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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to bag a wealthy man?

555 replies

Simonstrousers · 13/01/2021 20:44

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 13/01/2021 21:33

I presume the thread is slightly tongue-in-cheek.

I guess there’s many women who deliberately frequent the clubs that premium league footballers go to, in order to bag a footballer.

Some wealthy men weren’t wealthy when they got married.

Katherine is often accused of changing universities to bag Prince William.

sparticuscaticus · 13/01/2021 21:33

[quote Simonstrousers]@CONNIE..Well, read the replies 🤣

It’s not really my ambition and is slightly tongue in cheek. I perhaps should have posed the question asking what type of women are married to wealthy men and what it’s like 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
Aha!!!

Sorry OP, I should have guessed it was tongue in cheek Grin

So the answer is don't know
Maybe those specific wealthy men you speak of aren't shallow and the normal looking women they married are bloody nice wonderful people who are interesting to be around, exciting with their own lives, to lead and don't need the men and the men adore them because of it

I have no answers other than some men who earn a lot of money move on to younger pretty models that they can control and it's a round of affairs on both sides

Far better to aim for an equal supportive relationship, regardless of money

Some rich men spend more than they earn so you aren't richer or more secure

WiseOwlRelaxing · 13/01/2021 21:35

I think men notice things like if you own yr own house, have a decent job.... no man has ever said "a loewe how much did that set you back"

IABUQueen · 13/01/2021 21:35

Marry a smart career driven man.
Put your own life and career on hold to help him progress his. Let him throw money at house chores and parenting so that he feels he contributed to the relationship while maintaining his full focus on his career.

Then live the rest of your life regretting that you lost your identity in the process.

Fuckety · 13/01/2021 21:37

You can have my ex if you want - he’s rich, generous and non-offensive. You’ll want to slit your wrists from sheer boredom within a couple of months though.

AthelstaneTheUnready · 13/01/2021 21:37

Really large butterfly net and a blue steak.

FortunesFave · 13/01/2021 21:39

I knew a girl who wanted to marry a rich man. She did things like take massage courses and cooking courses.

Like a concubine might.

Elsielouise13 · 13/01/2021 21:40

@Simonstrousers

Would those of you who know wealthy men, would you say the majority are arseholes?( all the talk of trading them in for younger models etc) Are there any kind ones out there who happen to offer some form of stability (no, not the materialistic bullshit like shoes and bags) and they just fell in love?

Surely if most people were completely honest, this is the dream?

My social group are mostly professionals working in London. High earners in pressurised jobs mostly. They are people, no more or less wankery than anyone else in my experience.

I THINK we were possibly all a bit more wankery when we were single, high earning and living in our Zone 1 lofts, but we grew out of that mostly. Fortunately.

Wobblywombat · 13/01/2021 21:41

Interesting post. I would say the distribution of nice vs not nice people among the rich is similar to that among the poor and everyone in the middle.

So yes, if you fall in love with a wealthy ma. Who happens to also be kind, good for you.

That said, nice people tend to attract more prtbers than not nice people. So chances are that by the time a nice person has earned a fortune they have also already attracted a partner and started a family if they wish to do that.
Don’t know many nice and successful guys who held out from committing to their partners until they were middle aged. Those who did hold out among my friends and acquaintances often turned out to he the kind of guys who “traded in for a younger model” or were not able to be faithful.

Generalising here...

AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 21:42

@Gwenhwyfar

"Being willing to massage his ego and do his laundry and cooking."

But if he's rich is the laundry and cooking really an issue? He could easily pay someone to do that.

This actually reminded me of how much weird judgement there is out there

I was dating a man with a housekeeper, it's not the sort of thing that comes up in conversation, but I started looking unusually immaculate at work and it was because the lovely housekeeper steamed my suits as well as his.

A few colleagues commented that a man who had a housekeeper must be Very Bad and Hopelessly Undomesticated and not know what real life was etc etc.

People are weird.

2021hastobebetter · 13/01/2021 21:42

I married someone very wealthy -but he didn't live like that.
In the end one of his many negative qualities was squeezing and drying tea bags and the attempt to use one ten times, cutting open toothpaste tubes and scraping out anything inside -and encouraging the children to do the same. Not using the hoover as it 'used electricity' and making sure to use a brush -on carpets and your hands. The list goes on.

DishedUp · 13/01/2021 21:43

They 'bagged' these men the same way anyone else 'bags' their man OP. They met, they got on. I suspect they didnt spend their time writing threads on how to bag rich men

In my experience no not all wealthy men are arseholes, but there is a certain type of arrogant, business man whose really not worth the time of day. They don't need their egos massaging any further by having women chasing after them

RosesAndHellebores · 13/01/2021 21:44

IABUQueen I think I did thatGrin. But then I earnt 6 figures before DC, had 8 years off retrained and earn 6 figures again. Meanwhile DH has paid to sub-contract most chores. I wholly supported him and kept the home fires burning but retained my identity. It has been worth every minute of the last almost 30 years.

We have had different loads at different times but have always been a partnership.

AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 21:44

@Fuckety

You can have my ex if you want - he’s rich, generous and non-offensive. You’ll want to slit your wrists from sheer boredom within a couple of months though.
Is he quiet? Does he run errands? Will he largely keep out of the way but be useful in terms of buying a house and being a friend? I might actually still consider that.
ChomptheDino · 13/01/2021 21:45

You’re in the right location for a start.

Firstly find a single one. That will be hard because if he is single it’s because he’s just divorced (baggage and skint, pretending to still have money), or too much of a playboy to marry.

You’ll need to be highly attractive in a way that makes you stand out from all the other highly attractive women. And I don’t mean in a you’re a redhead in a sea of blondes type way.Natural poise and intelligence would give you that edge over the other women perhaps.

Play very hard to get, and the long, long game. New rich men are already entitled so think they can buy whatever they want. Make them earn it.

Get yourself seen. You need membership to the yacht club, casinos, tennis clubs, top restaurants, etc (I’m assuming you’re in Marbella or Monaco) so muscle in with other women also in all these clubs and Friend Up.

Be gracious and genuine always, and have an interest that makes you interesting to men. Not shopping or sports necessarily, something more unusual, preferably practical rather than creative. Go on a sailing course, plenty of single older men in that world. Drive a ratty old Land Rover instead of a slinky sports car.

Never mention children or marriage as they’ll run a mile before the starter pistol.

It’s completely possible, but those ‘plain boring wives’ probably weren’t any of the above, because this is new money you’re talking about going after, and those men started from scratch with nothing and already had a loving woman.

If you want single, old money, hang about down the sailing clubs or become an art gallery assistant. Men who are allowed to buy their own expensive interior decor are definitely rich and single.

UndyingDeathdefying · 13/01/2021 21:45

My fil told his children “it’s just as easy to marry a rich one as a poor one”

RickOShay · 13/01/2021 21:46

Wealth can ruin people. It is a kind of fake protection, so people don’t have to dig deep. This is inherited wealth. It makes people unreal and sometimes callous or simply completely unaware. Ivory tower.

Fluffycloudland77 · 13/01/2021 21:46

Nothing wrong with wanting money at all.

I would say being gorgeous and going out to the places they go would help.

AcornAutumn · 13/01/2021 21:49

@RickOShay

Wealth can ruin people. It is a kind of fake protection, so people don’t have to dig deep. This is inherited wealth. It makes people unreal and sometimes callous or simply completely unaware. Ivory tower.
Ruin them from whose perspective?
TatianaBis · 13/01/2021 21:49

It depends which country you're in.

Spain - the wealthy crowd can be quite philistine so you'd join the local gym, health club, golf club, go to the chichi wine bars where the wealthy men hang out.

Italy - much more cultured - you'd join the local art/architecture society, history society, wine club, riding club, wild boar hunting etc.

France - could be either depending where you are - around Cannes/St Tropez - see Spain, around Aix/ St Remy see Italy.

Dubai - I'd probably come home tbh.

RosesAndHellebores · 13/01/2021 21:50

My mother always told me it was better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable but far easier to be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy.

RickOShay · 13/01/2021 21:50

@AcornAutumn
Their own I think. They don’t know themselves.

TatianaBis · 13/01/2021 21:51

General principle - if you want a nice wealthy man - meet him at work or via a shared cultural interest.

If you want a shallow wealthy man looking for a trophy - meet him in the gym or a bar.

PinkPiranha11 · 13/01/2021 21:51

My DH has a successful business. We’re not mega rich at all but most people would say we are comfortably wealthy I guess. In the next ten years if things continue (as long as covid pisses off!) we might be wealthier. We met as students at uni and struggled on together like most people through our 20s. I’m from a very working class background and still have no airs & graces. I didn’t set out to bag him at all! I possibly recognised that on some level he could be successful as he had the right attributes.
Interesting thread for 2021 Biscuit

MYNAMEISIKEA1 · 13/01/2021 21:52

@2021hastobebetter

WTH I'm intrigued, what else would he do?
I cant stand a cheapskate, I appreciate people that spend wisely but cheapskates piss me off.

What would he spend money on?