How to bag a wealthy man?

[Simonstrousers]

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

I don't think the Hurlingham is a meeting place for those on the hunt tbh. Nice though - dh proposed at The Hurlingham Ball .

OP what I think you have to do is focus on your career, be kind, Foster your own interests and live a good life in a home you enjoy and where you are at peace. That way even if you never meet a man, wealthy or otherwise, you will have your own life, well lived

@Simonstrousers

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice? How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for? I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain. How go these women generally end up with these men?

I'd choose a rich man, any day of the week.

I have no idea how the women you describe end up with rich men, OP, but my experience suggests:

Being pretty (or average plus)

Being younger than the man concerned.

Being willing to massage his ego and do his laundry and cooking.

I have no problem with any of these things, btw. Just stating facts.

@AcornAutumn

I suppose you are correct to some extent. There is a certain kind of man who wants to present a certain kind of woman as his partner who will see it as a negotiation.

I suppose I didn’t consider that because hell would freeze over before I’d be interested in that kind of man.
However- it’s probably exactly the kind of man ops looking for!!

I don't know all that many people in the financial league you're describing (multimillion pound houses, swimming pools etc.). I know one couple who have just bought a huge house in the county and that's a combination of well-paying jobs for both of them (he works for a hedge fund, she's a corporate lawyer) and family money on both sides. So I wouldn't exactly say she "bagged" a rich husband.

I know quite a number of couples where either one or both of them earn six figure salaries. Most of them met at university or in the early years of working in the same or similar industries. Generally, if the wife doesn't work or has a much lower-paid job, the shift occurred after they had children as it was difficult to managed two jobs with long and unpredictable hours at that point. I don't know anyone who didn't work prior to having children.

Knit them

Not saying anything new here but my experience is that it’s usually one of three things:

1. The woman is younger and attractive (although quite often just younger).
2. They met through work - often the woman was pretty high-flying herself but gave it up when they had kids and the husband has become more successful by virtue of having a SAHM.
3. They are both from wealthy backgrounds and met socially.

Obviously there will always be exceptions but that’s broadly speaking been my experience.

Same circles, tend to be posh, private schools or elite universities

Otherwise the self made ones would have met before they were made, same as the ones who didnt "make it"

@IheartJKR No, it definitely isn’t.

"Being willing to massage his ego and do his laundry and cooking."

But if he's rich is the laundry and cooking really an issue? He could easily pay someone to do that.

@Kinlocrhum

Join a tennis club when they reopen. I recommend Queens or the Hurlingham. Keep your nails groomed, pale polish preferably. No roots. Wax. Quality handbag. Good luck.

I don’t know any man ever who has ever noticed my handbag or my nails.. actually ok one noticed my nails ( he had a red nail polish fetish) and my colleague would notice my handbags ( because he has to buy them for his wife) this thread is pretty terrible

Most of the women I know married to wealthy men either:

1. Met them when they weren’t wealthy and supported them in starting businesses / building their wealth;

1. Met them through their careers and these women are equally well off and/or were on a trajectory to be equally wealthy were it not for having children

1. Went after the footballer/ entertainment types - and these women were young, slim, pretty, glamorous and well groomed when they met. They targeted these men by going to the right nightclubs and high end social events. I know because I spent my early 20s doing this I’m ashamed to say (my friend was dating an Arsenal footballer at the time so introduced me to that world). I’m glad now I didn’t marry someone through this means but each to their own.

1. Met during the wealthy man’s mid-life crisis when he was trading his ageing wife who he met either through number (1), (2), or (3) for a younger model.

"OP what I think you have to do is focus on your career, be kind, Foster your own interests and live a good life in a home you enjoy and where you are at peace. That way even if you never meet a man, wealthy or otherwise, you will have your own life, well lived"

Yes, OP be kind and have a peaceful home. This is obviously the path to happiness!

Be a wealthy self made woman.

@Simonstrousers

It’s not actually about materialism as I have no desire for designer bags or shoes. Having seen many friends end up in shitty situations with their marriages and being left to struggle financially, at least these women will be ok, especially if you have children, doesn’t that instinct become stronger? It’s a cynical old world.

Erm... you know very wealthy men get prenups, the wife might not come out of it ok but the children might. If they are savvy the men set up trusts for the children ex wives can’t touch.

Ugh...what a depressing thread.

As a woman that has a reasonable amount of wealth, I wouldn't date anyone who had a substantially lower income / education than me. I deliberately live a really low key lifestyle to detract people like you.

I’d be happy with someone who loved me and had the same approach to life/money/relationships as me.

Would money be nice? Of course. But I’d rather it was mine and it certainly wouldn’t be a factor in choosing a partner.

That said, I’d run a mile from a new potential partner who was in lots of debt or had issues with gambling.

Been there. Done that. Dreadful times.

Op.

You need to focus on you. Be ambitious - keep fit - keep educating yourself - learn new things. Believe in yourself and invest in yourself.

Be a rich woman fgs

"I don’t know any man ever who has ever noticed my handbag or my nails.. actually ok one noticed my nails ( he had a red nail polish fetish) and my colleague would notice my handbags ( because he has to buy them for his wife) grin this thread is pretty terrible"

Men do notice hands and nails imo. I remember being around a group of men I knew talking about a mutual female acquaintance and they were talking about how pretty she was, but how big her hands were. I remember being surprised they'd noticed and one of them answered 'we notice everything, it's just that we may not comment on it'.

As for handbags, some of these things are subconscious aren't they. Someone might intuit that a handbag is expensive without consciously being interested in handbag styles.

Hmmm, have actually always dated wealthy men. Am mid 30s and earn 6 figures myself. DH also on 6 figures in his 50s.

Am now scratching my head as to how I met them all: partly it was through going to a top uni (lots of upper class privilege going on), then I moved into the City and dated lawyers, fund managers etc. DH in similar field - but my career and earning capacity is just as important as his. In fact, I now slightly out-earn him and will probably continue to do so by quite some margin, assuming my career continues its recent upwards trajectory (not a given).

I didn't intend to date only wealthy (inherited and/or earned) men. They just happened to be who I met and got on with and in some cases fell in love with.

I do know they all loved that my ambition, drive and success matched their own though. Or at least this is what they all said!

Fake being one of them for a while. Subtly.

I’m a well educated woman with a good job..butttt..it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever be wealthy.

A man like that is hard to find but I can't get him off my mind
Ain't it sad
And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me
That's too bad
So I must leave, I'll have to go
To Las Vegas or Monaco
And win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same...

Would those of you who know wealthy men, would you say the majority are arseholes?( all the talk of trading them in for younger models etc)
Are there any kind ones out there who happen to offer some form of stability (no, not the materialistic bullshit like shoes and bags) and they just fell in love?

Surely if most people were completely honest, this is the dream?

Obviously the absolute dream is you are able to earn your own money to very wealthy status yourself, come from that background or have worked your way up together..these situations are pretty rare though!