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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to go back to the office

395 replies

tillytalks · 09/01/2021 10:46

I’m currently on mat leave and due back to work on the 15th March.

I work in an office with 12 other people.
At present everyone is in the office.

There is no reason why people can’t work from
home, and I’m pretty sure the reason is that management are the type that wouldn’t trust staff to work at home.
It’s a family run business and the owners are quite precious.

I’m really careful, I don’t mix, I follow the rules to the letter.

I’m 34, have mild asthma and I also have a high BMI (more than 30 but less than 40)
I’m working out and eating well so I’m hoping this will reduce.

Even still, I just don’t feel comfortable sitting in an office all day with 12 other people.
The office isn’t big. It’s a long room, and although we can distance, I feel like it would still be crowded.

I know that I wouldn’t be given any preferential treatment to work from home, but I haven’t asked so can’t be too sure.

I’ll be working 3 days per week and my son (who will be 13m) will be in a nursery.

I’m also aware that my son being in nursery puts me at risk which is something else I’ve been thinking over.

AIBU to not want to return?

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 09/01/2021 21:31

I think you may benefit from a chat with your GP about perceived risk versus actual risk. I am severely asthmatic, BMI 30, just awaiting chronic disease diagnosis but I am frontline NHS and working in Covid Safe environment - but it is not a competition on who feels more risk or not - speak to your GP. You are entitled to feel as you do.

If your baby cannot go to nursery (or you do not want them to), would you still be able to work from home - is this the employer's concern?

But, don't forget, March is 2 months away and a lot can change if you get help with your anxieties, now. Take care.

PaddingtonsSister · 09/01/2021 21:34

Business should not be allowed to do this Unless they can prove you need to be in the default position should be to work from home

Original poster
tillytalks · 09/01/2021 21:38

@Tistheseason17

I think you may benefit from a chat with your GP about perceived risk versus actual risk. I am severely asthmatic, BMI 30, just awaiting chronic disease diagnosis but I am frontline NHS and working in Covid Safe environment - but it is not a competition on who feels more risk or not - speak to your GP. You are entitled to feel as you do.

If your baby cannot go to nursery (or you do not want them to), would you still be able to work from home - is this the employer's concern?

But, don't forget, March is 2 months away and a lot can change if you get help with your anxieties, now. Take care.

@Tistheseason17

Yeah, perhaps I should.
I do feel like I’m at risk from Covid. Even sending my DS to nursery scares me.

The employer doesn’t have a concern about me personally working from home.
When I spoke to HR about my new hours she told me then that the office was still open and they are Covid secure and only a handful of people had worked from home.

OP posts:
Original poster
tillytalks · 09/01/2021 21:39

@PaddingtonsSister

Business should not be allowed to do this Unless they can prove you need to be in the default position should be to work from home
@PaddingtonsSister

I agree. If I absolutely HAD to go into the office then I’d accept this.
I guess I’d have to consider my options if this was the case.

But I know my job can be done from home, as can most of our jobs in my office.

OP posts:
newbie2021 · 09/01/2021 21:41

@MaskingForIt

You either need to go back to work or resign. Plenty of us have vulnerabilities and have worked throughout the last year.
That's not a valid argument at all
Tistheseason17 · 09/01/2021 21:42

If a handful of people are working from home, maybe you are worrying about nothing and they will support you if you ask formally. They must have a flexible work options process and must consider your request and respond within a reasonable period. They have already accepted your reduced hours so sounds like they may be supportive.

But I'd still talk to GP about your anxieties of the perceived risks to you x

newbie2021 · 09/01/2021 21:46

I know people who have been asked to go back to work but they didn't throughout last year, and I completely understand them and support them. If the job can be done from home it's beneficial to everyone, and makes us all closer to reducing Covid numbers

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 09/01/2021 21:47

@tillytalks you’re all over the shop. You are now saying I don’t want to go in at all but took issue with me saying the same thing at 16:33

You previously said This isn’t about not wanting to work, or only wanting to work from home.It’s about minimising my exposure and risk

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 21:47

But I know my job can be done from home, as can most of our jobs in my office.

None of the 12 in your office are doing it though? That doesn’t strike you as maybe hint?

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 21:49

@newbie2021

I know people who have been asked to go back to work but they didn't throughout last year, and I completely understand them and support them. If the job can be done from home it's beneficial to everyone, and makes us all closer to reducing Covid numbers
Not everyone benefits from working from home.
TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 21:50

How many of this team of 12 have had to isolate due to Covid symptoms, OP?

BBCONEANDTWO · 09/01/2021 21:50

Couldn't your employer get the staff to do 'shifts' one week 10 of you work from home end 10 in the office and the next week the other do. It would give you more room to SD.

Lottieis44 · 09/01/2021 21:54

It makes me angry so many people seem to be being pressured to go into work when they don't need to in this lockdown.

SnackSizeRaisin · 09/01/2021 21:59

You should be allowed to work from home if you are able to, regardless of any underlying health issues. As we keep being told, we are locking down to protect the NHS and the vulnerable, not just ourselves, so the argument that some people have to work out if the home means that you should too, is stupid. Each person who catches it increases the risk to others even if they are low risk themselves

SnackSizeRaisin · 09/01/2021 22:01

Not everyone benefits from working from home

Eh? So why are we being told to work from home unless unavoidable then?

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 09/01/2021 22:01

It’s dependent upon business needs snack,wfh if practicable to do so
It’s a mutual decision the op doesn’t simply demand it

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 22:04

@SnackSizeRaisin

Not everyone benefits from working from home

Eh? So why are we being told to work from home unless unavoidable then?

Lots of people aren’t safe at home. Lots of people don’t have suitable space to work and risk MSKs as a result. Lots of people struggle with the mental health aspects of remote working - isolation, lack of routine, having conversations with terminal cancer patients in the same place they eat dinner with their family. People trying to work and homeschool. We’re seeing lots of people burning out because they perceive WFH to require more effort, more hours, more online visibility.

But hey. I’ve only been directly supporting 2500 staff day in day out for 11 months. What do I know?

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 22:05

(Lots more examples in the thread, if you’d like to actually read it. Wink)

SnackSizeRaisin · 09/01/2021 22:07

I think you may benefit from a chat with your GP about perceived risk versus actual risk.

We are in lockdown. Everyone is supposed to stay home apart from if they have a reason to go out. Working in an office doing work that could be done from home is not a valid reason. The rules are quite clear - nowhere does it say that you should have a chat with your GP to determine your own personal risk level before deciding whether you personally should follow the rules.

Clearly people who are at low risk cannot just go round doing what they like . We have been told this repeatedly. I am really surprised you claim to work in the NHS. Most NHS staff seem to be begging people to stay home!

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 22:12

I think you’ve mixed some posters up there.

I didn’t advise the OP speak with their GP.

SnackSizeRaisin · 09/01/2021 22:14

Lots of people aren’t safe at home. Lots of people don’t have suitable space to work and risk MSKs as a result. Lots of people struggle with the mental health aspects of remote working - isolation, lack of routine, having conversations with terminal cancer patients in the same place they eat dinner with their family. People trying to work and homeschool. We’re seeing lots of people burning out because they perceive WFH to require more effort, more hours, more online visibility.

None of this is easy for anyone, but wfh is beneficial for us all in the sense that it reduces covid risk to society as a whole. Not just the person who is wfh. That is why there is one set of rules for everyone.

Elsielouise13 · 09/01/2021 22:16

[quote Pawpatrollers2021]@LilyE1234. No this is wrong there is a stay at home order in place. Employees need to prove the roles can’t be done from home.[/quote]
They don’t need to prove roles can’t be done at home. Employers can insist employees come to work if they feel the work cannot be done at home.

Employers can refuse to work if they don’t feel safe but they are not guaranteed to be paid.

SnackSizeRaisin · 09/01/2021 22:16

I think you’ve mixed some posters up there.

I didn’t advise the OP speak with their GP.

I didn't say you did - I quoted a post, didn't tag you in it. Think you are a bit confused yourself...

Original poster
tillytalks · 09/01/2021 22:21

[quote HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee]**@tillytalks* you’re all over the shop. You are now saying I don’t want to go in at all* but took issue with me saying the same thing at 16:33

You previously said This isn’t about not wanting to work, or only wanting to work from home.It’s about minimising my exposure and risk[/quote]
@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

You insinuated I didn’t want to work.

I haven’t said I didn’t want to work.

I’ve said I don’t want to go in (into the office)
Not that I don’t want to work.

OP posts:
HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 09/01/2021 22:23

Tilly you’ve contradicted yourself all thread