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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put my non napping toddler 'down to nap'

92 replies

KaMai · 19/01/2021 14:01

The last few days my 2.5yr old has stopped sleeping at nap time, I'm guessing we're starting to drop the last nap :(
I've still been doing nap time routine and popping him in his cot, leaving the room after about 15 mins when he's settled down and all snuggled up, as ibusually do.
Last 5 days there's been no sleep, I've left him in there an hour merrily chattering or laying down and rolling or resting (I'm spying on the monitor!)
I didn't see the harm as he's content and resting but a chat with a friend today has made me wonder. She said along the lines of 'bit of a cop out just sticking him in his cot for an hour so you can have a rest.
I said she was being a bit harsh, but she said when you're little one drops their nap its just abandoning them the 'shove them in their bed for an hour.' Her children are older with naps being history a few years ago now.
I'm pretty sure there's no harm in seeing if he will sleep, or just having a rest but now my mums basically seconded my friends opinion!
I am I doing the right thing or an I just desperately clinging to nap time?!?

OP posts:

Minky37 · 19/01/2021 17:51

Enforce rest - not test!!!
Although I should have given them a test too- maybe along the lines of ‘how quiet can you be for mummy’??? 😂😂😂

PolarnOPirate · 19/01/2021 18:37

Definitely NBU, everyone deserves a lunch break and that includes SAHMs and toddlers. My 3 yo only naps a couple of times a week now and he spent an hour happily playing with cars and an audiobook in a dark room after lunch today. Gave me a chance to homeschool older son!

Tumbleweed101 · 19/01/2021 18:46

Mine all had quiet time. I used to try to get on with my novel for an hour or so when they napped. When they stopped having a nap they had quiet time instead which involved resting or quiet play in their rooms. Nothing wrong with this so long as the child is happy.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 19/01/2021 18:51

My eldest son never slept during the day after he reached about 3 months old. He did sleep through the night pretty quickly, which I guess was the payoff. But once he was about 9 months old I instituted 'quiet time', when I put him in his cot for about 45 minutes with some soft music playing so we could both have some down time.

He's now 16 and his favourite thing to do in the world is sleep, but that's another story 😂

Original poster

KaMai · 19/01/2021 19:38

I'm quite over whelmed by all the lovely responses.
I like the idea of adding a few more toys and books for him if he doesn't want to sleep, he only has his bear and blanket usually, thank you :)
To cover some of the points mentioned- he is not sleep trained in any way, we co slept till about 15 months and slowly transitioned to own bed, own room and more recently leaving the room after 15 mins to let him fall asleep alone. He's ready for this as doesn't cry or complain that we leave, and we would attend him at once if he did as we always have.
I'm not a SAHM, I work 25 hours a week (wfh at the mo) 4-9pm every weekday, my husband takes over childcare at 3.45pm and does bedtime at 8pm.
We spend the rest of our time together, 7.30 am-3.45pm together playing, reading, making art, going on walks and doing chores together, he's only alone for this one hour a day.
I'm sure he'd soon call or cry if he was unhappy, he always has and we've always been there straight away
Thanks again for so many lovely responses

Although, maybe I could sign him up for mandarin and calculus lessons if this lockdown goes on much longer and the toddler groups aren't back open :p

OP posts:

Scottishskifun · 19/01/2021 19:45

If he was at nursery he would have quiet time/lie down time/nap til 3.
They soon let you know if they aren't happy and actually it's good as a bit of process time.

I think your friend is jealous of you having a hot cup of tea!

FlyingPandas · 19/01/2021 19:48

OP my DM tells me that I helpfully dropped my lunchtime nap just around the time that she was pregnant with my sister and really struggling and really needed that hour’s break in the middle of the day. So she put me in the cot anyway. I wouldn’t sleep, but was perfectly happy, so she’d bung me in for an hour after lunch where I would apparently sing, chat to my stuffed animals and bounce up and down as if I was on a trampoline It at least meant she could sit on the sofa and close her eyes for a short while.

I don’t seem to have been traumatised by this experience and I very much doubt your DC will either!

My three DC always had quiet time, either in their rooms or downstairs with telly or DVD or whatever once their daytime nap went. I think it is a really positive, healthy thing to encourage a child to be happy and secure in their own company for short bursts of time. It does everyone good.

Itsyoouu · 19/01/2021 19:50

My child stopped napping at 2, we just has some quiet time after lunch for an hour or so with books etc

BendingSpoons · 19/01/2021 19:55

My 4.5 yo still has an hour quiet time in her room when at home. She still napped til about 3.5 by which point she was in a bed. For a while she would play and then often end up napping. Now she just plays. It is good for her and good for us.

DS is nearly 2. Sometimes he chats for an hour before falling asleep. If he is happy, I'm happy! Obviously I go to him if he cries or calls out. (And he hasn't been 'sleep trained' in a controlled crying way either.)

lambo88 · 19/01/2021 20:05

I would carry on with naps hun...my little boy is 2.5yrs and still having 1hr30/45 a day from around 12.30/1ish in the afternoon...I follow a lot of sleep nannies etc on Instagram and they all recommend napping until 3yrs and they say some children even carry on when there over 3...they all say some days once there over the age of 3 they may miss a day but then every couple of days still have a nap to catch up on sleep xx

pigandmonkey · 19/01/2021 20:19

I did this up until a few days ago. He would chatter quietly in his cot and I would get him out when he started getting loud. I thought the quiet time was good for him. He started climbing out of his cot and bounding out of his room, clearly thinks quiet time is for chumps, so the toddler bed is being delivered later this week.

FoxgloveBee · 19/01/2021 20:27

Haven't read the thread but no definitely not being unreasonable. Assuming you are playing with him all day (not that you probably have a choice, I remember the 2s very well!!) it will be good for him to have some chill out, quiet time and if he doesn't want it he will let you know.

Ignore your friends "helpful" comments.

Lalanbaba · 19/01/2021 21:37

Ours is 2 years and 2 months and sometimes doesn't nap but still stays in her bedroom.
We changed her cot for a low bed at 18 months so she can get out/in herself.
Also has some toys, books to entertain herself.
Tbh only remember once that she cried distressed and brought her downstairs.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/01/2021 22:26

If he is happy then don’t see the problem

If he was crying screaming etc then no

TheGoogleMum · 19/01/2021 22:42

I've done this before though she usually does nap. I think a bit of quiet time is fine as long as toddler isn't crying!

Ameliablue · 19/01/2021 23:05

Toddlers often struggle initially as they give up naps so an hour quiet time as long as they are content can help to get them to bedtime.

Hooplawho · 19/01/2021 23:14

We still do quiet time after lunch - and dd is 7! She reads or plays in her room happily, I drink tea or get some work done - in these lock down/home school days we all benefit from the break from each other!

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