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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this rude comment was unwarranted? (Supermarket rage!)

326 replies

CrossFitAddict · 15/01/2021 17:07

Just popped to the supermarket for a few bits and on exiting the checkouts I come out behind an elderly lady with another woman walking with her side by side (probably her daughter). It’s about 50ft to the exit and the elderly lady is walking extremely slowly holding onto a trolley (no problem with her at all), the other woman with her is walking at the same pace and blocking the walkway (she was rather large) so there’s a queue of us behind them.

As the area widened I walked quickly around them, a good distance from the elderly lady, and sped up to the entrance hearing the other woman shout loudly ‘some people can’t wait for other people can they’. I turned as I heard her (as did everyone else) and wanted to say that she should have moved to the side and walked single file behind the older lady if she had any manners but didn’t bother and just shook my head.

AIBU to think that if you’re walking with a slow moving person, you should move to the side rather than hold up everyone else and then take umbrage if someone overtakes you Angry.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/01/2021 19:26

I didn't know whether to put YABU or YANBU. I don't think you should EXPECT people in this situation to stay to one side, particularly if it widens just a bit further on providing a "passing place". It's the sensible thing for them to do, of course. Most kind and polite people in that situation WOULD probably stand to the side though if they're aware they're causing a big hold up and wave everyone past if there genuinely is a big queue forming behind them, it's stressful for the older slow-moving ones otherwise thinking they should hurry up.

I think if the younger one was helping the older one it's perfectly reasonable for them to want to stay next to each other so in your situation what you did was perfectly fine. I assume you didn't tut or huff, so if you simply overtook them when it widened then it's the other woman who was in the wrong.

I wouldn't have given it much thought really, the comment she made. Assumed she was just feeling stressed and put it down to that and ignored it. Some people have barely been out of the house for months and find supermarket shops quite terrifying. I know I did the first time I went to one in March during the first strict lockdown, my hands were shaking at the checkouts and I was ultra aware of everyone around me. If you KNOW you didn't huff and tut or comment or nearly trip them up then you did absolutely nothing wrong, did you?

There's a lot to be said for people just being kind to each other. I was in Tesco the other night and i dropped my shopping list which drifted under the front of my trolley. A man picked it up for me and handed it to me. That small gesture made my day! Honestly, when people are so paranoid of being near each other or touching each other it was lovely.

UrAWizHarry · 15/01/2021 19:26

If you didn't physically push past them of course you are entitled to overtake.

Ciaobaby92 · 15/01/2021 19:26

Yanbu OP. How does she know that you don't have a loved one in need at home, or a job to hurry back to, this is not the time to expect the world to adjust to a slow, leisurely pace when we are all dealing with problems of our own.

She had no right calling you out OP, you did them no harm and she had no idea of your own situation. To assume everyone should be fine stacking up behind her is rude and dangerous. A masked plastic surgeon of 50 just died here in the states from a Covid+ patient merely coughing on him. Let's not force ppl into close quarters!

That being said, long before Covid, when I would take my frail, elderly MIL out I would give an earful to any "tailgaters" - people getting way close to her in the back in an effort to "hurry her up" but I think your situation was different.

If you have an elderly family member to take out, remember to walk single file when possible, and let ppl by, we all have things to do and our own ppl to care for.

You could have had an emergency for all she knew, she should have kept her big mouth shut.

MaeveDidIt · 15/01/2021 19:27

YANBU
Being oblivious to having a queue backing up behind you especially in covid times is just simply dense.
You should have told her to wake-up.

CoolCovidCat · 15/01/2021 19:29

@PurpleFlower1983

You could have waited.
Why? If there was space to safely pass them?
CoolCovidCat · 15/01/2021 19:31

@Pimlicojo

I walk quickly but I know not everyone can. Fat shaming and elderly shaming just for a couple of minutes of your time. Sorry, just not how I think. And something like this wouldn't rile me enough to need to rant on Mumsnet about it.
Why is walking overtaking someone when there's space to do so fat/elderly shaming?
MrsHusky · 15/01/2021 19:32

yanbu

I had something similar happen last month, a couple of elderly ladies walking out side by side in front of me, decided to stop just outside the entrance.. right between two signboards, so i couldn't get passed them at all.

I said 'excuse me ladies, would you mind not blocking the entrance please?" and they moved out the way, i said 'Thank you' but i could hear them loudly complaining how rude i was.

I wanted to turn around and tell them it was more rude to block the entire fucking exit to a supermarket rather than just walk an extra 3 feet forward, but i didnt.

MintyMabel · 15/01/2021 19:33

My father is disabled and has limited mobility and is slow. He can walk, but he's slow and he needs someone beside him just in case. You can't walk behind him, you have to be next to him.

Same with DD. I generally try to make sure we don’t hold people up, but I won’t have her feel bad for doing so. When people rush past (and you can tell the impatient OP types) it is quite embarrassing for her. I don’t know why everyone is in such a damned hurry all the time that they can’t just take the time. It is literally a couple of minutes.

OP wasn’t being patient, she didn’t pass because she couldn’t pass this slow old lady and fat helper, how dare they hold her up. I’ve met the OP types before. Fooling no-one with their “I just walk fast, that’s why I scooted past the minute there was space” (which I’d put money on wasn’t 2 m either.) There is a way of doing so politely and thankfully the vast majority of people do. There is always an OP though.

MintyMabel · 15/01/2021 19:35

l said 'excuse me ladies, would you mind not blocking the entrance please?" and they moved out the way, i said 'Thank you' but i could hear them loudly complaining how rude i was.

“Excuse me, may I pass?” = not rude

“Don’t block the entrance” = rude.

MrsHusky · 15/01/2021 19:38

why is it rude to point out what they're doing wrong.. you know, like blocking everyone from leaving the store?

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 15/01/2021 19:39

YABVU and you're really rude.

DownstairsMixUp · 15/01/2021 19:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/01/2021 19:44

@Still1nLove
Unfortunately it would appear not...

swiftt · 15/01/2021 19:45

I mean, if you barged past her and shoved either of them out of the way then fair enough. But you waited til there was space to overtake them, so YANBU.

CakeRequired · 15/01/2021 19:47

Some people are just rude op. Not you, the other woman who blocked the walkway, plus the other people on this thread who actually think she was right to do that. Guess we know who holds everyone up. Grin

tillyandmilly · 15/01/2021 19:47

I would have just said "excuse me" - sorry in a rush.....

I am the same - I dawdle a bit but then I don't work so can understand your frustration if you are trying to get to work.

Stay123 · 15/01/2021 19:47

Very rude, she was aware she was blocking everyone so should have stepped aside and let everyone past. Simple. Does she love the power of walking slow and everyone having to wait behind her? Couldn’t she have done the vulnerable old persons shopping for her? OP not rude at all.

UrAWizHarry · 15/01/2021 19:51

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

YABVU and you're really rude.
Why, for not wanting to waste time stuck behind someone walking slowly when there was adequate space to overtake?

Don't be ridiculous.

Daphnise · 15/01/2021 19:51

Slow people in supermarkets-"Stoppers and Blockers" are a nuisance, and it's quite understandable people wish to get away from them.

cansu · 15/01/2021 19:51

Ignore. I get this more and more these days. It is almost like covid has given people a free pass to make these kinds of passive aggressive comments in public. I had someone tut at me when I passed by on the pavement. Clearly, she was expecting me to throw myself into the bushes to let her pass by.

missmouse101 · 15/01/2021 19:53

She was bloody rude. The woman definitely should have walked behind the elderly lady and let other people pass by.

Arobase · 15/01/2021 19:53

If you walked past them leaving a space, I don't see how this affected them at all. It would be ridiculous to carry on shuffling along solely when you had room to pass. Sounds like they were just complaining for the sake of it.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 15/01/2021 19:54

Both she and you should have been more mindful and accommodating. It’s no big deal but given the pandemic probably made this scenario more troublesome for all. Not fence sitting but I am guessing it was not minutes but possibly an extra few seconds and if you think about that as a percentage of your total shopping trip - it’s insignificant. Naturally I would have allowed others to walk pass and not block the path. On the other foot I would not have made a fuss because of the elderly lady. People always need to think about role reversal as to what would do?

fullofhope100 · 15/01/2021 19:55

@ExclamationPerfume

You were rude and impatient.

Maybe the elderly lady couldn't shop on her own.

I'm sorry, but this. I do understand that it was frustrating but even so.
Ellapaella · 15/01/2021 19:55

It's fine to walk around someone and overtake them when there's plenty of room. The daughter was being ridiculous. Don't give it another thought OP.