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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to bag a wealthy man?

555 replies

Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 20:44

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 22:32

[quote Simonstrousers]@justasking111 Yes, I have seen with some of the people for example in the ‘Mums group’ their partners work away a lot, these women seem happy though, they don’t have to worry about working or the electricity getting cut off, they also have nannies to help so can spend their time on hobbies or at the gym/with friends[/quote]
Absolutely. Before I knew I couldn't hack it, I networked with many people, men and women, who were away from family for weeks but it was okay because everyone was set up to cope financially.

I never wanted children so that didn't concern me but it is something you can't help noticing. The friends who call needing help with emergency childcare are never the ones with a lot of money, are they? Those people just pay the extra.

ekidmxcl · 13/01/2021 22:33

Go and hang out where they hang out and do what they do? But it would be better to get a man who likes to do what you like to do. What are your interests?

Neverdoubtilove · 13/01/2021 22:34

@nonamenonamenonameno its interesting and on reflection fairly accurate what you have observed

So what happens in the intellectually on par similar aged couple where neither really makes it? There must be quite a number since there arent that many multi millionaires

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 13/01/2021 22:35

Become friends with his partner,be the ow.I’ve seen that dynamic.duplicitous friend who is the ow

TatianaBis · 13/01/2021 22:36

@Simonstrousers

It’s really interesting. In retrospect I should have put a thread out asking people in this situation, what their lives were really like..I suppose that’s what I really wanted to know. A lot of it sounds pretty negative in all honesty.. I wonder if the wives in these situations fear that the men may go off with a younger woman etc? I’m guessing you’d have to to have fairly high self esteem to enter into a marriage where potentially lots of beautiful women were trying to land you
What their lives are like depends entirely on the type of people they are.

If you marry a wealthy man looking for a trophy - you may get replaced with a younger trophy. The shallower the person or grounds of the relationship the less likely it is to last. Depends how old he is though. If you're the 5th wife, 30 years younger he might have got tired of the divorces by then.

If you marry a wealthy man who's a nice person who happened to inherit it or made it through a career choice - he may genuinely want a life partner with shared interests.

enasharples01 · 13/01/2021 22:36

have you considered hanging around Harrods perhaps.

HelgaDownUnder · 13/01/2021 22:36

Why would you assume the women 'married wealthy men'?

Maybe they built wealth as a couple. Maybe the women are wealthy and the men are playboys?

SingingSands · 13/01/2021 22:37

I know someone who took a month off university, blew a load of money on hair, nails, tan, designer clothes and spent the month hanging around the known haunts of the local football teams to bag herself a footballer boyfriend.

It worked, she bagged a footballer and eventually she married him. She knew what she wanted, researched it, primed herself and set out with determination. She's had a nice life from it.

Cheeseandwin5 · 13/01/2021 22:38

I dont understand the cynical and condescening replies.
If someone said they wanted someone tall , or handsome or muscular, these would be acceptable, so why not rich.
Where do ppl think that saying we should only look for love, but then demand any man they date is 6ft plus body not see how ridiculously hypocrititcal this is.
Its human instinct to want a man who can protect and provide. lets keep the insincere shock to a minimum.

Toptotoeunicolour · 13/01/2021 22:39

I think a woman's aim should be to earn decent money herself, and marry someone of approximately equal financial standing. The first gives you confidence and buys you the luxury of freedom. The second will spare you a lot of imbalance in the relationship.
Get rich yourself if it matters so much to you. FGS.

Knickerthief1 · 13/01/2021 22:40

My friends niece was all about bagging a rich footballer. Her and her friends would spend all their earnings on their appearance and go to the nightclubs where the footballers hung out. Her friend bagged a footballer. She didn't manage it but turned down plenty of prospective relationships while pursuing her 'dream'. She's now forty and single and likely too old to have the family she wanted. Be careful what you wish for.

Toptotoeunicolour · 13/01/2021 22:41

Oh no don't hang round Harrods. That's full of rich married women being picked up by gigolos. No single rich men there.

TatianaBis · 13/01/2021 22:42

Harrods is full of tourists. OP lives abroad.

RosesAndHellebores · 13/01/2021 22:42

It's interesting op. Like a pp has said men who make a lot if money are very driven. For our first 25 years DH left the house at 7ish and was back at 9.30ish. If there was a big work issue when the dc were small he'd sometimes book into a hotel in London Sunday night to Friday to ensure no interruptions, crying babies, and 110% focus on the matter in hand. One year he was overseas more than in the UK. He didn't look at schools, attend parents' evenings (although got better once ds started playing competitive sport).

He didn't deal with house stuff and almost missed the birth of a baby. But fully supported me when I went back to work and took prof quals and did a Masters. He's sensible with money but not mean and I have never cleaned and he doesn't know the cleaners name but he is pernickety and anal and obsessive about his interests: music, cricket, wine, sailing.

He couldn't have done it without me and vice versa. And after 30 years I love him a little more each day and still every night he says I love you and says it again when he wakes up.

justasking111 · 13/01/2021 22:42

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Become friends with his partner,be the ow.I’ve seen that dynamic.duplicitous friend who is the ow
Someone I knew befriended the wife, became the other woman. The wife committed suicide. No-one saw that coming. Ironically he became ill shortly after he married the OW and died. Two deaths and one rich sad widow.

Sometimes If you want to keep this rich man, the children come second you need to keep an eye on this man so the kids go to boarding school, where their teachers pick up the pieces of these desperately sad children. I remember one child who had one birth mother and three step mothers. Absolutely bizarre.

movingonup20 · 13/01/2021 22:42

Tinder! Not kidding I bagged a multi millionaire that offered me everything - but I just didn't really fancy him so walked away

frumpety · 13/01/2021 22:45

'Bag' a man who is generous in spirit and wealth, otherwise it is pointless. Doesn't matter if he has £50 or £50,000,000 million in the bank if he doesn't think he should share it with you.

GordonsAliveAndEatsPies · 13/01/2021 22:46

Yes I will join those who say you make a big assumption it’s the mans money. It could just as easily be hers. I definitely have more asset wealth than my husband that predates our relationship by quite a long way. However, he is my best friend, we signed a pre nup and we have since made more money together.

I will tell you this lesson I learned coming from money. You can smell someone who is just after the cash a mile off. Don’t ever think you can’t.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 13/01/2021 22:46

My experience of this is wealthy men met their partner at work. Similar professional background and intellectually matched.Both maintain professional careers and consolidate the wealth.

Those men who met and marry a woman from work , she steps back from a career. He unencumbered carries on working. Wife home, with kids and the big house. Often have Distant but together lives with the core purpose being to raise children

Those men who marry a smart woman,who he compel to stay home. He works and has affairs.The best friend affair is a common dalliance the duplicitous best friend who’s having an affair and is the OW behind her mates back

NiceGerbil · 13/01/2021 22:48

OP this woman was part of a very wealthy couple (although who made the money I don't know) and it really doesn't sound like a bed of roses...

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-44949856

Original poster
Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:50

@GordonsAliveAndEatsPies I said. a few times I’m talking specifically about the scenarios where the man is the wealthy one.

@Cheeseandwin5 I agree, especially when children come along too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:51

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee That’s awful.

OP posts:
Goldieloxx · 13/01/2021 22:52

I earn a good salary and so does my husband but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish he was richer, who wouldn't? And it's perfectly possible to be rich, in love and happy, it's not either/or

Original poster
Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:54

@Goldieloxx Exactky

OP posts:
Original poster
Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:54

*Exactly

OP posts: