How to bag a wealthy man?

[Simonstrousers]

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

But I suppose that acknowledging that detracts from the ‘poor but honest heroine of Barbara Taylor Bradford novel of the 1980s’ narrative.

@sparticuscaticus

Seriously This is a terrible thread

This thread should be on a board for feminists.

Amazing thread!

Actually very interesting

I agree that if you marry for money, you will be miserable. Nothing is worse than being financially dependent on someone for whom you have no respect and vice versa.

BUT.....and this is a big BUT... Money gives choices, security and leisure. It is silly to ignore this. I grew up in a house with parents who loved each other very much but who were often strapped for cash. They both had equivalent jobs (professional but not highly paid), worked the same hours and earned roughly the same amount of money. However, because my mother didn't work when we were very small (although she was back at work full-time by the time the youngest was 3), she also got lumbered with a "second shift" of all the housework as well. My father helped, somewhat ineffectively, but she carried the most of the burden as well as the whole of what we would nowadays describe as the "mental load". On top of a full-time emotionally demanding job. She would not infrequently break down under the strain of being responsible for everything and then would then get blamed for making everyone else "miserable". "Silly mummy", we'd say, "Why's she nagging us and making such a fuss?" She was actually exhausted and at the end of her tether.

Having children now and balancing work and childcare has given me much more perspective on this and I've had several frank conversations with my DM about this. She's said to me on several occasions that she's pleased my DH earns a very good salary (although we're very far from being millionaires or anything like that) because it means that we can get help in like childcare or cleaners to support us and I'm not left doing absolutely everything. Of course, in an ideal world men would share the load 50/50 but there are still too many who talk the talk but don't walk the walk. At that point, having the funds to outsource is very useful in maintaining one's sanity.

Personally, I would head down to the retirement homes in your area. Maybe you could get a job there until you meet your soul mate and convince him to change his will for you. All you have to do is lay back and think of England until he dies.

I'd rather be poor, tbh.
But I really don't like more money than I need.
Marry for love, friendship, and the same philosophy in life.

*Please don’t assume what most women want. I do not want a wealthy man because I don’t want the only thing between me and poverty to be some bloke. I want me own life, my own money, my own choices.

It is possible to do both, you know. To have financial independence and your own life AND be married to somebody wealthy*

I am uninterested in being married to someone wealthy. I have a good lifestyle all by myself and won't benefit from having a slightly fancier holiday or accessories or anything really. I love the fact that I'm responsible for my own money, I am working to secure my old age financially.

I have also been around rich people (proper rich) and wealthy professional types (which I know a lot of) and I don't think they are happier than me. In fact, I don't want to have to keep up with a certain way of life or go fancier places really, I get to the stage I start to feel it's a waste of money to pay even more for dining out or for an expensive hotel. I can provide tastes of luxury for myself and that will do (and I don't mean just Lurpak butter!)

Marry for love, friendship, and the same philosophy in life It's very unlikely I would meet someone who earned very little though, because the type of people I'm interested in are similar to me. More money beyond my existing lifestyle wouldn't be of interest to me though, especially if that came with the penalty of my partner working longer hours or more intensely. I'd have a separate bank account anyway, I wouldn't want their income to improve my own.

Luckily I am not stampeded by very wealthy 50 plus men trying to secure my hand in marriage. Just as well, huh?

I married a wealthy man, he's no longer wealthy having been made redundant and his sector essentially becoming obsolete. We've been able to sustain our lifestyle (just about) through my own six figure salary. Never rely on a man is my life motto, it's served me well.

@Lammergeier

This thread is gross.

My husband is not wealthy and likely never will be. But he is kind, handsome, thoughtful, loyal, funny, hardworking, a good lover and a wonderful dad. He contributes half of the domestic labour and child rearing duties. He cares for me during periods when my depression makes me hard to live with and understand.

That’s worth a million millionaires to me.

Your post is just as insulting since you're clearly trying to be smug that your husband possesses all those wonderful qualities that shallow women who marry for money don't deserve. Newsflash: There are plenty of millionaires who are also great fathers, partners and care deeply about their family.

We know loads of couples who keep a very low profile (no social media, no showing off) but enjoy an extremely comfortable life. Choosing and decorating homes for several million, weekend trips to holiday homes, private schools for their children and close-knit circle of friends, all funded by exciting & lucrative but not back-breaking careers. I mentioned in a previous post that the majority of these work as doctors, surgeons, dentists, business consultants or lawyers, many with some family money as well. Clearly not every single man in those industries is "gross", as are the women who want to be with them.

This was the premise of the thread. OP mentioned a neighbourhood of normal but high-earning families and was asking about the types of dating dynamics that can lead to that. The most common answer is that most "normal" couples have been together before money was a factor.

There's a good saying that wealth doesn't change a person but only amplifies what was already there. Plenty of men are sleazebags, liars or cheaters with or without money. Just as many men are calm, kind and want a settled life with someone they love. Nobody knows what you're going to get when you start dating and that's the whole game of relationships.

@Paul72

My wife is much richer than I am. We are both retired, she got a lump sum and a really good pension. I've got a basic pension. Who cares? What matters to me is that she is the most beautiful woman in the whole world. She seems to think I'm nice too. Money does not matter, what matters is love

See? Money doesn’t matter! Beauty does. And that is true love 😍🥰

@bp300

I don't know any men that care how wealthy prospective partners are or what jobs they have.

They do care about looks though...

I know loads of wealthy men, more than a few in the private jet bracket. Few are assholes, and all work very hard.

The bulk of them met their spouses when they were not so wealthy at uni or at work. The wives are, in the vast majority, bright, very well educated and ambitious go-getting types and not the stereotypical trophies, but these wives are first wives and all of these men are under 60. These women, if they don’t actively work, did not set out to bag a wealthy man but we’re on the same trajectories as the men but took a step back when families came into play. After all, if one is being globally relocated, have careers which take up more than 80 hours a week and have extensive travel requirements, it is better to have one of the partnership focus more on the family and the other on the career. I also know couples where the woman has chosen the career path and the man the family roll.

Ime like marries like - dentists marry dentists lawyers marry lawyers etc. The film Pretty Woman trope of suave millionaire falling for a prostitute or shop worker are not realistic!

Ever listened to lying eyes by the eagles

Oooh I love The Eagles 🥰

Where's millionaire matchmaker when you need her

I used to love Millionaire Matchmaker. I don't think Patti's advice would match most of that on here, she used to have difficulty convincing 50 plus year olds to 'date age appropriate' and not have swimsuit mixers...The men were awful, often Botoxed and the women ridiculously gorgeous. That was in LA though!

MsTSwift I know several sex workers who went on to have relationships with their clients - one couple are now happily married with a couple of kids. They weren’t street walkers though, more professional party girls who often had very similar upbringings to their clients.

I once heard there is a particular bar in London where rich men go looking. I think it's the one at the top of the Oxo Tower.

there are likely many people hoping to marry well... but they'd never in a million years admit it... why would they lol

just look at the young women trying to get pregnant my very wealthy footballers... BOOM.. child support income for 18 years

I have ended up with a very wealthy man it turns out. I do pretty well but this is rather different level. It was through playing an iPad app game amusingly so of very little use as advice!

What I’ve found most interesting is that in a lot of ways I wouldn’t have a clue as on a day to day basis he just doesn’t do anything ‘money’ at all. But he also clearly doesn’t remotely worry about anything financial ever. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t nice to be with someone where money isn’t an issue (in either direction). It is definitely a stress removed

I met someone from a similar background fairly young, we built on what our parents gave us, and built a life together ourselves. I took a step back to raise the DC but he’s under no illusions who the CEO of this firm is .

I was brought up to be financially independent but within a fairly narrow social group so it was inevitable most of us would marry well.

The women I know who married serious money, far in excess of their own and their family’s, and usually with a title and an estate attached, were all extremely good looking and immaculately dressed as well as having important careers of their own (vet, barrister, accountant, financier).

My ex and I met through work. He was already worth a couple of millions. We got together and, while not loaded, I had a decent job. Which I left to start my own company (nothing to do with my ex - he didn't provide any input or money). Which did very well (and still is). So we always contributed fairly equally to the marriage coffers. I divorced him 16 years later and had to give him money because when you divorce the law tends to only consider the money that the parties made after they got together, believe it or not. And I had a fantastic lawyer. It could have cost me more. But still, I'd much rather have my own money than rely on someone else's.

I think if someone is earning 150k then yes they tend to be with someone they met at work, uni & tend to share similar backgrounds.

However my experiences of millionaires is that the long term first marriage inevitable breaks down once the money is rolling in & the men then often want someone younger & perceived as attractive.

Personally I don't think I could marry for money, although if someone is kind & generous then millions will make them more attractive. Likewise I wouldn't marry someone with little ambition.