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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it’s ok to put kids (4 and 1) into kids club on a ski holiday

508 replies

Needallthesleep · 14/01/2021 13:21

Obviously not this year! Planning for the future.

DH and I love to ski, and given what a shocker this year has been for holidays (plus we have a newborn so not like we can go away anyway) we are planning an epic one next year.

It would be the first time going skiing with our kids, and are planning on putting the 4 year old into ski school and the 1 year old into kids club so we can ski.

For context we are looking at doing 14 nights in a very kid friendly hotel in France with childcare on site. We are planning a 2 week break so that we (and the children) can have some relaxed days together at the pool/sledging and me and DH still get a decent amount of time skiing.

MIL thinks that’s mean. And I am wracked with mum guilt about our plans now. Are my plans unreasonable?

OP posts:
zeddybrek · 15/01/2021 20:58

I think this sort.of decision boils down to your childrens personalities. Are they happy to be with strangers with no settling in. Mine would scream for hours until I got asked to came back.

I would do this if they go to strangers happily, no brainer. Otherwise wait til they are older.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 15/01/2021 21:01

I absolutely would not leave a 1 year old with random strangers in a foreign country so I could go have fun. How could you enjoy yourself just plonking your baby with someone you’ve never met, haven’t seen the qualifications for, read their policies or done settling in sessions with knowing your baby has no way of communicating their needs or feelings to these strangers other than to cry? Most 1 year olds take some convincing to go to childcare settings and need some settling in. What if you have a ski accident and have to leave your baby there longer than expected? My 4 year old I think I actually would take to a ski school or a kids club without me if he wanted to go but I would be anxious about it. I would much prefer a holiday with my kids, there is so much you can do as a family. I took our then 1 and 3 year olds backpacking around South America and we had a brilliant time, together.

Mamanyt · 15/01/2021 21:04

I wouldn't do it every single day of the holiday. Plan some days for family activities that the children will enjoy. But given that, go for it!

OllyBJolly · 15/01/2021 21:09

My DCs loved the crèches on ski holidays. They are totally different from your summer resort —dumping grounds— kids clubs. The supervisors are usually very qualified, they do an amazing range of activities - sledging, skiing, snowman building, snowball fights.

I’d come back from ski school to be told they weren’t ready to go for lunch- they wanted to stay with their friends.

OP - go and enjoy!

Miffyliffy · 15/01/2021 21:11

I definitely would.

shouldistop · 15/01/2021 21:11

My 4yo would probably love it. I wouldn't with a 1yo though.

DenisetheMenace · 15/01/2021 21:12

In your position, I would be more comfortable leaving 1 year old in the care of family and putting 4 year old into junior ski-school until lunchtime. Husband and I would ski in mornings then spend afternoons as a family.

Chel098 · 15/01/2021 21:15

No too young.

Porcupineintherough · 15/01/2021 21:16

With a 1 year old I wouldnt, mine would have been utterly distraught at that age. But maybe yours is a very chilled 1 year old and won't mind.

Darbs76 · 15/01/2021 21:17

Not for me, as I wouldn’t know if I’d trust those kids clubs and also my kids were very clingy at that age and I’d feel terrible leaving them with strangers. But if you’re ok with it then do it, don’t let anyone tell you it’s mean

tootsytoo · 15/01/2021 21:20

Honestly some of the responses here make me feel this is the reason why our younger generation are wimps with little independence and no resilience.

Parenting is not about being essentially a slave to your child's every needs and never leaving them out of sight to learn that building relationships is a good thing, yes their needs come first 95% of the time but if you don't take care of yourself how can you be the best version of you? Kids or no kids it's essential IMO

Scarlettpixie · 15/01/2021 21:27

Given that you both work full time, I am a bit surprised you don’t want to choose a holiday where you get to spend more time with your kids.There will be plenty of time for skiing when they are a bit older and can enjoy it too. It doesn’t sound any fun for the 1 yo and could go either way for the older one. My DS sometimes wanted to go to holiday club and sometimes not. It was always up to him. Doesn’t sound like your kids would have much of a choice.

Billiesam · 15/01/2021 21:28

@tootsytoo most babies wouldn’t settle at 1 years old with a stranger. I think that’s a fair opinion and the reality.

I wouldn’t be able to settle either.

capercaillie · 15/01/2021 21:29

We went skiing with friends when DS was 10 months old - they had children too so we shared a nanny. Also shared a stomach upset round the chalet but that’s another story! I didn’t get it so skied on!

EvieBoo2 · 15/01/2021 21:31

You wouldn't be asking if deep down you believed it was ok. Of course it's not ok! Enjoy your children while you can, have a fabulous time with them.

tootsytoo · 15/01/2021 21:31

@Billiesam yes but I don't agree with a child always having a perfect environment. Maybe the quicker they adapt to being with strangers the more sociable they'll be come at a younger age. Everyone is different but that's my opinion,

A bit of tough love can do wonders for a child's development

tootsytoo · 15/01/2021 21:32

You wouldn't be asking if deep down you believed it was ok. Of course it's not ok! Enjoy your children while you can, have a fabulous time with them.

Ridiculous statement

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 15/01/2021 21:33

The racism and unpleasant attitude towards "foreigners" who cannot be trusted with young children is something else too.

British nurseries would put Mary Poppins to shame, whilst Austrian, French or Swiss childcare set ups are known to be the shelter of any incompetent untrained useless drunk apparently Hmm

One might wonder why Will and Kate chose to employ a ...Spanish nanny! The horror of it!

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 15/01/2021 21:34

most babies wouldn’t settle at 1 years old with a stranger

it's funny how that never stops British mothers to use the creches at their local gyms Grin

mumof2exhausted · 15/01/2021 21:35

Personally I wouldn’t put 1 year old in. I’m not against kids club, used them loads but just so we could relax (on sun holidays) for an hour or so and would check on them every 20 mins or so to check all still ok. And only when they were old enough to articulate if they were happy to stay and play. Would not feel comfortable leaving 1 year old and being away for a few hours. We’ve just had 3rd baby and have accepted skiing holidays will wait for few more years.

Billiesam · 15/01/2021 21:47

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

most babies wouldn’t settle at 1 years old with a stranger

it's funny how that never stops British mothers to use the creches at their local gyms Grin

I doubt want to sound racists because I travel with my DS in normal times. I have met some lovely staff in the kids clubs. I have stayed in some lovely hotels. Things like CCTV lack abroad and let’s be honest if there’s a problem abroad it’s much more complicated than your local UK gym.

I do agree with your point to some extent but it’s not the same is it? Or is it?

tootsytoo · 15/01/2021 21:50

@Billiesam I would also say when is the last time a child died or got kidnapped from a kids holiday club??

This thread is full or irrational fears. Sorry but there's a risk of something happening to your child at school does that mean you don't send them? There are risks all around us and you have to weigh them up and decide how likely they are to happen. Life is an assessment of risk all of the time - it's full of them.

And leaving a child in kids club is pretty low risk I would say.

surreygoldfish · 15/01/2021 21:50

Yes I would and have - 2 weeks seems too long though. We used UK ski companies with UK qualified nannies. We’ve got over a 5 year gap between DS2 and DD1 so it was that or not go until they were all older. We took her from 6 months and then every year .... DD1 was in the nursery with DS1 and 2 in ski school. She was quite chilled so worked well for us.

tootsytoo · 15/01/2021 21:50

One might wonder why Will and Kate chose to employ a ...Spanish nanny! The horror of it

😂

cherrypie111 · 15/01/2021 21:51

Of course not

There wouldn't be kids clubs if there weren't parents willing to send them