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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend and Facebook 'car crash'

128 replies

LizzleTizzle · 15/01/2021 22:05

Just had to get opinions on friend's facebook behaviour.

So yesterday a friend 'crashed her car' in the snow. It wasn't a crash just a car had slid forward slightly into her car. No damage whatsoever. What is strange is that her first thought (with two children in the car) is to take a picture to post on facebook.

No phoning to ask a friend for help, no sorting anything out. Just literally sat on facebook waiting for the comments to come in.

Even after offers of help, she waited and waited in the freezing cold until I eventually sent DH to go and rescue her.

Even after the event, when he had pulled all her stuff home, she was still playing the drama out on facebook.

Urgh...I just had to rant.

Why does she do this? The posts are constant...my kitchen's flooded (picture of kitchen filled with water), my child is ill (picture of crying, ill child), I've lost £50 out of my pocket, etc,etc

OP posts:
BloggersBlog · 16/01/2021 10:25

I just find it annoying how it is now the law that you cant use the unfollow, snooze or delete my account buttons on FB. You HAVE to see every post and read every comment, we have no choice.

Oh, wait a minute...

SchrodingersImmigrant · 16/01/2021 10:27

You misunderstood. She didn't really want a help. If she gets help the drama and the attention ends.
I had one like this and because I have no time for this bullshit, I unfriended. On facebook and in real life.

GingerNorthernLass · 16/01/2021 10:27

So you feed into the drama by running to her rescue? Hmm

Next time, ignore her and/or delete Facebook. You will be much happier.

LadyDanbury · 16/01/2021 10:34

Wow. Some really pissy replies on here. Why are people saying it's a pot / kettle situation? At no point did the OP say that she posted about it on FB, so to make that assumption is ridiculous. Posting here is not the same.

OP - defriend this FB attention seeker. Also ignore the harpies here and life will be much more pleasant.

Whattodo1610 · 16/01/2021 10:38

She clearly didn’t want, or need help OP ..... just drama.

You made it worse by sending your dh to ‘rescue’ her .... WHY?

Now you’re on here whinging about it all .... you’re just as bad as her. Honestly.

LadyDanbury · 16/01/2021 10:42

Going to see what was going on was probably more for the sake of the children who were stuck with this woman, not enabling. If I were the OP I'd have gone to help just because the kids were being affected by their mother's incompetence, not to feed the mother's drama.

Clarice99 · 16/01/2021 10:48

[quote LizzleTizzle]@LIZS even if I didn't react, it's just so irritating seeing all the 'awww hope you're ok hunni' responses Hmm[/quote]
Do you have to read what she posts? Can't you turn off notifications?

I've never had a facebook account and have no desire to, particularly when I read threads on Mumsnet where people are moaning about what they've read, it reinforces my decision not to open an account.

DdraigGoch · 16/01/2021 10:54

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Block her! My adult dd had to after her friend posted that she had a flat tyre on a major road. Pics of tyre, pics of car, pics of passing traffic. Apparently my dd was supposed to deduce from this that she was to send her tyre fitter boyfriend to rescue her. After a couple of hours she started being tagged as a useless friend, no one had helped her etc. Maybe actually asking someone directly for help. Or, you know, phoning your Dad like we used to in the last century (although tbf back in the last century someone would have stopped and offered help) would have saved hours of waiting
Or of course she could have changed the tyre herself. It is the 21st Century after all now, no need to wait for a man to perform a perfectly straightforward task.
BigBadVoodooHat · 16/01/2021 10:55

[quote LizzleTizzle]@Fatherbrownsbicycle because we live nearby and the way the comments were going, it didn't seem like she was doing anything.[/quote]
And? You know she's an attention-seeking drama vampire, so why feed it? Hmm

Regularsizedrudy · 16/01/2021 10:56

But you pander to her though. Just delete her.

StripeyDeckchair · 16/01/2021 10:58

She does it because people like you will sort it out for her while she posts updates on FB.
Just mute her posts so that you don't see them and leave her to get on with it.

midnightstar66 · 16/01/2021 10:59

Or of course she could have changed the tyre herself. It is the 21st Century after all now, no need to wait for a man to perform a perfectly straightforward task.

I'm afraid I'd not be getting out by a busy road to change a wheel in the cold. That's what I pay a breakdown service for where they can come with their van complete with flashing warning lights. Garages frequently tighten bolts too much for most people to remove by hand anyway. The breakdown service has a powered device.

BooksAreNotEssentialInWales · 16/01/2021 10:59

This is exactly what the minute button is for!

Suzi888 · 16/01/2021 11:00

Because that’s what Facebook is for. “Look at me” “Look at me”Hmm it’s either bragging about new cars, holidays, nights out etc or woe is me, my life is crap.
Some people may use it to keep in touch with family/friends I suppose, but I think it’s rare.

BooksAreNotEssentialInWales · 16/01/2021 11:00

Mute not minute.

mumnowformerrockstar · 16/01/2021 11:01

You probably should have just let her get on with it op.

Folklore9074 · 16/01/2021 11:04

[quote LizzleTizzle]@LIZS even if I didn't react, it's just so irritating seeing all the 'awww hope you're ok hunni' responses Hmm[/quote]
It's only irritating if you are on Facebook all the time... maybe less time on there yourself = less to be irritated by?

CrotchBurn · 16/01/2021 11:09

OP has vacated the premises!

lazyarse123 · 16/01/2021 11:12

Drama llama.
The ones I can't stand are happy heavenly birthdays. I have a lovely friend who does this I have learnt to scroll past.

MintyMabel · 16/01/2021 11:13

When I see a fb real time dramatisation unfolding, I roll my eyes and scroll on.

Same thing on here. You can tell the ones which are going to run and run. “I’m going to call him after lunch” “I sent this text, waiting for a response” Nauseating.

MintyMabel · 16/01/2021 11:14

The ones I can't stand are happy heavenly birthdays. I have a lovely friend who does this I have learnt to scroll past.

Because you don’t think people should grieve in their own way?

ilhahih · 16/01/2021 11:14

I don't understand this at all.
If the car wasn't damaged, why didn't she just drive home.
And if it was damaged why didn't she call out a rescue service to get the car taken to a garage. Normally they organize to get you home anyway but if they hadn't done, she could have phoned a taxi or phoned a specific friend to pick her up.

You say your husband "pulled all her stuff home". What does this mean? How did she get home? Did he take her home? Where is her car?
It's all very strange.

If you knew she was a drama llama who regularly creates drama on facebook why did you send your DH to pick her up?

pictish · 16/01/2021 11:17

Oh yes...threads which are played out in real time. The author dropping perfectly timed open-ended instalments in here and there, just to keep the crowd happy. They can go for days if they’re really good.

Rhiannon13 · 16/01/2021 11:29

even if I didn't react, it's just so irritating seeing all the 'awww hope you're ok hunni' responses

...which is why the 'unfollow' option is there. Or do you secretly enjoy judging her behaviour OP?

WorraLiberty · 16/01/2021 11:35

@MintyMabel

When I see a fb real time dramatisation unfolding, I roll my eyes and scroll on.

Same thing on here. You can tell the ones which are going to run and run. “I’m going to call him after lunch” “I sent this text, waiting for a response” Nauseating.

OMG yes. They're always the same on here with 'reason' they can't simply call straight away.

The only thing more nauseating than the attention seeking OPs, are the fangirls screaming "UPDATE PLEASE OP!" 🙄