Friend and Facebook 'car crash'

[LizzleTizzle]

Just had to get opinions on friend's facebook behaviour.

So yesterday a friend 'crashed her car' in the snow. It wasn't a crash just a car had slid forward slightly into her car. No damage whatsoever. What is strange is that her first thought (with two children in the car) is to take a picture to post on facebook.

No phoning to ask a friend for help, no sorting anything out. Just literally sat on facebook waiting for the comments to come in.

Even after offers of help, she waited and waited in the freezing cold until I eventually sent DH to go and rescue her.

Even after the event, when he had pulled all her stuff home, she was still playing the drama out on facebook.

Urgh...I just had to rant.

Why does she do this? The posts are constant...my kitchen's flooded (picture of kitchen filled with water), my child is ill (picture of crying, ill child), I've lost £50 out of my pocket, etc,etc

The ones which irritate me the most are the one when someone posts something along the lines of: “I just can’t take any more.” Followed by the inevitable stream of “you ok hon/hugs/holding your hand/what’s wrong?” Posts, followed then by “I really don’t want to talk about it. Then don’t bloody post about it all over social media....

I do ignore them fwiw.

Although, a family member of my DP’s once posted on fb: “ambulance!!!! 😭.”

Now, it hadn’t been long since her dad had had a stroke and had been discharged from hospital, so some people naturally assumed that her dad had been taken into hospital, until she pointed out that it was the television series she was talking about. I did point out at that point that it wasn’t surprising that people had formed the conclusions they had and she went absolutely belistic. So I just unfriended her after that.

I don’t bother with the unfollow button, I unfriend without guilt, I don’t need to create a pretence of still being friends when I clearly have no intentions of interacting.

I have two friends, both of whom write gushing posts about every achievement of their children. I'm not a mean person, I'm happy for them and their kids but I find their FB posts a bit cringeful. One example being a montage of a photo of their school report (sufficiently near to be able to read it), an artistic photo of the badge in question and a photo of their child holding up the badge outside the school reception.

Similarly for a (minor) accident, set of pictures in A&E with a sad face, when ill, pictures of them looking sad in bed. If any of it came up in conversation, I'd say very well done or sorry to hear about X but I found it all a bit embarrassing and intrusive and I started to feel bad thinking about my nice friends in a negative way.

So I just unfriended them on FB (muting stories might have been a more tactful solution). Problem solved and I'm back to enjoying them as friends.

I also dislike the "I've had the day from hell" posts followed by "pm me". For me, that's when you text or call your friends for support if you need it, not the slightly random list of friends and ex colleagues on FB.

It boils down to how you see FB. For me, it's a light hearted way of keeping in touch with friends and I enjoy seeing photos of their kids as I don't get to see them that often. As a result, I don't enjoy political diatribes or drama llamas. But in fairness, that's my problem not theirs and they're perfectly entitled to use FB in whatever way they choose.

@custardbear

If the car was ok why didn't she just drive herself home?

And why send her husband?

If one of my friends was stranded nearby it would be me going to see if I could help them.

It strikes me that a drama queen friend would absolutely delight in flirting with her male "rescuer".

As others have said - she acts out to get a reaction. No reaction = no acting out. And if others react, they can get involved, not you.

This thread is quite 'pot calling the kettle black'

Lonely. Some people have close friends on fb, not randoms. But yes, if you find yourself looking at a post thinking 'why would x tell me that?' Unfriend them? It's fairly straight forward if you don't want to be involved. Don't unless I'm missing something.

Unfollow. Simple.

I closed my Facebook account for this reason, it was making me irrationally cross every day! If you want to stay on it, unfollow her. I don't think you can say anything without falling out. Unless the attention seeking is indicative of an issue she has, you could try gently asking.

Anyone else suspect the OP LOVED posting in the comments section

“My DH is on his way!!”

And then asked her DH to send multiple photos of him turning up etc so that she could post them.

What a weird thread. So let me get this straight. Friend has a minor accident where there is no damage to car? She posts on social media before checking her children are ok (how do you know this)
She sits in her car in the cold. Why if it’s undamaged?
You send your husband to rescue her. What rescuing did she need? Her car is undamaged? Why didn’t you call her and ask her what she needed? Why didn’t you go rescue her?

She sounds a bit needy, but then so do you OP.
I hope you are OK?

I have a friend who's (old) car was written off several years ago in a v minor bump.

At least once a year there's a memorial post for the car and she makes a big deal about the 'anniversary' of it's 'death' every year too

@Sethy38

Anyone else suspect the OP LOVED posting in the comments section

“My DH is on his way!!”

And then asked her DH to send multiple photos of him turning up etc so that she could post them.

You’ve hit the nail on the head!

OPs post:
My wonderful husband just rescued a friend after she had a car accident with her kids in the car! My hero!

Why send your DH if she could just drive the car back? Your just as bad as her. I’d of told her to get a grip.

Just unfollow/mute her OP. Then you don't have to see her irritating posts.

I'm also confused why she needed help if her car was undamaged, but I'm also oddly invested in this drama.

She acts out on FB. You rant on MN. Not much difference really. You both get the validation you are looking for, her from acquaintances, you from strangers. We all need some level of attention and support and find our own ways of getting what we need.

And as for posting about waiting in A&E - it can often be a long and very worrying time so posting on SM seems an excellent way of occupying yourself.

If you think posting on Facebook for her is more important than trying to resolve an accident or fault, then is there an issue with how her children are treated? Could they be mildly being neglected? Has she got mental health issues?

If none of those apply, suggest you stop following her, or even better, stop using Facebook altogether.

Why did she need help? Sounds like it was a small bump, no damage. Couldnt she just have driven off as normal?

I do agree op but I would of sent a message to say let me know if you need help and got on with my day . It’s not my job to worry how she’s getting home . If the car had no damage she can drive home if she wants to sit in the coldest day of the year that’s her look out . I’m assuming she’s a adult ? Then she’s capable of deciding what to do you didn’t need to send your dh unless she requested it . Even if was damaged insurance/ breakdown cover ? . My car was hit once ( parked) I still drove it home .

Doesn't anybody have breakdown cover and should fucking call roadside assistance and their insurer?

[Is old]

So the car was out of action and your DH drives a tow truck?

AldiIsla why a 'Sam Smith ' please?
Also confused about what help this woman needed. As far as RTCS go this is probably the least serious possible, why didnt she just check eveyone okay and continue her journey?

Just bloke and ignore her fgs!

Always think there is something lacking in peoples live when they are like this.
Same as people who "check in to causality " then just wait for people to ask if there ok.
Whilst irritate me seeing post like this get great pleasure ignoring them as they are desperate for attention.