To dislike the casual use of ‘I have anxiety’

[Sallytheseal]

I’ve name changed for this as I’m sure I’ll get a pasting but I’ve noticed SO many threads where the OP will not do something / expect special treatment because ‘I have anxiety’ and that’s the end of the sentence.

Anxiety is a medical condition and it should be treated. It isn’t a reason to just avoid things that make you anxious. For context, I had a traumatic delivery with DC2 and developed debilitating panic attacks. I saw a therapist, had counselling for over 2 years, forced myself to build tolerance (my fear was any separation from DC and I had to build myself up to longer times). It was awful but necessary. DH also suffers from diagnosed anxiety. He has regular therapy and is medicated. He still gets anxious but isn’t part of being a responsible adult getting treatment? I fully understand that doesn’t happen straight away, I didn’t seek help till DC was 6 months and I’m all too familiar with the state of mental health provision but if you already have the awareness that you have anxiety, and that it’s affecting your behaviour, then at some point you need to seek help or at least acknowledge that you need to seek help.

I hate when posters write things like, ‘I can’t confront x, I have anxiety’. I think it belittles people with diagnosed anxiety, as if they are helpless/ unable to change. Also, if you don’t have diagnosed anxiety, it’s weird to use the name of a recognised mental health disorder to self diagnose. You can say ‘I feel anxious’ which doesn’t co-opt someone else’s genuine illness?

I’m honestly not trying to minimise anyone’s suffering but I also don’t think it’s right to misrepresent a mental health disorder.

@georgarina

I've been diagnosed with GAD for coming on 5 years.

Sorry but YABU.

There's a reason it's called an anxiety disorder, not anxiety. Anxiety is a state anyone can be in, and people can have anxiety about certain things. Literally the only difference between that and GAD is the frequency and severity of the emotion, and its impact on your life. We don't own the word 'anxiety' any more than the word 'panic' is owned by people with panic disorder.

And as for whether it's 'genuine,' we can't tell that from the outside, and it can be genuine even if you don't have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Like you can be very upset without having clinical depression, or you can panic without having panic disorder.

I don't think there's any point gatekeeping who can say what just because some might have it worse. It's better that we can be more open about our feelings and not just think there's a black and white division between 'happy and fine' and 'diagnosed disorder'.

Completely agree with this.

YABU.

I have never had a diagnosis because I've never pushed for one and because my 'anxiety' is not severe but I think I do have some form of anxiety - I was assessed for autism when I was young (which came back negative.. but they mentioned social anxiety) and I get extremely anxious about situations that most people would find very easy (attending appointments on my own, even going into a shop on my own, driving - day to day things that would be normal for most). But I can't say I've ever had a panic attack.
Every mental illness or disorder has varying levels.. it doesn't mean that the ones who claim to have it without a diagnosis are just jumping on the bandwagon.

I know there has been an increase in prescriptions for antidepressants recently and I would imagine it’s mostly for low level depression and anxiety - given the situation I’m sure many people are really suffering at the moment

But not everyone will go to their GP not everyone will take medication not everyone recognises how bad their anxiety is (the most severe anxiety I have seen the person does not accept they are the feel they get a little worried (and this is from working on mh for a number of years)

I have been given anti depressants and therapy for anxiety and depression In the past that doesn’t mean I am able to assess and decide how unwell someone else is

@Plussizejumpsuit

Interested op hasn't come back. Goady fucker. But just to add my bit. It's not as simple as well yiu should get treatment. I've been taking citalopram for 7 plus had I've had 3 sets of counselling and 3 of cbt. Plus various other sled help methods. I still struggle at times and have dips where I can't do stuff

So yeah it's not about being an adult and fixing it.

Yes, same- my disorder (not GAD) is pretty treatment resistant but I think OP's point was that if someone's undiagnosed Anxiety disorder is severe enough to cause avoidance of certain situations then it's severe enough for them to seek treatment.

I think she's wrong in assuming that that means that everyone who seeks treatment gets better.

The op is completely wrong to think everyone seeks treatment many many people don’t for a number of reasons

@OhWhyNot

The op is completely wrong to think everyone seeks treatment many many people don’t for a number of reasons

Notably, anxiety.

@thefuriousfuggler

Lots of people on MN just love a label.

They get anxious about something and they have seen that "having anxiety" is a thing, so they label themselves.

See also:

Narcissist (nope - your MIL is just plain horrible)
Misophonia (not many people enjoy unpleasant noises)
Emetophobia (puking isn't generally enjoyable)
Norovirus (remember those days? - nobody on MN had a "bit of a dodgy tummy", they all had norovirus)

I am not trying to suggest that the above conditions don't exist, they clearly do and it must be very difficult for anyone having to experience them, but constantly "claiming" labels for stuff which is just part of everyday life is insulting to anyone who genuinely falls into any of the categories.

Emetophobia is absolutely debilitating if you have it severely. It is not a simple dislike of being sick; it is the feeling of terror in hundreds of different everyday situations where someone may vomit, be unwell or where you might see vomit. I have had it from a very young age and way before I knew a name for it existed.

It's actually acknowledged by MH professionals to be more difficult to treat than most cases of OCD (which is not easy to treat either).

I have crippling anxiety and tbh if someone else said they have anxiety I would just take it as face value. Who are we to judge just ‘how much’ someone suffers? There are different degrees and just because they may not suffer as much as you and I it doesn’t make their struggle any less real

[quote OhCaptain]@miljea I didn’t call it gibberish because I disagreed, I called it gibberish because the first part at least was practically indecipherable.

Perhaps you’d had a few?[/quote]

Nice try.

I might 'retaliate' by suggesting you might need 'more help' than you're getting if that's how you 'strike back'.

It’s a strange time to want to dismiss people’s anxieties, when we’re in the middle of a pandemic and people are scared of dying/loosing loved ones.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have their anxiety ‘diagnosed’ and to have had support for it.
I do suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and am fortunate enough to have had counselling etc but .....
This post has annoyed me.

@Miljea what are you on about?! 🤣🤣

Strike back? And what do you mean more help? If you want to say something, say it.

It was the evening, parts of your post were nearly incoherent. You profess to be a HCP and you were surprisingly disparaging of MH issues.

It wasn’t outside the realms of possibility for you to have had a couple of drinks.

If you feel like you need to retaliate to that then have at it.

It seems to be the prevalence is an excuse by millennials and the like either not to do things they don't like, but are necessary, or to draw attention to themselves as being special.

I dunno if people want to dismiss people's anxieties, as such. I think it's more that there are people with debilitating mental illnesses who are concerned that ambiguities over terminology, combined with the willingness of people experiencing ordinary emotions to try to take advantage of concessions originally intended for those with mental illness, will eventually lead to their mental illness not being taken as seriously as it needs to be.

@HopeClearwater

Yes. Same with ‘I’m not obeying all the lockdown rules because mental health’. ‘Mental health’ isn’t about whether you’re happy with your lot or not.

How incredibly patronising and dismissive. I don’t think it’s for the op or anyone else on this thread to decide someone else’s mental health. Unfortunately there will be some people who take the mickey and pretend but I would far rather give someone the benefits of the doubt and be a kind person. Kindness costs nothing.

@Fairyscary

It’s a strange time to want to dismiss people’s anxieties, when we’re in the middle of a pandemic and people are scared of dying/loosing loved ones. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have their anxiety ‘diagnosed’ and to have had support for it. I do suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and am fortunate enough to have had counselling etc but ..... This post has annoyed me.

I quite agree and am surprised that someone with a mental health condition wishes to dismiss others less fortunate to have their conditions diagnosed.

agree. Many people use it to express they are having a hard time with something. Anxiety as an actual mental health problem is very different. The fact that it is so over used is unhelpful. Feeling anxious in a stressful situation is a normal response. This is not something that needs to be labelled as a mental health condition.

@cansu

agree. Many people use it to express they are having a hard time with something. Anxiety as an actual mental health problem is very different. The fact that it is so over used is unhelpful. Feeling anxious in a stressful situation is a normal response. This is not something that needs to be labelled as a mental health condition.

So where is the imaginary line between anxiety that is felt day to day and a medical level of anxiety?

Obviously it must be so very clear for you to make such a statement

Well icdodo that would be for medical epople to find out. I can say I am depressed doesn,t mean I have depresion. A colleague was talking about huigh anxiety when learning to drive... I totally get this but not to the same level and she has anxiety prob when I don,t but I still get anxious. The point is as others have said these are normal emotions but for some they become overwelming and debilitating.,

@covidaintacrime

Agreed. I think it's also made me less tolerant of everyone with anxiety conditions because it just seems that everyone says it.

I just think 'yeah right'

A reasonable and not at all prejudiced response.

One scan I do, as a HCP, MR, has, on the patient safety questionnaire, as its last Q: Do you suffer from anxiety?

We have battled to get that question removed as it is, at best - pointless, at worse, counterproductive.

We ignore the answer, given that every young woman ticks 'yes' to it.

If it asked ' Do you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder?' - yes, fair enough. But insinuating there's something real and present to be in a heightened anxiety state, over, with this scan, doesn't help. If it's your first ever, yes, it's normal to feel apprehensive, but the moment you chuck the word 'anxiety' in there, instant refusal. 'I don't like it'. etc.

The word in itself has become a 'trigger'.

@IDontLikeZombies @Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow
Thank you for your posts. It doesn’t matter what it’s called, having anxiety, being anxious. Someone else’s experience, diagnosis (or not), treatment, is not the same as mine. There’s a distinct lack of compassion on this thread which has shocked me.

It used to be we didn’t talk about mental health at all, in the far past those people were eccentric, or odd. It’s great we’ve moved on from that. But where has this mental health comparison thing come from?

“You don’t experience this in the same way I do, your anxiety isn’t real”.

“I had treatment and worked through my issues, why can’t you”.

“I couldn’t get out of bed when I was anxious, how can you manage to teach a class”.

There’s no need for any of that. There are many illnesses which don’t present exactly the same way in everyone. Why should mental health conditions be any different? “Well I don’t know, she says she has rheumatoid arthritis, but she can still knit and I can’t, so many she’s just arthritic sometimes and doesn’t have arthritis”

@GalesThisMorning

My teenage students generally have a hard time separating "I feel anxious" with "I have anxiety".

Anxiety becomes a thing that you are lumbered with, through no fault of your own, that means no one should ask you to do anything that might trigger it. A lot of my students almost nurture this condition and will insist that they can't take exams, or stay in a lesson that is difficult, or attend college if they've fallen out with a friend.

They see this anxiety as something they have and cannot control, rather than a normal human emotion that everyone experiences and that they can learn to manage.

Yes. In spades. This ^^

Icdododo
If I am having a difficult time at work and I am under pressure and stressed, I know that affects my levels of anxiety. I feel anxious. I can tell. I feel a bit sick. I can't concentrate and I don't sleep well etc. This doesn't mean (to me) that I have 'anxiety'. The situation usually gets better or I learn ways to manage it. This is (to me) different to feeling anxious when there is little reason for it or where the situation is ongoing and has a prolonged affect on my ability to function on a daily basis. This is where for me I would see this as an encompassing mental health problem where I will need longer term additional support. I recognise that people see this differently, but I guess that was the point of the thread!

@lcdododo

So where is the imaginary line between anxiety that is felt day to day and a medical level of anxiety

Isn't it the line between when you're feeling anxious (or depressed) about something, and when you're generally feeling anxious all the time?

@Lifeinaonesie I actually agree with you! We can’t really scoff at the younger generations for overusing the word ‘anxiety’ when it is constantly shoved down their throats. They’ve become so aware of their emotions that it is creating even more of a problem. That being said, it doesn’t mean that aren’t genuinely feeling anxious! As you said, your DC actually became anxious when she was forced to confront her feelings constantly. When a teen or a child tells me they have anxiety, I believe them. It’s rife at the moment!

I haven’t read the full thread but the bit I’ve read was bad enough.

I found this but if you already have the awareness that you have anxiety, and that it’s affecting your behaviour, then at some point you need to seek help or at least acknowledge that you need to seek help. particularly frustrating.

Anxiety is a complex disease of different levels and triggers (I have diagnosed GAD)

Not everyone with anxiety recognises they actually have a problem and some of those that do cannot just ‘seek help’ because of the anxiety...
I was medicated in the past, i won’t see a doctor again because I convince myself the medication will cause x y z side effect or the doctor will think I am crazy and other excuses.

Both of those viewpoints are probably untrue, it’s the anxiety talking yet I can’t bring myself to ‘seek help’ and it’s quite offensive to think that according to that statement of yours OP I would probably be classed as one of these people you are referring to, despite having severe anxiety.

I hate when posters write things like, ‘I can’t confront x, I have anxiety’. I think it belittles people with diagnosed anxiety, as if they are helpless/ unable to change
As above.
Sliding scale, different levels of severity, different triggers, different manifestations.
Anxiety is a complex disease.
And imo a fair few people with anxiety ARE helpless/unable to change.

I think you should try and be a bit more understanding OP, just because the person doesn’t seem genuinely anxious to you doesn’t mean they aren’t.
And even if they aren’t, would argue that making out they are would still suggest they are unhappy in some way, attention seeking for example