one laptop between them, all they are being sent is links to white rose maths and worksheets, then worksheets for everything else. Along with a YouTube link for an assembly and a teacher reading a story per day. Thats it. I can't get them to engage, and couldn't for example get the YouTube links to work on any other device than my laptop as that's where the email with the links was.
School have called every week and I've told them the truth, they said they will try and help... but nothing. One of the boys has adhd but no echp so they know how challenging he can be. He has also repeatedly had extra support from their thrive team, however we haven't heard from them at all. They also know how difficult going back to school will be for him, as he got a short term exclusion in September because he couldn't understand all the covid rules. I honestly have no idea what I'm meant to do.

I’m lucky that this lockdown I’m currently on garden leave between jobs. This means I’m not working. We are doing the work set by school across a range of 5 different apps. DD is year 5. She has one live lesson per week.
I return to work on 01 March as a Senior Director. I have no idea how we will cope then. My old job was horrendously stressful and had long long days spent on never ending zoom calls. I’m hoping this one starts slower.
If I’m not supporting DD then she ends up crying, the apps don’t work, links don’t open, the material provided doesn’t print for her to write her answers in.... it really does need a few hours of consistent support from me every day just to run the tech.

Great point that giving up is often driven by the kids. Schools aren't always listening and want parents to try harder when we're not the ones they need to engage with. My son hates the work they send, hates the zoom calls and they do no live lessons. They didn't send him anything he liked last year so him giving them a second chance is a challenge. I have a younger son who is more engaged, but they're all different and have their own thoughts and opinions on this. As for 'educational value in other things' if that's true then we can all get away with baking some biscuits once a week and save parents and teachers a lot of trouble. The reality is though that it's not good enough. The kids need to be in school. Maybe not this week or next but they need to be in school, all of them and as quickly as possible. They went to school in the second lockdown and cases still dropped. We're fixated on children but should be looking far more at workplace mixing, not just in schools which are actually far better than most workplaces.

My DD is in Year 7. She does do some work unsupervised during the day but she has a lot of assignments to do and can be very unconfident re teaching herself the non-live lessons. I work until 5.30pm and then get her dinner, so we often spend from about 6.30pm - 9.30pm doing school work. It is tiring for both of us, and I do get stressed and annoyed sometimes about the situation. But it is hard for her to motivate herself and understand things without teaching or help so it has to be done. And we can’t just not do it, no. The school wouldn’t allow it and it would be bad for her education.

I'm finding it really difficult. My workload is crazy busy and I really have to concentrate on it and I'm supposed to be doing 1day a week studying on my apprenticeship. I'm also homeschooling a yr3 who can get on with stuff but needs lots of help and encouragement all of the time otherwise will sit staring at the wall for hours. DH is not much help when he's not at work. I'm close to giving up.

It's not home schooling it's home learning. You're using what school gives you to learn at home.if it is live lessons and you cant do it at the time it should be recorded so you can do it later. Prioritise maths and English.

@Porridgeoat

The title doesn't say teachers refusing. My point is, it is unreasonable to refuse to do any work with your child when teachers are in the same boat with juggling and managing a few different jobs and they are not giving up.

^^

All the teachers I know are working kid free in school or working from home with partners to look after kids. I’m sure this isn’t always the case. However their role is to educate kids. The teachers at my kids school seem to assume we have lots of free time to follow a curriculum

100% not the case for a huge amount of teachers in the UK.

DH is a teacher. WFH remotely teaching 3 days a week, in school 2 days a week with his class (17 out of 30 kids are in school from his class). I work FT. We don't qualify for a KW space at DC school (as I'm not a a KW) so he is certainly not 'working kid free in school'.

Teachers are more than aware that parents have no time too - a lot of teachers themselves are in the same position as everyone else (i.e. desperately trying to scrape by at work, whilst juggling childcare and homeschooling for their own kids!). However, they are pressured by DfE and school leaders to show progression in their class's learning (as curriculum is NOT suspended this time around, as it was with lockdown 1) and so they are obliged to ensure they set work which meets the Dfe criteria (e.g. 3 hours work for KS1, 4 hours (I thnk) for KS2 and more so for secondary).

Yes, their role is to educate kids and I totally agree. But the circumstances aren't normal. My role is to advise clients (solicitor), but due to WFH, homeschooling, juggling childcare and meetings with DH's schedule I wouldn't say I'm doing a great job of that in my role either!

Ds2 is Yr 6 and has additional needs. It is a nightmare- we are doing 1 maths and 1 English plus reading. School are supportive of this. Ds1 is Yr 10 and has a full timetable. No excuses for him - he has to complete it all. He needs alot of support from me though to convert files, check and submit work. I cant wait for this to end- I cried every day last time and it's the same this time. Luckily i have been P/T furloughed so have the mornings free to help them. Schools need to reopen asap.

I keep having to remind myself that the whole country is in the same/similar boat and that as a nation we cannot afford to write off a whole cohort of kids/future workers and tax payers.
Therefore there is no point in panicking and I shall just carry doing what I can do without burning out.

Ds2, 16 almost 17yo, is already planning to repeat the year. I am sad for him but if that's what it takes... My father who is now 88 had his education interrupted for 2 years due to war and displacement and had a further 2 years of 'school' in refugee camps. He achieved a university education and led a successful life.

I'm working very hard on Keeping Things In Perpective

if it is live lessons and you cant do it at the time it should be recorded so you can do it later.

Ours aren't recorded.

@LucyLockdown

I feel like this is a thinly veiled attempt at highlighting why schools should be open but it’s really not working. Even full time workers could help their children at the weekend plus a few hours in the morning and evening. If that’s even required as there’s plenty from schools, Oak Academy and the BBC that’s available to help.

Shitty parents exist in every sphere and whether their kids are in school or not and luckily we do tend to have systems that help protect children.

My kids are fending for themselves because I don’t have a minute to help. I am currently cooking dinner and when I that is done, I will be back to work until about 9pm. It was 10pm yesterday. I will also be working the next few weekends as my colleague who usually covers out of hours is off for the foreseeable.

I am stretched to my limit and am very fortunate that my kids are older and can crack on with their schoolwork without much input from me. I cannot even imagine how those with smaller children are coping and it is privileged beyond belief to refer to those who are doing their best struggling through an extremely tough situation ‘shitty parents’. There is a lot that is shitty about all of this, but it isn’t the parents who are at breaking point trying achieve the impossible and feeling guilty when they can’t manage it.

For the poster who said well you can work at the weekend with the kids, or after and before work, and is sure no one is working all day, 7 days a week - I strongly disagree.

Many people are doing exactly that. Teachers themselves have seen their workload doubling or tripling. I teach and I often work all weekend prepping and marking in a normal year but this year eclipses all others by a long distance with the increase in the workload. Add to that significantly higher stress levels as I teach gcses, my weekend is just not time off.

I'm not the only one, it's not just teachers. So many people are working way more hours than normal and are so much more stressed and mentally exhausted and fragile. A lot of parents are quite honestly at their limit. It's easy to flippantly dismiss the very real pressure so many are under if you are not experiencing it yourself but it doesn't mean it's not there.

Also, kids who are home all week don't automatically have a clear delineation between schooltime and hometime. Bringing in home education at the weekend blurs the boundaries between school and home time further. I can't see this is in anyway beneficial for children, given the mental health impact of lockdown many (most?)are experiencing. They need that seperation quite desperately. I'd prioritise mental health above schoolwork personally.

Just because you can home school on the weekend doesn't mean everyone can,or should.

Lots of my friends claim it's just too hard and not worth the stress so they are not doing it. I know it is hard. I know kids whinge. But it is really not fair to the teachers to just ignore their instructions. The government is putting a lot of pressure on them.

Year 2 here we are getting about 2-3 of the of the 7 assignments set done and that seems to take from around 10 in the morning till 6 in the evening and no online teaching

No it up up to the parent to ensure that homeschooling is donep. I and lots of others are single parents and work full time but still do it. Everyone has good and bad days but we just have to get on with it.

@DipSwimSwoosh

Lots of my friends claim it's just too hard and not worth the stress so they are not doing it. I know it is hard. I know kids whinge. But it is really not fair to the teachers to just ignore their instructions. The government is putting a lot of pressure on them.

On the other side, parents are told to do something they are not trained for.

I would not be able to make any craft with child. If, like one of my friend, I had a teacher asking to create and/or support my child through that I could not do it.
Other parents struggle with the maths or the English.

It’s not fair to expect parents who might well have struggled at school, have dyslexia etc.. to step in at that level.

We watch the lessons (less than an hour per day) and discuss it (reteach it because she doesn’t understand the teacher) but we don’t do the work. It’s not great work anyway but due to SEN and not being scared it’s impossible. The more able kids dominate, asking questions about the next work or random stuff about their parents - there are 30 plus kids and the teacher allows this. She doesn’t offer to support the kids who are actually struggling. Nor does she seem to know my kid or the SEN barriers involved. I presume the lack of teaching is due to time spent marking.

We have 15 mins of 1:2:1 with a TA per week. This is more useful than the other sessions.

We do other things instead. Back to basic reading and writing. Talking about issues eg politics, philosophy, science and history. We’ve gone on trips and learn about people on memorials.

Firstly, I commiserate with those of you who are struggling with home schooling (my DCs are thankfully grown up). I remember when our DCs were starting school in Germany, I was shocked that their school day finished very early (10—11am!) with parents being expected to then supervise homework, help the children learn and explain anything that hadn’t been understood in class for the rest of the day. Permanent, part-time homeschooling in effect.
It was made very clear that this was not optional as children who did not receive this support would fail educationally. Effectively, the mother’s (usually) work had to fit around the children‘s schooling and not vice versa.
I think the same thing applies here. Children who are not receiving whatever educational provision is being made for them at present, will be disadvantaged.
Education is not optional in the UK but compulsory, which implies that homeschooling is also not optional. In the same way that parents have to make arrangements for ensuring their children attend ‚normal‘ school, they will have to arrange to comply with the homeschooling requirement.