He said me walking slow is annoying

[Magicra84]

I've been seeing someone for about a month. All has been great but while out walking he said me walking slowly is annoying. He loves walking and the great outdoors. I can't walk quickly due to iron deficient anemia which takes my breath away if I walk quickly. Hills are a particular struggle. He knows I'm anemic. AIBU to be slightly upset by his comment?

He knows I'm anemic. AIBU to be slightly upset by his comment?
Well then hes being a prick. Dont entertain him another second

Walking does need to be at your own pace I find.

Sounds like a dickhead. Move on x (albeit more slowly than you would like to I'm sure)

Does he know that's how you anemia affects you? Is it obvious you're struggling fir breath?

If either one of those is yes, stop seeing him. If he's like that a month in I guarantee you would prove to be a selfish, thoughtless, me-twat.

Disappointing, but goid to weed them out early!!

I don't know. It depends what he does about his annoyed ness. It probably is annoying, maybe he needs a different walking companion sometimes. Provided he's being kind about it, it's not wrong for him to say how he feels.

He was insensitive and I'd expect him to try a bit harder at this stage. But walking slower than your normal pace is annoying.

This kind of thing needs compromise. My partner walks faster than me and can go for longer. So sometimes he takes himself off for massive walks with a flask of tea for the day. If we're together we cap it at 6-8 miles and he walks at my pace because we love each other and want to talk.

Same for cycling. I like to cycle maybe 10 miles for a wee pootle. If he wants to zoom off for the day on a 60 mile cycle that's one for him on his own.

I have little stumpy legs and I'm not as fit as he is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whingeing about your pace of walking isn't kind and isn't attractive.

I agree it is annoying, it can actually be as difficult to walk slowly as it is for slow walkers to walk fast.

I would also be talking to my GP about sorting out the anaemia. Are your ferritin levels low - I know people who've had iron infusions to sort it out.

I understand why this would be hurtful. I’m not sure everyone would connect anaemia with limitations around exercise etc though, so it probably wasn’t a malicious comment. I’m like a brisk walk so I understand why he’d mention it!

Are you being treated for the anaemia?

My dh is 6’6 and I’m 5’3, We love going for long walks together but as his legs are so much longer than mine he can walk so much faster than me. He never ever complains and he walks at my pace (I couldn’t go any faster if I tried) as it’s a nice activity that we enjoy doing together. You’ve been with this guy for a month and he’s already been insensitive about this- not a great sign.

Dump before you get attached. He doesn't give a shit about your welfare and actually dares to get annoyed by the fact you aren't trotting along admiring his manly pace on the muddy bits.

He’s being very insensitive unless there’s a big back story where you insist on going on all walks? He can go on his own if he needs more speed. If you elect to walk together you go at level of the least able.

How are you managing your anaemia? I am badly anaemic but can usually manage it well enough that it doesn’t impact on daily life and others. I think you can also train yourself to walk faster if you want to - I’m short and DP is tall so he has a longer stride than me.

@Notimeforaname

He knows I'm anemic. AIBU to be slightly upset by his comment? Well then hes being a prick. Dont entertain him another second

I wouldn't be seeing him again.

I’d be ditching him.

I walk quickly. If I’m walking with someone else, I walk at their pace. It’s antisocial not to.

If he knows how the anaemia limits you when walking, then he’s being a selfish prick and I’d say that’s a big warning sign tbh! If he enjoys your company, he’ll slow down.

This at one month in, what else is he going to find annoying if your relationship progresses? He sounds at best, lacking in social awareness, at worst, a selfish prick. I’d be telling him to walk at pace out the door and to keep going.

Ditch him.

Does he do (any)things you like?
Is he nice but a bit thick & doesn't understand this is not a choice for you?
I'm trying to think you could reply "Well it's not something I like either!" and still salvage a nice relationship.
But I'm probably being way too optimistic.

YANBU.
If he has any respect and/or affection for you, he needs to learn to stroll at your pace, and do separate brisk walks without you.

I have a dodgy hip. Surgeon said only ever walk at my own pace.

He can make the comment but also try to resolve the issue. My tall DH walks alone...when we used to walk together, he was ok stopping. Lots of walkers aren't...

Before you dump him, have you said the iron deficiency means your walking speed is slow? You may have told him you're anaemic but he may not have linked the two things.

Oh to be fair to him, does he actually realise that you can’t walk any faster? He may not be aware that anaemia has that side effect...

Well it's not a good sign if he's saying that kind of stuff one month in!

I would hate that and wouldn’t see him again.

I had an ex who always walked ahead of me and I would never put up with it again.