How to bag a wealthy man?

[Simonstrousers]

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

im happy on my own ,but honestly id prefer to be with somebody rich as well lol, however how you go about actually achieving this is beyond me , i imagine most women that snag these wealthy men move in the same circles or met them when they were young before they made their money

he was attracted to my SOH and the way I carried myself around the office and he particularly admired the way that I 'handled' and humbled the C-suite exec in the boardroom and on the floor. Feminine but firm...Married now 18yrs our collective wealth is now beyond our dreams. I now run my own small consultancy firm and I employee 30 people and he runs a hedge fund. My advice is to be the best version of yourself and be specific about what you want and make sure you bring your A game to the table

I can just imagine the convo where he told you this, and you sat there taking it in, mentally recording it to trot it out in a situation just like this. N.B. There are some things that really should just be kept between the couple concerned, even on an anonymous forum.

And I wonder - ‘be specific about about what you want’. I do not disagree.

Did you ‘specially want’ someone with mental health and other issues that would add a huge layer of complexity to your life?

Because if one were to ‘be specific about what one wants’, I imagine - for most people - it would be an easy-going, socially adept man with a great SOH, and who rolls with the punches. Not one with a variety of complex issues.

But maybe that’s just me.

How on earth do you know that the money is coming from the man. Maybe you’re looking at a man who has ‘snagged’ a rich woman?

"I don't know any men that care how wealthy prospective partners are or what jobs they have

This is so true IMO, but people always deny it on here for some reason."

Half true, I'd say. What I do think is that men aren't as impressed by professionally successful women as women are with men or as some successful women would like them to be.

On the other hand, I've known men reject women as potential girlfriends because of their jobs/education level. It will be euphemised as 'not having enough in common', but in at least two cases, it was very clear they just saw her as beneath them.

My DP is wealthy. I didn’t know this when I met him and it was never really important to me so didn’t immediately notice. He doesn’t have particularly materialistic tastes. It did become noticeable when we started going on holidays and I simply cannot afford the holidays he went on. I have a good job but nothing compared to him. He paid for everything as he wanted me to come on holiday. We have been together six years and it still is uncomfortable for me to accept that he funds our lifestyle I don’t mean clothes,bags,cars. He is not interested in the slightest and if anyone who didn’t know him saw him you would not think him to have money. Quite the opposite. I would not recommend meeting someone already wealthy if you are independent as it has been the cause of many arguments with us over the years.

Actually, how wealthy op? Oligarch/Hedgie or just a good professional wage? To be entirely fair in London a couple on just over a joint income of £200k is comfortable middle class bracket and likely one could not stop working without a massive impact on life style.

I honestly don't know the answers op. Our DC who went to the best schools and are at aforementioned uni's couldn't give a care in the world but have the privilege of choice. One is likely to be an academic so will never earn a fortune and the other we will see. I can't see either of them marrying outside their intellect and perhaps that is the key.

But what I'm not sure about is how rich you really mean. I think you mean something beyond the wealth of two conjoined lives lived cautiously which allow a union to build on a little inherited and professional wealth. DH spent much of his career involved with corporate and individual wealth - the realms of which are seriously eye watering. He reports very few trophy wives and it could make an interesting research project to establish whether the wives or the wealth of such men endure the least. In my experience and observations, the steadier types make the most money.

The gals with "umbrellars"
Are always out with fellers
In the rain or the blazing sun
But a man never trifles
With gals who carry rifles
Oh you can't get a man with a gun.

Jesus this makes me want to burn my bra.

My DH isn't fabulously wealthy but his brains and hard work have given us a good lifestyle and will yield a comfortable retirement. We've also been careful and planned our savings. He married him because frankly he was gorgeous. But didn't know it. And was clever and Interesting and funny in a slightly autistic way (he is in fact autistic). And I could trust him and he was happy in his own skin. All those things. And 25 years on they still hold true. The comfortable lifestyle was not something I cottoned on to at all. So I'd say relax, see what comes up from your fishing expeditions. Someone may surprise you

FYI...I discovered the extent of my husbands MH issues when we were too far in, married and one child down, I put his 'quirks' down to his odd but utterly charming and intelligent character ..and no I would not have gone ahead had I known about it because I had other suitors and besides I would not have felt qualified enough to deal with it.....but love came first then lots of therapy and we are doing pretty well now, thanks for your concern🙂

You marry them when they're young and poor.

I think some woman activity seek a wealthy man.

I know of a gold digger who will call X . X got involved with Y a man who she thought was a good long term bet with his own home, good job and money in the bank.
X got pregnant within a few months.
Well she discovered that all was not as good as she thought within a few years. He told her he would have to sell his house due to pay off debits and a tax bill which was in total about 1/4 of the value of his house.

Then they both told people that they decided to move. Friends were told we looked in a,b,c. They ended up in d which is further away from work and the cheapest area they looked at.

I heard recently that he now has several health issues. They have not got married despite having a child and living together for several years.

Unless they get married or get proper tax advice the person left behind after one of them died could end up with a large tax bill.

I have heard of several cases of parents who are wealthy stepping in and finding out about their child's boyfriend/girlfriend. One woman found out that her son was not the father of his pregnant girlfriends child. She got involved with a friend of his but wanted to stay with the 1st guy due to his family's wealth. His mother stopped her plan's.

A lot of people met others in university/work or through friends. Wealthy or successful men or women will generally seek out some one educated or similar to themselves in values, interests and what they want long term.
People like this can generally spot someone who's interested in them as a person or who sees them as a meal ticket and act on what they see.

@FriedTomatoe

As a woman that has a reasonable amount of wealth, I wouldn't date anyone who had a substantially lower income / education than me. I deliberately live a really low key lifestyle to detract people like you.

I took the same approach when I started OLD.

This is a quote from one of my favourite songs OP, Simple Things by Paolo Nutini:

"My father is a wealthy, self made man,
But his wealth does not consist of riches or acres of land.
Instead he has a family who are
His biggest fans
That's something that I one day hope to have.
So I'll cherish the simple things,
The easy took for granted things,
Like going round my Mum's house for my tea
And argue with my sister,
Only God knows how I missed her
It's the simple things that mean the most to me"

It's easy to say "I'd rather be poor but happy" etc, but I'll never forget the wise words of a friend of mine. She was in severe financial difficulties and faced losing her home. She said to me that even if she ended up living in a cardboard box with her husband and son, by the following week she'd have curtains in the cardboard box, and then a carpet the following week! A bit extreme, but you get the gist I'm sure.

I’m not going to judge the op for wanting a wealthy man, but I think it’s the wrong quality to focus on if you want stability and security.

Personally having a partner with good earning capacity, a strong work ethic and an instinct to provide for and protect his family are important for me. Build a relationship on a foundation of respect, shared values and vision with a man who isn’t lazy or feckless.

There are lots of threads on MN by women who earn well, and are financially comfortable, dealing with cocklodgers and users.

I also believe that there is a sweet spot of financial security and comfort. Too much money comes with its own problems, just as much too little.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in having strong views and boundaries about who you want to share your life with. And who you will not. But think carefully about what you want out of life and whether your choices are truly moving towards that.

For a couple of months in my twenties, I was moving in circles with young men who were privately educated, had good prospects and spent their holidays on yachts or ski resorts. Their attitudes to women were too grim for my tastes. I’m not suggesting all wealthy people are like that but don’t let wealth blind you to character. Because when life gets tough, and it will at some point, character is what will see you through.

You will get replaced in 10 years by some one half your age so why bother. Pull your finger out and earn your own wealth

@GodOfPhwoar

Aren't there Websites dedicated to this very cause ? So there must be a market for women looking for 'wealthy' men and men looking for women of a particular calibre ... if 'calibre' is even the right word.. not sure how these sites works of course but it can't be any more complicated than Facebook right 🤔

The website you're looking for is the infamous 'Seeking Arrangement'.

aahhhhh okay.... sounds very 'clinical' 🤣

Can you keep a roof over your head and food in your stomach along with a few extras? If so then be pleased with what you've done and ensure you can look after yourself because ultimately no one else is going to.

There you go, OP. Wind your neck in, eh? Just aim for the basics. Because someone on here thinks you should.

Good job you posted light heartedly, because you’ll be able to laugh at the extreme sanctimony on this thread. All the posters queuing up to tell you that you’re better off being poor but happy. As if wealth and happiness were mutually exclusive. More likely they are seeking to validate their own choices, but would be very happy if their own husband were richer.

However, should you chance to marry a wealthy man, despite not being born to the landed gentry, or not being drop dead gorgeous, or not working in a high flying career, or not having metaphorically bought your lottery ticket by finding a husband when you were young and neither of you earned much, you should still BEWARE! Because your children will probably be kidnapped and your husband will never be home and he’ll probably leave you for an Eastern European woman anyway etc etc.

It’s hilarious! I can hear the tut tutting from here.

I'm in my sixties and part of a close knit group of old school friends of much the same age. Two of our group married men who somewhat unexpectedly became very wealthy. They are both very happy, have easy lives, travel a lot. I suspect this is because they married for love, before the good fortune arose (one of them married the overweight teenager none of us found attractive enough to date, he is now quite a hunk and very well off!)
There have been no divorces at all in our group. Driven ambitious men don't seem to be in the happiest of marriages.

Have some self-respect, a brain and don’t plan at sitting at home being a SaHM spending their money. That’s what my male friends who are well off want.

For them, there is nothing worse than thinking a potential girlfriend will become a SAHM once they have kids. Work ethic is a huge thing.

I turned down an incredibly wealthy man from one of England’s oldest families for dh. No regrets.

@Lammergeier

This thread is gross.

My husband is not wealthy and likely never will be. But he is kind, handsome, thoughtful, loyal, funny, hardworking, a good lover and a wonderful dad. He contributes half of the domestic labour and child rearing duties. He cares for me during periods when my depression makes me hard to live with and understand.

That’s worth a million millionaires to me.

Actually OP, this is the type of man that many women want to “ bag”.

🤣😂

Please don’t assume what most women want. I do not want a wealthy man because I don’t want the only thing between me and poverty to be some bloke. I want me own life, my own money, my own choices.

Please don’t assume what most women want. I do not want a wealthy man because I don’t want the only thing between me and poverty to be some bloke. I want me own life, my own money, my own choices.

It is possible to do both, you know. To have financial independence and your own life AND be married to somebody wealthy.