To put my non napping toddler 'down to nap'

[KaMai]

The last few days my 2.5yr old has stopped sleeping at nap time, I'm guessing we're starting to drop the last nap :(
I've still been doing nap time routine and popping him in his cot, leaving the room after about 15 mins when he's settled down and all snuggled up, as ibusually do.
Last 5 days there's been no sleep, I've left him in there an hour merrily chattering or laying down and rolling or resting (I'm spying on the monitor!)
I didn't see the harm as he's content and resting but a chat with a friend today has made me wonder. She said along the lines of 'bit of a cop out just sticking him in his cot for an hour so you can have a rest.
I said she was being a bit harsh, but she said when you're little one drops their nap its just abandoning them the 'shove them in their bed for an hour.' Her children are older with naps being history a few years ago now.
I'm pretty sure there's no harm in seeing if he will sleep, or just having a rest but now my mums basically seconded my friends opinion!
I am I doing the right thing or an I just desperately clinging to nap time?!?

Oh I didn't mean to turn the voting on, just wanted opinions!

I think it’s fine. If he wasn’t happy I’m sure you would find out. He still needs some downtime at that age.

I don't have kids but don't see the harm? Are you not entitled to a rest?? It's not like you've put him alone in the shed!

He’ll let you know if distressed so I wouldn’t worry.

If he is happy chilling out for an hour, I'm sure it is fine, in fact probably a great bridge between nap and no nap. As the previous poster said, I am sure if he was not happy he would soon let you know!!

I'd do it, but maybe put some books in, quiet time is a good habit to start. At 2.5, my biggest concern would be the likelihood of her getting bored and having an accident getting out (though that said, all mine were climbers and had to be out of the cot by 18 months due to terrifying escape attempts, so I might be biased, I know some kids are more sensible!).

Her? Him, rather

Sometimes DD doesn't want to nap and I do the same. She spends fifteen minutes cuddling her teddies then calls me to get out. If she wanted out sooner, she'd call sooner imo.

I'd carry on. We had similar with DD at 2.5. A month later she was back to multi-hour naps; I think it was just the relative lack of stimulation during the first lockdown that meant she wasn't as tired as she had previously been.

I wouldn't, personally- seems like a waste of time for the toddler. When age do you plan on drawing the line?

My 2.5 year old just stays awake all day, and I've got a 3 month old to contend with too. It's not that difficult. Then again, my toddler hasn't been in a cot since she was 18 months old, so not sure she'd stay in bed even if I wanted her to!

It’s absolutely fine and good that you do this. He may not sleep but he is still having a rest. He’s taking a break from whizzing around and being loud and taking in loads of information. Rest doesn’t always have to mean sleeping. It’s good for toddlers to learn that they can be awake in bed and not need to instantly get up and find mummy. He’s learning to be happy in his own company whilst awake and that it isn’t a crisis to be awake in bed alone.

And very importantly- you are entitled to a rest too! In fact - it’s essential that you rest. Rested mummies are happy mummies. Don’t justify your need for a break to anyone.

My DS is nearly 2, I put him down in his cot. Some days he sleeps sometimes he doesn’t.

Don't listen to your mate. She doesn't know your child, and also what's wrong with a exhausted mother having a rest?! My dd is the same age and is starting to drop naps, she goes in her cot to have a rest otherwise she gets beyond herself around 4pm. Both she and I get a rest and we are a lot happier for it.

I wouldn't, personally- seems like a waste of time for the toddler.

A waste of time? Oh yes because he has so much work to be getting on with?

Having an hour of quiet time, getting a chance to wind down and rest, chatter to himself, relax? Absolutely nothing wrong with that!
My first was completely rubbish at sleeping during the day, right from the start, but he always had quiet time after lunch. As he started looking at books / reading, he would take some books up to bed with him. If he fell asleep, that was a bonus, but if not, he'd at least had an hour of downtime.
Assuming you're playing, talking, engaging, being active with him at other times of the day - enjoy the quiet time!

I do the same, even my 4 year old goes for a lie down for an hour a day and either sleeps or chills in his bed.

If toddler shouted and cried I wouldn’t do it but they are happy and chill out time and rest is good for them-‘as it is for you.

Ignore your judgmental friend

I am currently doing exactly the same with my 2.5 yr olds (twins) . To be honest I had really hoped they would keep napping until easter and we might be out of this hideous lockdown. Miserable, freezing days are hard enough to fill with nothing open or to do. They just sing and chat to themselves.

If he wasn't happy you would know and a bit of quiet time does no one any harm.

My kids would never have tolerated this so I think if you're is happy to have a quiet time make the most of it! I think it's teaching great skills of occupying themselves and enjoying down time which are really important.

I'd keep doing it. My 2yo has started skipping his naps. I just put him down anyway and put a few teddy bears in his cot. Most of the time he sleeps, sometimes he just plays and chats for a bit. When he wants to get up he calls for me. If he stays downstairs he doesn't stop running and jumping around, so even if he doesn't sleep he still really does need some quiet time for a bit to help him get through the afternoon.

My daughter at age 2 and a half stopped her naps when my second child was born. She still went to her for for a rest. She had toys and books in there. She was very content. I could also out her down at night awake and she'd amuse herself before she went to sleep.
Son very similar
And I had a playpen which they went in when I was doing chores so they were safe. Now aged 27 and 25 and both fine.

@YouBoughtMeAWall

I wouldn't, personally- seems like a waste of time for the toddler.

A waste of time? Oh yes because he has so much work to be getting on with?

Yes, learning. Playing, interacting with the world around him, looking at stuff, learning about things... Independent play is one thing, being locked in a cot for an hour with nothing to do so mum can have a break is quite another to my mind.

I suppose it depends if the kid was sleep trained. If so and they've basically been trained that they have to stay in until they're let out, I'm more opposed to it than otherwise.

@TopBants

I wouldn't, personally- seems like a waste of time for the toddler. When age do you plan on drawing the line?

My 2.5 year old just stays awake all day, and I've got a 3 month old to contend with too. It's not that difficult. Then again, my toddler hasn't been in a cot since she was 18 months old, so not sure she'd stay in bed even if I wanted her to!

How is learning to have quiet alone time 'a waste of time'? Much better all round than a child parked in front of the TV so a parent can clean, or work, or take a quick break, or an exhausted mother who gets no breaks at all.

Lovely for you that you find it all so easy, but we're all in different situations, our children are different, and these are pretty unprecedented times.

OP fwiw I've had 3 kids and wish I'd done something similar with my eldest, most people will tell you that their eldest is the least able to self-entertain and this kind of thing is exactly why. So long as the room is safe, and ideally that he has something quiet to play with and knows he can get your attention if he needs, then I'd say go for it.

I don't see a problem if they're not upset. My DNephew (almost 4) has 40min-1hour in bed each afternoon either watching a film or reading books. It has the same effect as a nap, he gets up much happier.

Eurgh I hate this! Why is your friend saying that to you, you're with your toddler how many hours a day? I hate the self sacrifice competition. I'm pretty sure your toddler would shout if he wasn't happy!