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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to hurl a heavy object at dp?

64 replies

PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 27/10/2007 23:58

I saw him at lunchtime for 20 mins when we did a shift change with the dd's and i went to work.
I came home at 9.20 and had a bath,we spoke for 2o mins then he went to sleep.

He doesn't understand why i am pissed off.

OP posts:
Original poster
PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 28/10/2007 00:41

Thanks

I look at other couples and they seem so happy or loved up and have interesting lives and it all seems so unlike what we have.
If i had known we would end up like this when we met i would have run a mile.

OP posts:
gibberish · 28/10/2007 00:42

You are more than welcome pelvic

Any time you want to chat I will be here. I know how you feel about always being the one to try make the changes. I think that seems to be a 'woman' thing though. Some men just seem to be oblivious until it has gone too far and is all over. And they can't see that it has been them that has caused the breakdown.

You are doing great keeping things going. It's hard but I'm sure it will be worth it. You may need a stick of dynamite positioned in a prime spot though

Original poster
PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 28/10/2007 00:43

Thankyou

OP posts:
gibberish · 28/10/2007 00:44

People are great at putting on a show. Behind closed doors shows a different story. I'm convinced that any couples with young children struggle. It's a very, very hard time. The fact that you are still going shows the strength of your commitment. It's a credit to you.

Original poster
PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 28/10/2007 00:49

I know some of it is grass is greener syndrome.

I wonder if subconsciously that is why we have never married?

OP posts:
gibberish · 28/10/2007 00:55

Yep quite possibly! That's a good point. I do think that marriage makes you work a bit harder. Makes it subconsciously more difficult to separate. But then i may be talking complete rubbish (hence my name) as it is so late

gibberish · 28/10/2007 00:57

The grass on the other side is usually the same, if not worse, than the grass on this side IME. It's the work you put into it that makes it healthy and strong, not the location of it.

My goodness, am feeling philosophical tonight...

Original poster
PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 28/10/2007 00:58

That makes sense Gibberish
maybe you should change your name as you really don't talk gibberish.

OP posts:
Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 00:59

Raising children is the ultimate stress test on a relationship, and I'm sure people who know you would probably say that you two seem stable. On the other hand I know some very volatile relationships! the point being that you can't judge a book by its cover. But having young children tends to make us put their needs first-and it's important-essential-to nurture the primary relationship, and remember why you hd them in the first place!

gibberish · 28/10/2007 01:01

lol I honestly do talk nonsense usually - 4 kids fries your brain. But you just happened to strike a chord with me. Been there you know. Happily (atm) seem to have sorted it with a lot of work and really hope you can do the same.

Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 01:01

Gibberish, had thought to myself " what a wise old bird is gibberish this evening"

How are the girls?
I am at home with eight 13 year olds and a 14 year old, all loved up on Dirty Dancing and lasagne and still leaping around!

gibberish · 28/10/2007 01:02

Are you completely mad pumpkin???

Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 01:22

Yes I fear 'tis so.
DH legged it for Hong kong some hours ago.....

Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 01:24

Temporarily one hopes.....
Sorry Pelvic, have hijacked your thread!

gibberish · 28/10/2007 01:24

Lucky him

He could have, at the very least, taken all the teens with him...

Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 01:26

Ah but it's on Very Important Business Gibberish.....

Pelvic is your sex life nonexistant because you don't feel like it or becuase he doesn't ask you?

Original poster
PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 28/10/2007 01:27

Dp is like a randy dog but i never feel like it,Would rather sleep tbh.

OP posts:
gibberish · 28/10/2007 01:29

Pelvic - don't talk about 's e x'

Have convinced dh that after you have decided you family is complete it is no longer required....

Original poster
PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 28/10/2007 01:30

lol

OP posts:
Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 01:35

Normal, Pelvic, normal, but consider this:
sex is both adult "play2 and a form of communication:

so DP things you don't want to communicate with him anymore and you won't play either!

So he's maybe thinking why bother?

See?

Why not surprise him with some special attention(make him a cup of tea, whatever) it needn't be the "s" word-I'll bet he will blossom!
'course you might have to occasionally give in and have sex with him too{grin}

gibberish · 28/10/2007 01:36

But strangely, the only time I feel like it is when I have my period so dh doesn't have a chance. Think that is the body's natural contraceptive.

Or I am just a freak

Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 01:36

Gibberih you can look away now.....

Original poster
PelvicfloorLotsofGore · 28/10/2007 01:36

Same as me

OP posts:
Neverenoughpumpkins · 28/10/2007 01:37

Why does that stop you?

gibberish · 28/10/2007 01:37

rofl never

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