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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bad way to spend £1000 community care grant

183 replies

milliec · 27/10/2007 20:48

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
CrookshanksinJimmyChoos · 27/10/2007 20:52

YANBU! When DH and I first got married, we were students and so had no money and had second hand furniture for ages -its what you do when you are budgeting! Mind you, she may have had to buy clothes as could have been destroyed in the fire, but no reason why she shouldn't have accepted the freecycle stuff!

worzsel · 27/10/2007 20:54

I dont see why people who dont have house insurance should be bailed out by the government anyway tbh.

ImBarryScott · 27/10/2007 20:55

YANBU.
The woman has been given plenty of choices. Admittedly, £1000 doesn't go the whole way when you are replacing most of the furniture and possessions of a family, but it was up to her to prioritise. She might change her mind about second hand stuff in time.

lomondgore · 27/10/2007 20:57

YANBU, surely she should have bought beds before a sofa

southeastastra · 27/10/2007 20:57

£1,000 isn't much though is it, to replace everything

stressteddy · 27/10/2007 20:58

I agree with worzsel. Why should the rest of us pay for insurance if people that don't then get all their posessions replaced anyway?
Wrong diddly wrong wrong

ImBarryScott · 27/10/2007 21:00

I do think there should be access to Community Care Grants. If people are on struggling on benefits, it can be nigh on impossible to afford home insurance. But if this woman's been given cash, blown it, and refused help to get free stuff, my sympathy does dwindle a bit.

cktwo · 27/10/2007 21:01

My friend used to work with pregnant teenagers (who lived in supported lodgings)and she said that none of them would spend their Maternity grant sensibly. They all bought the biggest, most expensive pushchair they could find and would not consider anything second-hand None of them would go to charity shops.

It a similar sort of thing, no?

stressteddy · 27/10/2007 21:03

She's clearly not daft and knows how to play the system. She'll get lots more stuff replaced than a thousand pounds worth I can guarantee it

stressteddy · 27/10/2007 21:05

Think about it - if you were on benefits and couldn't afford insurance and then your house burnt down
Would you not try to make the "free" £1000 last as long as possible and get cheap/ second hand stuff to re build your life again?
Most people would
She's playing the system like a fiddle IMO

meemar · 27/10/2007 21:05

millie YANBU - what are the options for you? Is she entitled to more money?

Is there anyway you can put conditions on any more money you give her i.e she must spend it on certain essential items, or she can only have more money if she accepts some of the good quality second hand goods she's been offered.

It sounds harsh, but she really doesn't sound very clever to me.

stressteddy · 27/10/2007 21:06

meemar - she sounds very clever to me
She has already had a grand and will most likely get more

meemar · 27/10/2007 21:09

hmm, I think you're right stressteddy. Didn't realise it would be so easy for her to get more, and certainly don't think it should be.

ImBarryScott · 27/10/2007 21:14

I'm not sure she would get more. Social fund would be highly unlikely to pay out again after one claim.

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 27/10/2007 21:14

Quitew right- if no insurance they should all suffer! Sod the kids who had no say of course- let them rot!

FFS!

not the brightest way to spend the money but people in her position often don't feel there will be anoher chance to buy a decent sofa etc- and in some lower income famillies (and I am from ojne) the stigma atatched to 2nd hand can be quite bad

Original poster
milliec · 27/10/2007 21:15

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 27/10/2007 21:18

Millie I used to work for homestart and a lot of our famillies wrere like that- Gap etc (not all obv), i'm not quite sure what's ging on but its clearly ime a cultural thng. The advice I would giver her is that she's not likely to get any more acsh, so she needs to formulate a palmn now- would she like you to arrange transport 9if you can) to a furniture warehouse type setup, for example? Or Does she need help with collection?

If thats not getting any repsonse, you have to make it clear that there's very little else you can do, wish her luck with the application and say that should it fall through, she knows where to contact you for the things already ofered, and end the call in a friendly manner.

HairyIrene · 27/10/2007 21:19

stressteddy..i think you are nail on head moment there
shame really as others lose out inevitably when they dont devote lifes to playing the game as it were ..

stressteddy · 27/10/2007 21:24

peachy - I wholeheartedly promise you that her children suffering would never be an objective of mine

Original poster
milliec · 27/10/2007 21:26

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
cat64 · 27/10/2007 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Skribble · 27/10/2007 21:37

Sorry but £599 for a sofa she already had all the carpets and kitchen stuff

£1000 I could kit the whole place out.

When I had my first place with now exH everything was second hand. We were not on benefits just a low wage.

Sofa was bought out of paper £50,
All units chests of drawers etc from and Uncles house that died.

All kitchen stuff from a grandad that died.

Only thing new was the cheapsest bed out of the catalouge paid up each month.

FGS Ikea do sofas for under £100.

I would say sorry but you got the grant, it was up to you how you spent it. There is not a bottomless pit of money and other people require help too. Suggest she saves up and makes sure she gets contents insurance. You have all tried to help and advise.

Skribble · 27/10/2007 21:39

My house looked like a pensioners for the first 5 years, now it looks like an Ikea reject section . That is with exH on a decent wage.

HairyIrene · 27/10/2007 21:51

there are plenty of places to get reasonable furniture in this sort of case

the money should be last resort
and she blew it by all accounts
but she knows system
and will get what she wants

had relative as social worker and they went to all sorts of places to provide actual furniture charity, second hand places,
and
then if something was really needed people could apply for loan or grant...

helenhismadwife · 28/10/2007 09:53

your not being unreasonable at all. I find people like this very unreasonable, they expect everyone else to pay for them, they know how to play the system.

If you have a genuine need for something then you will take what you can get, if she is not prepared to take things that are offered for free then she doesnt need them she just wants them. Sounds to me like she needs lessons in money management. There are not that many people who would be able to go out and just buy a sofa without saving for it