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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to bag a wealthy man?

555 replies

Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 20:44

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

OP posts:
Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:03

@VestaTilley I have qualifications and a decent job 👍

OP posts:
Andante57 · 13/01/2021 22:06

@RickOShay

Wealth can ruin people. It is a kind of fake protection, so people don’t have to dig deep. This is inherited wealth. It makes people unreal and sometimes callous or simply completely unaware. Ivory tower.
So all people who inherit wealth are either unreal, or callous or simply unaware. Good stereotyping there. Have you met every single person who is rich through inherited wealth?
Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:07

@mswales No, I agree with you, I wish life were truly like this though 💓

OP posts:
NataliaOsipova · 13/01/2021 22:08

Would they generally only really date/marry their ‘Type’ of people?

Date? No. Marry? Yes. And if you’re talking about self made wealth (business/City types), they’re looking for someone who’s on their wavelength intellectually. (You may occasionally find one who is shallow and wants a trophy wife, but then you’re talking model stunning, not just conventionally attractive).

Ldnmum7 · 13/01/2021 22:10

Go for the geeks! The flash wealthy ones are usually players (or they were in my days of being single)
Go for the quiet unassuming guys. That's how I met my husband. He wasn't wealthy then but ambitious (as was I). We met through work. I'm definitely plain and boring but so is he.

Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:11

It’s really interesting. In retrospect I should have put a thread out asking people in this situation, what their lives were really like..I suppose that’s what I really wanted to know. A lot of it sounds pretty negative in all honesty..
I wonder if the wives in these situations fear that the men may go off with a younger woman etc? I’m guessing you’d have to to have fairly high self esteem to enter into a marriage where potentially lots of beautiful women were trying to land you

OP posts:
RickOShay · 13/01/2021 22:11

@Andante57
No! Not everybody, but inherited wealth isn’t always a positive. Of course sometimes it’s great.

Labobo · 13/01/2021 22:12

Surely if most people were completely honest, this is the dream?

This is so so sad. My dream, no more or less likely than OP bagging a millionaire, is to get incredibly rich from my own efforts. The money all mine, the access to it all mine, the conditions of who I have to be and how I have to dress, behave in order to enjoy it, all mine again. How could anyone's ultimate ambition be to bag a wealthy man? If it's a fantasy anyway, why not bag your own wealth.

Two female friends of mine are multi-millionaires. Both from their own efforts, but neither of them slaved crazy hours, just did the right thing at the right time. Neither of them have worked in order to earn a living for years though both of them work for love of what they do. Both of them are lovely, generous women.

Ultimateblends · 13/01/2021 22:14

Read most of these and nobody has seemed to say, also, don't belive everything you see..

A family member of mine met a 'wealthy business man'

They were looking at houses together, he had her leave her job to help with his business, he was kind, generous, funny - had amazing cars, seemingly madly in love with her.

5 years on and shes being made bankrupt, having put all her savings into the failing business.
The cars etc are no more- and turned out were leased in the first place.
The houses never materialised, they still live in her rented house.

He still maintains he has money that will magically appear - she has no career and her friendship circle has sunk, she really is in a ever sinking ship but stuck.

We think she wanted what you have stated op, the security of a man with money.

What she got was her independence robbed from her, and a life where she can see no get out.
I bet she would trade anything to go back to her previous, life within its means.

All that glitters is not gold, is a mantra to remember.

((They met on holiday, btw, op))

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 13/01/2021 22:15

*Well DH is very wealthy now. He wasn't when we met. I bagged him because he was very clever, loyal, kind and my type. Oh and we had shared values, politics and religion.>>whispers gently

bridgetreilly · 13/01/2021 22:15

I would just wait until the article appears in the Daily Mail to find out, tbh.

bluecheesefan · 13/01/2021 22:16

@nonamenonamenonameno

Ok, so I live in this world.

The ones with wives of a similar age to themselves usually met them through work, with the wife being of a similar intellect, education and in a similar career at the start. The husband's career has taken off much later, and usually at the expense of the wife's, as she has had make all the compromises when it comes to family life.

The one's with a much younger wife are usually on their second or third marriage/relationship to someone they met at work, who was in a much lower tier job. Quite often someone from admin, or HR. Pretty much all start out as an affair (in fact quite often the wealthy man you see out with the much younger woman isn't with his wife. She's at home, oblivious). Some are very sweet, pretty women, with possibly low self esteem who are very subordinate to their DHs. Some are quite cut throat women who went after what they wanted offering a lot of sex and glamour. I guess either route works Grin

However, all that glitters isn't gold. Successful wealthy men aren't (usually) just born like that. They are focused, driven, and often obsessive. It can be very lonely is such a marriage, stuck at home with the dcs while they spend every minute of their time working, networking, or burning off steam doing a hobby. Such men nearly always have a hobby.

Oh, and the other thing, wealthy men are often very tight when it comes to spending money (that's how they stay wealthy). So you might live in mansion, but after you've spent years of your life cleaning it (because DH doesn't see why he should pay for a cleaner when he has a wife) you'd probably quite happily trade for a nice 4 bed.

Disclaimer: 1: I have no idea about those who have inherited wealth or got rich quick very young through football etc, the ones I know are highly educated and self made.

Such men nearly always have a hobby.

And it is nearly always golf. Or entertaining their rich friends clients on their yacht in the south of France.

Labobo · 13/01/2021 22:16

FWIW, one of my incredibly wealthy friends is also extraordinarily beautiful. But she married a short, plain man who she adores. They just clicked. They had very similar attitudes to life. Now he is as successful as she was when they first met.

Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:16

@Labobo Yes, I did post that, that was in fact the ultimate dream of course, but much less likely sadly, having entered a worthy and noble career, that doesn’t pay oartucukatky well.

OP posts:
Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:16

*Particularly

OP posts:
ChewtonRoad · 13/01/2021 22:17

how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice? Truthfully, I would not prefer a wealthy man.

My mum said "it's as easy to marry a rich man as a poor one" - but she did not, and my parents were happy until my father died. I earned more than my ex husband, but I didn't divorce him because of money.

One of my sisters was married to a gold plated cock lodging dick with bags of money. I would not have traded places with her as no matter the amount of money they had, living with him would have been intolerable.

Most of these women are set up for life, it’s an easier life is it not?! I'm not sure it's an easier life if you sell your soul for it. Can you keep a roof over your head and food in your stomach along with a few extras? If so then be pleased with what you've done and ensure you can look after yourself because ultimately no one else is going to.

justasking111 · 13/01/2021 22:19

Wealthy men in general work very hard are not home to help with the children or for family crisis of any kind. Get set to be very lonely if you choose to have children.

Tsubasa1 · 13/01/2021 22:20

Google Anna Nicole Smith

Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:22

@bridgetreilly Why would it?

OP posts:
SarahBellam · 13/01/2021 22:23

Get rich yourself then you won’t need to bother trying to bag one. Instead you get to pick whoever you want.

Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 22:25

@justasking111 Yes, I have seen with some of the people for example in the ‘Mums group’ their partners work away a lot, these women seem happy though, they don’t have to worry about working or the electricity getting cut off, they also have nannies to help so can spend their time on hobbies or at the gym/with friends

OP posts:
Twilightstarbright · 13/01/2021 22:26

@Simonstrousers We aren't millionaires but DH is in a City job on 6 figures. We met as grads and he progressed whilst I quit and retrained.

It's nice having money- we don't argue about it generally and it isn't a cause of stress. But that's because we don't spend it all! His colleagues live in swanky houses in fancy areas with huge mortgages, we have a nice three bed in the suburbs that we love but noone would call swanky.

DH's job dominates to some extent. Short notice late nights, working when on holiday, very high intensity. We'd only have both been able to continue working in this job with a live in Nanny, which I didn't want.

Some of my friends said they wanted a rich guy when we were in our 20s. I pointed out that they'd probably need to lower their standards physically, have a decent job themselves and accept that the guy might be working all hours. I've also had to move abroad more than once to help DH progress his career. We see ourselves as a team and we contribute equally.

Is that the sort of thing you wanted to know?
TLDR: met DH as a grad. Wealth accumulated over time. He works a lot.

Ferrylights · 13/01/2021 22:26

A friend of mine joined a website looking for exactly this, a wealthy man who would keep her in the lap of luxury and that is exactly what she got. A 5m house in the country, brand new Porsche 4x4, luxury holidays at least 8 times a year, a gardener, you name it he's paid for it. She has sex with him in return.
Is she happy ? Yes, it's what she always wanted, to be looked after and secure and walk in wardrobe bigger than my entire house. Wether it will last is another matter, no sign of a wedding ring yet :)

If he lost it all tomorrow she would disappear faster than Trump's wig in a hurricane

Cleverpolly3 · 13/01/2021 22:30

@Kinlocrhum

Join a tennis club when they reopen. I recommend Queens or the Hurlingham. Keep your nails groomed, pale polish preferably. No roots. Wax. Quality handbag. Good luck.
Quite brilliant. Grin
NamechangedHelpPlease · 13/01/2021 22:30

Money doesn't appeal to me. I earn my own and have enough for my needs and wants. I'd rather have health and love.