To ask what your age gap is between children and pros and cons!

[Alicealicewhothe]

Just that really!
Wish you had them together closer/further apart?

Talk to me about sibling age gaps to help me decide on whether to TTC or not soon!

18 months. Very hard at the beginning but excellent now. They are so close in age - two school years though. But they play together wonderfully. And there isn't much in it size wise so they can both go on most rides and playground stuff together. Works well.

Exactly 2 and a half years. Quite hard in the beginning. Primary ages was good...close enough to do similar activities, soft play, park, days out. Feel a little like the gap has widened now my eldest is at secondary and getting a bit teenagerish and my youngest is still in primary and seems quite young in comparison.

A five year age gap is the absolute maximum you can have imo if you want them to have a typical siblings growing up together experience.

I actually think whilst small age gaps are hard work initially, it is easier in the long run and best for the kids.

I had 12 months between Dc1 and Dc2.

18 months between Dc2 & Dc3.
20 months between Dc3 & Dc4.

Very hard, the last six years have been tough and hard work but also a lot of fun. They mostly get on well, play together but when they squabble it’s quite full on.
However had I known there would of been a global pandemic involving homeschooling I may have chosen differently.[hmm[

I agree with formerbabe that a bigger gap is easier in the early days but smaller gap is easier later on.

3 year gap here. It was much easier when DC2 was born compared to my friends with a 2 year gap. They are now 2 and 5 and play quite well together and for now have similar enough interests.

I have over 6 years between my older 2. They have always been close, although did fight when they were younger. Now 16 and 23 and still get on great, it helps that they have interests in common.

I didn't plan such a big gap but am actually pleased with how it turned out.

Just under 3 years; perfect for us as my oldest was able to understand and was sleeping through the night, toilet trained, able to dress herself (if she wanted) and going to nursery

4 years! It works most of time, but they aren’t really into the same thing and just argue all the time. The plus side was that DS was off to school when Dd was tiny so I got a lot of 1:1 time with her.

I never had siblings close in age growing up. I’m not close to any of my siblings now. I like the idea of smaller age gaps (maybe 1-2 years) so they can grow up closer in age. I’ve never experienced a close sibling relationship.

There’s 16 years between myself and youngest sibling. 20 years between my partner and his sister. That isn’t ideal. Neither of us are close to our much younger siblings.

27 month gap. I thought it was perfect then and still do. They are now 23 and 21 and have always been very close.

I have three, I had a baby, a one year old and a two year old. They're the three consecutive school years, all secondary now.
I don't think it was hard, I didn't work so didn't have to be anywhere. Speaking to other people with three very close like this, we all agreed it was easier than a gap.

DD & DS1 - 4 years 11 months
Perfect age gap, loved it. DD had just started school so got the same 1-1 time with DS I had with DD. They absolutely adore one another and are the very best of friends.
DS1 & DS2. 19 months
Very protective of one another and very close. Will go and lay next to the other and snuggle up.
The 6 years between oldest and younger is also lovely as DD loved to play mother hen and baby the youngest. She’s the only one who can make him “belly laugh” and he adores her.

3 years and 3 days. I can't think of any cons. It was planned as free childcare comes at 3 years and we couldn't have afforded to have two children and paid for two lots of childcare. My eldest was old enough to understand about having a sibling and was reasonably independent. It also meant that whilst my oldest was at nursery I had some time with my youngest. They're nearly 5 and nearly 8 now and get on really well most of the time.

I have nearly 3 years between DC1 and 2. Jr was great. Big one loved little one but could do a few things solo and little one adored following big one around. Sadly our Dc2 died very suddenly. We decided to have dc3. Gap is 8.5 years to dc1. It's still wonderful. Dc1 is delighted and super helpful. Loves joining in playing and will hold baby / comfort if sad. I don't think there's a perfect gap. Just the best of whatever you get.

Also, I always thought it was really easy looking after kids. Maybe I just had really low standards

9 years!!! This wasn't planned at all but they have a brilliant relationship and get on so well. My older child is so helpful too and is great with the little one. It's lovely to enjoy it all again after having a gap!! I had wanted a gap of around 5 years but it didn't work out like that!

5 years.
Wasn't planned like this but had a tfmr when ds1 was 3.5.

It should be great but with a pandemic it's not so... I'd hoped for lots of one to one time with dd but nope, schools are closed.

@Kendodd

Also, I always thought it was really easy looking after kids. Maybe I just had really low standards

And easy kids. Some are harder work than others.

2 years and 9 months. I think it's perfect, mine are such good friends and always have been. They play nicely but the older one is old enough to understand the younger ones needs have to be met sooner.

Four years between DD11 and DS7. They get on reasonably well and she was much more independent when he was born. I was aiming for three years but my body didn't want to play ball!

My gaps are:

5.5 years
14 months
Nearly 2 years

All teenagers plus now. Favourite gap 14 months.

There's a 3.5 year gap between mine. It's still very early days (DC2 only 4 months old) but it's working out pretty well so far. The best thing is funded childcare for DC1 (starts term after 3rd birthday) which means we can comfortably afford to keep sending him to nursery during my maternity leave. Godsend. Other pros (compared to a smaller age gap) are that he's out of nappies and reasonably independent so can be left in another room for a bit while while I change the baby, for example. Cons: he's a threenager (lots of defiance and meltdowns about tiny things) and a whirlwind of energy, which is very hard to deal with in the sleep-deprived newborn stage.

And easy kids. Some are harder work than others.

Well mine all slept well (after about 4 months) I like to think it was down to my brilliant parenting but know that in fact this is pure luck. If you've slept well, you can face anything the next day.

We have four. 2.5 years ish between each.
The eldest and youngest have a lovely close bond.
Older two also great together.
Eldest and second youngest with the 5 year gap not so great.
So for us..the 7 year gap and the 2.5 year gap are best. 5 years seems to be a dodgy middle ground.

@Kendodd

And easy kids. Some are harder work than others.

Well mine all slept well (after about 4 months) I like to think it was down to my brilliant parenting but know that in fact this is pure luck. If you've slept well, you can face anything the next day.

Good god, absolutely. Trying hard not to self-combust with jealousy right now.

Two and half years between my now grown kids. Think it was about perfect gap. Older one was in a bed and toilet trained so only one in nappies. They played really well together. On holidays we didn't have to cater for a wide range of needs.
Now they grown they still close and probably speak to each other more than to me even though they live in different parts of country

Just over 5 years between DS and DD. I thought this would mean less fighting, less traditional sibling rivalry (me and my brother are 13 months apart and fought all the time - get on now!). I couldn’t have been more wrong. They play, they fight, my 8 yr old DD thinks she is a 13 year old boy. He treats her just like one of his friends. They are very close but argue and fight half the time and play well the other half.