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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this rude comment was unwarranted? (Supermarket rage!)

326 replies

CrossFitAddict · 15/01/2021 17:07

Just popped to the supermarket for a few bits and on exiting the checkouts I come out behind an elderly lady with another woman walking with her side by side (probably her daughter). It’s about 50ft to the exit and the elderly lady is walking extremely slowly holding onto a trolley (no problem with her at all), the other woman with her is walking at the same pace and blocking the walkway (she was rather large) so there’s a queue of us behind them.

As the area widened I walked quickly around them, a good distance from the elderly lady, and sped up to the entrance hearing the other woman shout loudly ‘some people can’t wait for other people can they’. I turned as I heard her (as did everyone else) and wanted to say that she should have moved to the side and walked single file behind the older lady if she had any manners but didn’t bother and just shook my head.

AIBU to think that if you’re walking with a slow moving person, you should move to the side rather than hold up everyone else and then take umbrage if someone overtakes you Angry.

OP posts:
Arobase · 15/01/2021 19:57

OP wasn’t being patient, she didn’t pass because she couldn’t pass this slow old lady and fat helper, how dare they hold her up. I’ve met the OP types before. Fooling no-one with their “I just walk fast, that’s why I scooted past the minute there was space” (which I’d put money on wasn’t 2 m either.) There is a way of doing so politely and thankfully the vast majority of people do. There is always an OP though.

Could you explain this, @MintyMabel? If you had been in the position of the old lady and her helper, how would her passing you when there was room to pass affect you or hurt you at all? It's not as if she pushed past or demanded that the other two customers got out of her way.

In pre-lockdown and pre-pandemic days, I travelled regularly on public transport where some people will inevitably be in a hurry to catch trains and buses and may have to rush past other people. It never once occurred to me that people who did that were being rude or that I should complain about them.

Arobase · 15/01/2021 19:58

*You were rude and impatient."

How does walking past someone in a supermarket when there is space to do so amount to being rude, @ExclamationPerfume?

MintyMabel · 15/01/2021 20:03

If you had been in the position of the old lady and her helper, how would her passing you when there was room to pass affect you or hurt you at all? It's not as if she pushed past or demanded that the other two customers got out of her way.

It is the way it's done. Most do it in a really discreet way, we barely notice. But every once in a while you come across an OP, who do it the second there is space. And despite there being a whole bunch of people, they are the only one who has rushed ahead, they rarely are leaving the kind of space OP thinks she did. After eight or so years of walking with DD you get to the point where you can tell the difference. DD hates to feel she has held people up, it makes her feel like she is inferior.

Train/bus stations are generally a bit of a different animal as half the people there are rushing to catch a train/bus. Not so much in the supermarket.

Catty1720 · 15/01/2021 20:06

Maybe she was walking next to her as she clearly struggle to walk??

BogRollBOGOF · 15/01/2021 20:07

MintyMabel likes to see the worst in an OP and add a layer of extra drama to the OP's account.

UrAWizHarry · 15/01/2021 20:08

@MintyMabel

If you had been in the position of the old lady and her helper, how would her passing you when there was room to pass affect you or hurt you at all? It's not as if she pushed past or demanded that the other two customers got out of her way.

It is the way it's done. Most do it in a really discreet way, we barely notice. But every once in a while you come across an OP, who do it the second there is space. And despite there being a whole bunch of people, they are the only one who has rushed ahead, they rarely are leaving the kind of space OP thinks she did. After eight or so years of walking with DD you get to the point where you can tell the difference. DD hates to feel she has held people up, it makes her feel like she is inferior.

Train/bus stations are generally a bit of a different animal as half the people there are rushing to catch a train/bus. Not so much in the supermarket.

That's a whole heap of inference and assumption about a situation you didn't even see.

Sheesh.

Jellington · 15/01/2021 20:08

Provided you maintained social distancing, I can't see a problem.

cyclingmad · 15/01/2021 20:12

YaBU

The elderly lady clearly needed help with her shopping, one day that will be you in that position so just imagine what it will be like when you are.

Does it occur to you that perhaps that elderly lady has had people rushing past them before and also knocked her over, you don't know, I dont know either but it could be one possible reason why the other person helping was walking along the side.

Remember that rude guy pushing to get down the tube escalator and it was a blind guy with a member of staff standing next to him to prevent people rushing past.

When I have been in a rush and I have had someone walking slowly like that I usually open my mouth and say excuse me im in a hurry so I don't kiss my train can I squeeze past and many are happy to let me by.

pooopypants · 15/01/2021 20:15

YANBU

There was no reason not to overtake. BUT. You should've just said it - some people just want to make something out of nothing and need putting back in their bloody box.

peak2021 · 15/01/2021 20:16

I think a hello or excuse me to make the daughter aware probably would have been better.

Hoiking · 15/01/2021 20:16

I have brought my children up to think of others before themselves.

This is just going to make them miserable people-pleasers, and isn't healthy.

nottoday3000 · 15/01/2021 20:19

That supermarket workers and teachers should be having the vaccine like now tonight

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 15/01/2021 20:31

LOL, I think you have shown your true colours OP.
‘Lucky I was in a good mood’ OOooh, well’ard!

‘Some people are just cunts’
Indeed.

Next time try communication.

“Excuse me, mind if I come past?”

They might even have gone into single file Wink

Bearnecessity · 15/01/2021 20:32

I would have done the same Op...the fat gobby one lacked understanding. I am sure the old lady understood perfectly and was embarrassed by her braying companion.

Whatiswrongwithmykid · 15/01/2021 20:35

The same happened to me in the supermarket the other day. I could not get past and they were blocking the entire aisle. They ignored me when I tried to ask them if I could get past. I ended up having to bypass them by turning back and going the wrong way down the aisle or else I’d have been there all day.

cyclingmad · 15/01/2021 21:37

@Bearnecessity

I would have done the same Op...the fat gobby one lacked understanding. I am sure the old lady understood perfectly and was embarrassed by her braying companion.
Why are you even commenting on her size?

Two people were taking up the pathway, size has nothing to do with it

Your attitude is appalling no better than the on you call fat and gobby

Wheresmykimchi · 15/01/2021 21:40

She was rather large was she Hmm

Wheresmykimchi · 15/01/2021 21:40

@Bearnecessity you sound LOVELY.

cyclingmad · 15/01/2021 21:46

Lol walking behind someone people being slow, then rushing past them which odes give an air of you were in my wat but instead of being polite and asking if I could by im just gonna be passive aggressive about it....

Ots like those car drivers who drive up close behind you trying to force you to go faster than the speed limit and then when the road widens roar past you just to make a point and you just eye roll and think idiot lol

hansgrueber · 15/01/2021 21:50

@Hoiking

I'm with you OP, but women have to be kiiiind Hmm so expect a pasting.
I also feel the same on stairs where a little sprog is clearly just walking and insists on walking up/down the stairs creating a backlog of people. No, your off-spring is not cute, clever or whatever adjective you care to apply to this world shattering feat, s/he is simply a pest.
catlady3 · 15/01/2021 21:51

But were they picky bits?

SnoozyLou · 15/01/2021 21:54

But were they picky bits?

Oh, here we go. Behave! Smile

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 15/01/2021 21:54

Do think maybe she was walking next to her incase lady stumbled ? And when you went past was you 2m , plus normally if someone is in your way , don't you just say excise me if it was on way out Was only going go be a few extra minutes at most.

Wheresmykimchi · 15/01/2021 22:07

@Hoiking @donquixotedelamancha do we have to shoehorn sexist stereotypes that just aren't anything to do with the OP on shame or form into every single thread? It does get boring.

Op - bit of a non event. I don't really blame the woman for walking beside her , she probably said what she did because the elderly lady probably felt nervous that people were bustling around her and as elderly people do maybe panicked she was holding you up.

I would have waited , some people wouldn't , non issue.

You calling her rather large was the most unecessary of all of this and your use of not blocking the entrance also so.

donquixotedelamancha · 16/01/2021 08:37

do we have to shoehorn sexist stereotypes that just aren't anything to do with the OP on shame or form into every single thread?

Stereotypes exist for a reason. If you are not aware that there are cultural differences in the way males and females behave in the UK then I'm amazed. It's not sexist to point that out, it's sexist to think it's OK.

If you find it boring I'm surprised you @SomewhatBoredI think it's reasonable to point that out when so many posters are saying that it's 'polite' to remain behind someone who is slow. It's an odd, made-up rule with no basis for it.