To put my non napping toddler 'down to nap'

[KaMai]

The last few days my 2.5yr old has stopped sleeping at nap time, I'm guessing we're starting to drop the last nap :(
I've still been doing nap time routine and popping him in his cot, leaving the room after about 15 mins when he's settled down and all snuggled up, as ibusually do.
Last 5 days there's been no sleep, I've left him in there an hour merrily chattering or laying down and rolling or resting (I'm spying on the monitor!)
I didn't see the harm as he's content and resting but a chat with a friend today has made me wonder. She said along the lines of 'bit of a cop out just sticking him in his cot for an hour so you can have a rest.
I said she was being a bit harsh, but she said when you're little one drops their nap its just abandoning them the 'shove them in their bed for an hour.' Her children are older with naps being history a few years ago now.
I'm pretty sure there's no harm in seeing if he will sleep, or just having a rest but now my mums basically seconded my friends opinion!
I am I doing the right thing or an I just desperately clinging to nap time?!?

Thank you ladies, a wonderful wall of reassurance.
You're quite right I can hear he's happy and would go get him at once if he called for me or cried.
I guess we'll keep going until he seems unhappy with the arrangement or learns to climb out the cot in a sleeping bag!!
I'm still going to enjoy my 30 mins of housework and laundry without a toddlers 'help' and my 30 mins sitting on my a**e!
Thank you :)

Yes, learning. Playing, interacting with the world around him, looking at stuff, learning about things.

You mean you don’t let your children do that during the rest of their waking hours? They must be busy all the time? No quiet time? That actually sounds cruelz

Personally, I'd introduce quiet time for the two of you together. Snuggle on the sofa with a blanket and a few books for half an hour. You might find that on some days they drop off for a nap anyway and other days they won't. But it's a bit of chill out time either way.

I do the same thing. Sometimes he does off. Sometimes he babbles and plays. I'll often put a book or a safe toy in there with him. He never sounds distressed. Sometimes he bounces around like he is on a trampoline, those days I give up and bring him downstairs.

@TopBants

I wouldn't, personally- seems like a waste of time for the toddler.

Yes, learning. Playing, interacting with the world around him, looking at stuff, learning about things... Independent play is one thing, being locked in a cot for an hour with nothing to do so mum can have a break is quite another to my mind.

I suppose it depends if the kid was sleep trained. If so and they've basically been trained that they have to stay in until they're let out, I'm more opposed to it than otherwise.

They have about 12 hours a day to do everything you’ve mentioned. Kids in Scandinavian countries
Tend to nap/have day rests in bed and have a much lower rate of ADHD etc. There may be a link there! I would argue a 2.5 year old being stimulated all day long isn’t healthy and kids need down time to chill and for brain development.

I didn’t sleep train my kids and still co sleep with my 2 year old and my 4.3 year old has either a daily nap, or he lies on his bed for an hour and chills. Maybe once a month he comes downstairs after 30min and says he isn’t tired. It’s good for them to learn to chill out and be alone and not constantly be entertained by an adult.

Being locked in a cot... do you seriously think that’s what OP is doing?

I would just leave your lo in the cot so he just unwinds. I can't leave mine as he climbs out of his and if I place him on my bed (bed is very low) then he just walks out and continues with his little adventures. Before he started climbing out the cot, I used to place the iPad and he used to have 15-30 mins of screen time while I hoovered or took a shower (this was just to place him there to keep him safe and out the way not for him to nap). I'm afraid it looks like the end of the naps for you.

I did exactly this with my DS. They often need a rest even if they don't sleep and it's a good way to help them have a chilled out low stimulus bit of a time to get them through to bedtime when the nap is going.

Nothing wrong with it all!
You know he is safe and happy. Enjoy the break. No matter how much you love your children its still nice to have a cup tea in peace or watch tv or whatever it is that you want to do while he is chilling in his cot.

Someone mentioned wasted time above. It is no fun at all for little ones to have to have their days planned out and occupied so they end up with no breathing space.

I'm sure your friend did what she thought was right for herself and her children. And you keep doing whats right for you and yours.

It sounds lovely and relaxing for a 2.5 year old and a nice transition from napping to waking all day. If he was super tired he may even nap if needed, if he is in the routine of having a rest. It wont last forever!

I think your friend and Mum have forgotten what it is like for a 2.5 year old to be on the go all day!

If he's happy chatting away, he's using the time to grow his imagination. He sounds like a happy little guy who doesn't need the sleep but is quite happy to entertain himself, absolutely nothing wrong with it. Kids don't need (or want!) stimulated every waking moment :-)

Just leave a book with him and start calling it "quiet time".

Your friend needs to take a nap and refresh her brain.

|It's perfectly healthy and desirable for your DC to take little rest in the afternopon. If he's happy in his own cot with his own company, that's great training for evening bedtime when he will just settle himself down to sleep.

Once he learns to talk, you can enjoy secretly  eavesdropping on some hilarious  little conversations with himself or to his teddy.

I did this with DS when he dropped his nap, with varying success!
I think it's a great idea, if you can make it work (ie. your DS is happy with it) Modern life can be bit full on, with constant interaction and entertainment and noise and screens etc etc. It'd be great to teach him to have some time alone to amuse himself. A bit of down time after lunch is quite normal and healthy, I think.

Seems fine to me as long as they are happy. 2.5 seems a very common age to drop the nap, so you are probably doomed if you think it is going to encourage them to take that up again. I wouldn't have with my dc as I would be afraid they would sleep and then never want to go to bed as they are too well rested. I value my evening grown up time much more than day time!

Youboughtmeawall spot on haha!!

I agree with twinklemerrick, you know your own child. Trust your judgement.

@YouBoughtMeAWall

I wouldn't, personally- seems like a waste of time for the toddler.

A waste of time? Oh yes because he has so much work to be getting on with?

I don't see a problem with it. I think a bit of quiet time is good for them. My DD (same age) dropped her nap recently and we would leave her for some quiet time in her room for an hour if she sat and played/read her books, etc. She tends to trash the room or jump on the bed though so we don't bother and she just goes to bed a bit earlier now.

@sandieshaw

Personally, I'd introduce quiet time for the two of you together. Snuggle on the sofa with a blanket and a few books for half an hour. You might find that on some days they drop off for a nap anyway and other days they won't. But it's a bit of chill out time either way.

But why?! you know, god forbid a woman have an hour for herself to scroll through MN, read a mag or watch telly in leave without a kid hanging off her hip! Op, I would do the same as you. He’s happy and will let you know when he isn’t. Enjoy the peace before he masters the art of escape

It isn't just about you having down time, it is about them having down time too. If you want to test that theory, don't do it for one day and see what happens come bedtime - mayhem!

We did this with DD. She was perfectly happy and contrary to popular opinion, your toddler doesn't need to be entertained by a parent every waking moment. Allowing them time to rest and unwind is good for them too.

@TopBants - how smug. Just because you want to play the martyr. No one should feel guilty for allowing their child to amuse themselves whilst they have an hour's break.

Think it sounds like a good idea to me, means he has the chance of falling asleep if he needs to - which at 2.5 he might if he's had a disturbed night or a particularly energetic morning (lockdown notwithstanding of course!) and even if not, a bit of quiet time is likely a good transition to no nap, otherwise you could have a very grumpy dictator on your hands by dinner time! You've said you'd go to him if he was upset so can't really see what purpose your friends comments serve? Think it says more about her than you!

I wish mine would go and have some quiet time or just sit still for more than 48 seconds. She would have spent her time trying to work out how to escape.

My almost two year old doesn't nap anymore and I miss it so much. She would scream murder if I tried to leave her in her cot for an hour. Your child is obviously content in his cot and in my opinion it will do him good to have some quiet time. Enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

I do this with my toddler every day!!! We both need an hour of quiet, and she loves a bit of chill out time with her teddies. Your friend needs to keep her competitive parenting to herself

If he's happy, why not. My little one does nap, but wakes up and often stays in his cot singing, chatting, rolling about. When he calls me, or is in distress, I go to him. My older daughter napped until she was 3.5. She then just 'had a rest'. It did us all good. Maybe she's a little jealous you get to have a bit of a break? You know your child. Do what's right for you. All the best.