How to bag a wealthy man?

[Simonstrousers]

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

I know a couple of women who were pursued by older very wealthy men when they were in their 20s.

Maybe 3 thinking about it.

They said no. They were young and didn't want an older man they didn't fancy even though he would buy them stuff and dote on them.

It's a lot to give up tbh.

I know a lady in her 50’s who had a terrible divorce. After the divorce she bought a small flat of her own and went online dating. There she meet a police officer who was also divorced. They dated, things went well. He sought early retirement due to an issue with his back. He proposed and she accepted. They both were selling their flats to enable living together. He then announced he was the owner of a sprawling farm, with staff, acres of land and a riding school, which he had inherited from his parents and he wanted them to live there. He had inherited millions previously but lived in a small flat by his work. They are married, blissfully happy, both retired, living in a fantastic huge house and until COVID holidayed many times year taking their adult children and grandchildren. She bagged a lovely rich man without even realising she had!

Well, I reckon go to Oxford or Cambridge university and try to bag a wealthy young chap there.

If that doesn't work on graduation get a job at a hedge fund or top law firm and pick up a wealthy man there.

Or just use your own education and hard work to make enough money and marry someone who you love.

Mind you if you follow my advice above you will only mix with at least reasonably well off people so maybe you can do both.

And as I said, a person of wealth can tell when someone is just sniffing it out. They may not care as they see it as the transaction they want to make, but they know nonetheless. Look to marry your equal. What that is, I couldn’t say.

Someone we knew at school had a horrid divorce. Was resigned to living alone. On Facebook her first boyfriend contacted her, he had been widowed. He came up to see her and kept coming, popped the question, she said yes. Turned out he was enormously wealthy. They are so happy together is lovely to see.

@Simonstrousers

It’s really interesting. In retrospect I should have put a thread out asking people in this situation, what their lives were really like..I suppose that’s what I really wanted to know. A lot of it sounds pretty negative in all honesty.. I wonder if the wives in these situations fear that the men may go off with a younger woman etc? I’m guessing you’d have to to have fairly high self esteem to enter into a marriage where potentially lots of beautiful women were trying to land you

From a family member's point of view, I think my one is desperately unhappy, but it made her Father very happy when her engagement after a very short romance, was announced.

Those of us on her side of the family was not invited to either of the weddings so I am unable to tell you much about the groom's family apart from what the father of the bride has told us gleefully, which revolves around finances, titles, property and business etc. I have since met the groom and he comes across as a very genuinely interested person.

Getting back to the ''bride'', yes she can have pretty much whatever she wants but the valuable property is owned by her in-laws and they live in the other end.

Her own money is kept separate and she is on the hunt to buy a property elsewhere in a particular region solely in her name. Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if she ''retires'' there when offspring are in boarding school and Hubby's business trips start taking him away longer.

For people well under 40, I think its a pretty damning life for either of them and I would wish a better one than that on my Daughter.

Well, I reckon go to Oxford or Cambridge university and try to bag a wealthy young chap there.

Teehee.

From my husbands social circle (he comes from a well connected family) these tend to be arranged marriages to form stronger business connections through parents or they get brought up by marrying their own kind. Rich will marry rich. The wives tend to be educated and have good professions but equally come from wealthy families. If there's couples who were together at normal times and suddenly they do a start up business and become rich that's different but mainly this is the theme they move with. Of course there are some examples where they meet at uni or work but mainly it's family connections.

I dunno about lovely to have lots of money.

Lots of studies say it's great to have enough to not worry, have decent housing, pay bills, nice hols, all that stuff.

But past that more money doesn't bring more happiness. If you have a massive mansion then burglery is a worry. Home invasion. You need a gardener, housekeeper etc etc. Employing people can be stressful. There's always someone richer than you if you are the envious type. What about purpose? If you never have to lift a finger there's a danger of vegetating/ drifting through life. Your kids are probably at a fancy school and their mates don't live nearby, there's no playing out. If you're really rich, what about kidnap?

I mean on and on first world super rich problems.

I think longing to have enough for comfort is totally normal and fine and etc.

Wanting to be super wealthy... I don't think I'd actually fancy it tbh.

My brother is very wealthy, he worked for it. He met his wife when she was a temp and he was an accountant who couldn't manage his money or his life, he frittered money away like most single men do.
She started taking care of him when they moved in together, I admit, I found her controlling, but he seemed to like it, within a year he'd sorted out his finances, made some smart investments, they were married and are now blissfully happy.
And very wealthy
Find someone who makes you happy

You are heading for disaster if you are choosing a partner based on wealth.

Put it this way... how does this sound- how can I bag a wealthy best friend?

Money shouldn't be a priority when developing relationships.

Lots of things are easier if you have money. Nothing can buy good health or genuine love in your life, but if your health goes wrong or other life catastrophes happen, life will be so much easier if you have money than if you haven't. My mother learned this the hard way and to that end bought teenage me a book "How to Marry a Rich Man" (yes, really)

The advice boiled down to, 'look your best and be where rich men are'. Hope that helps

How wealthy and which type of wealth? Do you mean posh/city wealth or wide-boy-made-good-through-business-deals type wealth?

In both cases, socialise in the right social circles and get invited to things. Be prepared to pursue, but subtly and cleverly. If posh, go to the "right" university (Edinburgh, Durham, St Andrews, etc) and get invited to the right parties, including house parties at weekends. Be prepared to marry someone young and due to inherit but you may have to wait a while. Don't be too challenging/clever. Be thin with long glossy hair. This approach might be easier than keeping with Russian oligarch's daughters in London.

Euro-rich? I'm not really sure, but I got invited onto a luxury yacht once by some Russian type while wandering around on my own in Puerto Banus. I said no because I was scared I'd be raped and thrown over the side! Its probably possible in St Tropez, Monaco, etc but the whole things terrifies me. You can probably gatecrash parties if modelesque enough.

Cultivate hobbies - horse riding, polo, ski-ing, summer schools overseas, yoga classes in London. Summer schools overseas are full of rich young things as they're not cheap. Lots of Americans at Harvard being sent for the summer, rich Swiss millionaires on the prowl, Chinese, etc..

But... advice wise:
Be very attractive. A wealthy man will be used to getting what he wants when he wants it. He isn't going to settle. But I am stereotyping.

Did your mum never encourage you to be rich in your own right @ApplesinmyPocket. She failed you, it's almost like she thought women can't be intelligent or rich via education and hard work. Did you have any other issues with her, she does sound. I'll.

Vile not ill ! 🙄

My dad went to Oxford , my mum liked him because he had a fancy car, they've been together for 50 years and my mum has never had to work. They have beautiful, strong marriage. Ignore judgement, do what makes you happy!

Honestly? You either have to be fairly stunning and be prepared to put up with someone older and considerable uglier.
Or
You can be a high flier and someone else said and be successful yourself. I took this route and unsurprisingly met a wealthy man which meant when I wanted a family I could take a step back in my career, which actually I’d never loved and had only pursued because it pays well (investment banking) and take some time out to be a SAHM and then when I felt like going back, going into something less stressful.
As it happens, he lost his job recently and I’m the “breadwinner” which we both find quite ironic especially as he is now doing the homeschooling but we have a fair amount of wealth accumulated so it doesn’t matter.
Most importantly marry someone you like and who makes you laugh and is your best friend. Otherwise it won’t last. I would readily admit that I’m lucky in that my husband is all of the above with the added bonus that he is also wealthy.

People are scoffing at this, but I had a friend who, whilst she had a good professional job herself, said she wanted to find someone wealthy and have a good lifestyle, no kids, she only dated City guys (hung around in City bars, dating agency with lots of City clients) and picked one, not the best looking, lovely person though, and married him. Job done. She still has her own successful career but as she told me at the time, she just knew her life would be better if she married someone well-off and that's the lifestyle she wanted.

nonamenonamenonameno I agree with your assessment. Most of the other reasonably wealthy (6 figure or more) couples I know met relatively early on and both were already career-driven and successful, then the man's career leapt ahead money-wise although sensibly my friends have kept their careers.

The wealthiest man I know (extremely rich) had a very beautiful wife, accomplished, many children, ex-model type...and gave it all up for a current model-looking type, no idea if he thinks this was a good move but I don't believe very wealthy men of a certain age are looking for women of the same age and success level at all, in fact, I would say they mostly go for the opposite (better looking than themselves, much less wealthy or successful). It's a deal, a transaction, everyone knows what they bring to the table. The chance of meeting and marrying a very wealthy man if you are a plain older lady is really low IMO; they are looking for 10-30 years younger!

My friends friend, I know her but not well, has made it very clear on her OLD that men who are low earners need not apply. She is not short of offers, but gets very pissed off when she finds out that she has shagged a bloke who lied about his income just to get his leg over.

So yes, she is definitely out to bag a rich man but is quite thick about it. Makes me laugh :o

Unfortunately you have to take a gamble on someone while you're both relatively young. You have no way of knowing how either of your careers will turn out.

I used to believe strongly that marrying for love was the be all and end all.

Now in my 30s with 2 DC, I often find myself fantasizing what my life would be like if I had married one of my boyfriends who I wasn't quite as attracted to as DH but who I know now earns a shit ton. Unfortunately 2 of them are utterly rolling in it and 1 is still single!

Not having to scrimp and save, having private school be an option, being able to buy a new build instead of a house that needs full renovation and having to frugally DIY it all... not buying clothes from Ebay.. being able to go on foreign holidays.. have a cleaner and maybe a nanny.. Yeah. I do find myself thinking I was quite, quite wrong in my convictions when I consider the monotonous impact money has on my day to day life, stress level, and what I can provide my DC for their quality of life.

But then again, being married to a man I wasn't really attracted to would be a special kind of hell, and you see it on MN a lot. And that would definitely not be good for any DC.

C'est la vie!

I dont consider myself wealthy. A few of my pals have serious money.

Some are earthy country sports types that married someone with similar life outlook and who would be happy living in isolated places in Scotland. Others are metropolitan, interested in politics and finance and club land (pall mall not ministry of sound) and married similar types of people. Others were interested in pills, coke and clubs and married similar people. One had an addiction issue and is engaged to someone who helped him through that and is good for keeping him on an even keel. I dont know anyone that married someone purely for looks.

I think most relationships last on the basis of shared interests.

Any woman I've ever known who has gone for rich men has never been happy and it all ends in tears.

They're smug for 5 minutes and then it all unravels as their life turns into one massive lie.

Rich men often have a habit of being devastatingly controlling in my experience. Be careful what you wish for!

As much as I fantasise about living a life of luxury, I’m not sure I’d ever feel comfortable with a high earner. I wouldn’t be able to pay my own way, unless we lived my modest lifestyle instead of his. I wouldn’t like to ask my partner for money, or feel as though I should be constantly showing him my gratitude.

Maybe it’s possible for for a rich person and a poor person to have a relationship in which they both feel equal, but I’m not sure.

[quote Simonstrousers]@RosesAndHellebores Yes, I do believe some have been fortunate enough to come from a similar background themselves..is that what’s it’s about.? Would they generally only really date/marry their ‘Type’ of people?[/quote]
Yes. I’m my experience. Unless they have had a midlife crisis and bagged a 20 year old.

My kids go private school. I’m working class. But all of my ‘school parent friends’ are married to people with very similar backgrounds. Class really is a thing.

Being an arse hole isn’t a class thing - it’s just an arsehole thing.