To not expect neighbour to use washing machine overnight

[BornInTheWrongCentury]

Just that really. Over the last couple of months our neighbours started using their washing machine/tumble dryer overnight, it was going on on at about midnight and stays on till around 3am.

My husband asked a them politely a few weeks ago when he saw them outside if they’d mind changing the time they have it on as it really disturbs us. We’re in a mid terraced house and they are the end of the terrace. Their kitchen is below our bedroom. The previous occupants took out a wall in their kitchen that separated the kitchen from their hallway so it’s open planned now so all sound from their house is amplified now anyway and noise seems to travel up the wall into our bedroom.

After my husband mentioned it to them they stopped for a couple of weeks but now the noise has started again as they are putting a wash on at about 10pm and it finishes at 1am.

It’s really upsetting me that I can’t go to bed and read/fall asleep in peace until at least 1am now.

If it’s relevant we own our house and their house is social housing. They are the end of the terrace so if I complain to the council or their housing association they will know it’s me. They are the kind of couple who seem ok as long as you’re on the right side of them but they are rather loud and look very intimidating and to be honest I don’t want to make things worse or get into an argument with them.

They are pretty good neighbours apart from this issue as in the only other noise we hear is their children (they have very screechy, door slamming children but I can cope with that during the day!) They don’t have parties or play thumping music - it’s just the issue with not being able to go to sleep when I want to. I don’t know if I’m just being over sensitive where I so tired.

What would you do?

YABU - just be grateful it’s nothing worse than a washing machine and try to ignore it/go to bed later when you know you’ll fall straight to sleep

YANBU - be brave and speak to them again asking them to not use after 11pm and complain to the council if they refuse?

I don’t know if this has been said by PP as (apologies) I haven’t read the whole thread. But I’ve read quite a few pages and people mentioning the cost of running machines at different times of day... can I also add to that the current COVID/school closure situation?! No idea what your work/childcare situation is (or theirs) but I have no idea how everyone is managing to stay on top of cleaning and laundry while also homeschooling and wfh. Appreciate that it’s really fortunate to be able to wfh, but with my whole family at home all day the wear and tear on the place is awful and the laundry is something I can get on with in the evening/late at night unlike, say, hovering... so I am running the machine much later than I normally would largely for that reason. If they changed their pattern for a couple of weeks but have recently started washing late at night again it could be to do with the logistics forced on us all by COVID?!

Wow this thread has certainly shown how divided opinion is on this subject!

Reading some of the responses here has made me realise how lucky I am compared to some of you who have it much worse (and how lucky I am not to live next to some of you who sound like you’d be absolute nightmares to live next door to!)

Last night I tried listening to white noise, I didn’t like it at all as it didn’t drown out the noise and felt like it was just adding another layer of noise. I don’t really like headphones, they irritate after a while so I’m not sure how I’d get on with earplugs all night. I’ve been looking online but there are so many to choose from and I’m not in a position to waste money on trying different ones. I’m also worried about sleeping through the alarm/not hearing ds during the night if he gets up needing the toilet or feels unwell.

I have convinced dh to turn our bed around tomorrow for a couple of nights so our feet are against the wall as I’m absolutely exhausted and really do need to sleep. The anticipation of knowing I won’t sleep now is stressing me out so much. The room will look very weird and we’ll have to climb over things to get into bed but I don’t care. He’s a bit huffy about it as the noise doesn’t bother him as much as me now it finishes earlier because he’s off work and quite happy to sit and watch a film downstairs till 1am and then go to bed. I am normally exhausted by 11pm (ongoing autoimmune & hormone issues)
I told him It’s either that or I will have to start sleeping downstairs on the sofa and he’ll have to go up and listen to the noise droning away and try to get sleep like I do. He will also have to deal with me being grumpy and tired constantly too.

We are home at the moment due to the pandemic but will both be going back to work once the schools open again so I will try to cope with the situation until then as at least I will have the excuse then that we’d really like them to finish by 11pm as we need to get to bed at an earlier time.

If I see either of them outside in the meantime and have the opportunity to mention it in a friendly way I will, but I genuinely am so tired, and due to tiredness feeling really emotional at the moment I don’t think I’d cope well if they were to respond to me in the way some of you have. I would literally end up a sobbing anxious mess and it would stress me out even more.

I can honestly say that I am really surprised and disappointed in some of the attitudes on here. I could understand being told I’m over reacting because I’m tired but I genuinely can’t understand how anyone could be so selfish to know they are causing someone sleep deprivation or stress and not care at all. So many of you have such an I don’t care about anyone else but myself attitude. It’s so sad

On the other hand lots and lots of you have been so lovely, and helpful, and it’s so nice to know that there are so many lovely, kind, considerate people out there too!

I feel for you. YANBU, however, it's just one of those things about living in a terraced house.

It would greatly upset me too, I think I have an element of autism where persistent invoking of any of my five senses greatly irritates me...., well enough about me, I'd buy 2 bottles of wine, arrive on their doorstep, (with DH for backup and security), and open up the topic on a very friendly footing. -As, they do sound reasonable, it may work! .

I always put my washing machine during the night and sleep through it.
I’m so surprised that you even mentioned it to your neighbours TBH. I understand you’re trying your luck here but it’s unreasonable to tell them when to use their appliances. Maybe that’s the only time where she finds time to load it after the kids are in bed? Maybe they just unload it in the morning as part of their routine?
It must be incredibly loud though for you to have sleep disturbance over it. Does your DH have the same annoyance at it or is it maybe an overreaction (quite natural) of something that annoys you?

YANBU. They really can’t wash before 10pm?! Come on! The responses on here 🙄🙄🙄
Why should you get earplugs?! Washing all hours when living in close proximity is not on.

I honestly wouldn’t mind this but I have a baby and toddler so I’m used to white noise machines which are far more intrusive .

I do run my machine at night sometimes, it’s honestly the only way I can get through the mountain of laundry at times.

I can't believe the amount of people who run their machines and go to bed. A close friends machine went on fire, thank God it was during the day and she was able to get a fire extinguisher on it on tine but it destroyed a good part of her kitchen. I wouldn't even let a cycle go on for an hour after I go to bed, so unbelievably dangerous and irresponsible.

OP I feel for you too, I've had neighbours similar, not bad enough to warrant a council, but everything they did (the husband was an insomniac) was heard at 2am, all through the night.
We now live on a detached house, and it's heaven not having to hear him running up and down stairs, slamming doors and pissing every single night.

if its persistent noise effecting your right to quiet of enjoyment you caan get a noise abatement order

Two things really, one is that my old upstairs neighbours did this and (perhaps due to the vibrations) it was actually noisier than when I ran my own washing machine! I had never experienced it before moving to a flat, so immediately stopped doing my washing late at night as I realised it would annoy my downstairs neighbours. Second comment was re: earplugs. I struggle wearing headphones for long as it hurts my ears, but got a pack of soft disposable foam earplugs from Boots (£2-£3 ish) and they are great. At first my ears got a bit sore so I had to alternate nights wearing and not wearing them, but I got used to them and use them most nights now. DD can still wake me up if she needs me in the night, but I am no longer woken by her every squeak! NB the earplugs say ‘disposable’ but tbh I use them for weeks before they eventually get chucked!

@Vinomummyinlockdown

YANBU. They really can’t wash before 10pm?! Come on! The responses on here 🙄🙄🙄 Why should you get earplugs?! Washing all hours when living in close proximity is not on.

Why should you wear earplugs?

Why shouldn't the neighbors have the right to decide when to do things in their own home?

It’s now 10.30 and it’s rumbling away again

I always believed that between the hours of 11pm to 7am any noise was supposed to be kept to a minimum. That would mean no hoovering/washing machines/music/loud tv/being quiet and considerate outside etc. This was how I was brought up and I have always taught my dc to be respectful in that sense too (not that they are up that late anyway but by playing considerately/not screeching in the garden or banging about in their bedrooms etc)

My friends and my dm think my neighbours are in the wrong by running a noisy machine so late at night. Of course they love me and don’t want to see me tired and miserable so are more likely to see it from my point of view (which is why I posted here for some unbiased opinions!) they all said they wouldn’t dream of running their washing machines at night because of the noise and none of their neighbours do it either.

As I said previously personally I would hate to feel I was disturbing someone’s sleep whether it was during the night or day. I know and completely understand not everyone has a 9-5 job but surely we all need to be considerate of each other’s wellbeing.

I admit I don’t know my neighbours well enough to know why they want to use their machine at night but some of the responses on here have helped me see that there might be financial reasons for it. If that’s the case then I feel for them, it is hard for so many people at the moment, but I really hope it won’t always be like this.

I also do understand that due to the way many people seem to have such differing opinions to mine that ultimately I may have to compromise here too.

I've just checked the bye-laws where I live: basically you can run nothing unless it's for heating/cooling after 8.00.!!!

I run my washing machine/dishwasher after 10.00. for the cheap leccy, and no-one's complained yet. I live in a detached house but it's made of wood, and they are like sounding boards for some noise.

As another poster has said, I only run these when I'm awake, a significant fire risk otherwise.

OP - You are definitely not being unreasonable. Your neighbours are showing a complete & utter lack of consideration having their machine/dryer on at those times.
I feel your pain.
I live in social housing duplex flat & neighbours above me have 2 children - the most ignorant noisy family you could ever wish to meet, couldn’t care less about anyone else. You know when they are in as it’s constant - thudding, thumping, shouting - they don’t seem to have the ability to speak, only shout. Washing machine & tumble dryer above my sitting room on early in morning, most of day & late at night - I hear it 2 floors below. I have tried speaking to them - useless !! I also tried speaking to social housing officer - waste of time.
Good luck, sounds like you’ll need it.
For the ignorant posters telling you that YABU & yo buy earplugs, along with those saying it’s maybe because they have economy 7 - tough, have respect for your neighbours.

@Oceanwaves2018 They sound absolutely awful

I'm sorry this must be infuriating but YABU, they can put the washing machine on whenever they like. It's cheaper at night and if they're anything like us it practically needs to be on 24 hours a day. You're going to get this in terraces, is there nothing that could be done to improve soundproofing?

It's 10:50pm here and my washer, dryer and dish washer are on 😑

They'll be finished around midnight when DP comes to bed.

Our dishwasher is on late as we fill it throughout the day and put it on after my supper at around 9. If we leave it overnight it stinks. Tonight we were later than usual putting it on right enough.

Dryer is on as DP needs work stuff for tomorrow after getting drenched today, it was washed when he got home around 7pm then put into dryer.

Washing machine is on because DC spilt milk all over her bedding going to bed.

Things happen. Life doesn't follow a quiet time. I wash and dry things when they need done, and I'd expect my neighbours to do the same. Only thing I don't do is hoover past 9pm, or dry my hair upstairs as our bedroom butts up to the neighbours room... But I will go downstairs and dry my hair there.

@TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine thank you for the recommendation. I will pick some up next time I’m near a Boots. Some of the earplugs I’ve been looking at online are really expensive but as earplugs are one of the things you can’t really try before you buy I’ll start with the cheaper options and see how I get on. Thank you

This would annoy the hell out of me and they are taking the mick knowing that you’ve already asked them BUT you can’t really do much about it 😞

If they are otherwise good neighbors, buy earplugs. The wax kind are incredibly comfortable. Thankfully, I have very good neighbors, as I go to bed at 7AM, read an hour, then get up again around 5 PM. Everything I do is late at night. I do try to be quiet, but I cannot live an utterly silent life.

If you do decide to eventually go for super expensive earplugs, the ones I would suggest are the Bose Sleep Pods. I have a pair that were a birthday present a couple of years ago (shortly after moving to the flat and when I was desperate for sleep!) There is a 30 day trial period during which you can return them if you don’t like them. They really do work like nothing else, BUT, I fine if I wear them more than about twice a week my ears start to really hurt. I use them probably about once a month now, when the neighbours are really pulling all the stops out noise-wise, but the disposable ones I mentioned are good the rest of the time. I could not have afforded the Bose ones myself!!

Could you ask them to put - or even provide - a vibration absorbing mat down? When I moved into my place I bought a mat because the noise on the floor was unreal. It's a hell of a lot better with the vibrations now! You might still hear the spinning but it's worth a shot?

I got mine from screwfix.

Yanbu, who does laundry at night in a terraced house, how incredibly selfish.

That said sounds like they are right wankers so complaining to council might not be the best thing. If they won’t be reasonable Maybe look into sound insulation on your side.

Good luck OP.

@Skysblue

Yanbu, who does laundry at night in a terraced house, how incredibly selfish.

That said sounds like they are right wankers so complaining to council might not be the best thing. If they won’t be reasonable Maybe look into sound insulation on your side.

Good luck OP.

Shift workers?

I don't know really. If I heard my neighbours at that time, it would be barely audible, but I appreciate in some properties it carries further.

As a rule, I wouldn't have the spin on past 9pm unless it was an emergency (eg baby spewing on bed and no clean bedding). Normally I would avoid washing at night though.

If it regularly went on at that time I can see how it would be annoying. It just depends how loud it is in your property really.