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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to go back to the office

395 replies

tillytalks · 09/01/2021 10:46

I’m currently on mat leave and due back to work on the 15th March.

I work in an office with 12 other people.
At present everyone is in the office.

There is no reason why people can’t work from
home, and I’m pretty sure the reason is that management are the type that wouldn’t trust staff to work at home.
It’s a family run business and the owners are quite precious.

I’m really careful, I don’t mix, I follow the rules to the letter.

I’m 34, have mild asthma and I also have a high BMI (more than 30 but less than 40)
I’m working out and eating well so I’m hoping this will reduce.

Even still, I just don’t feel comfortable sitting in an office all day with 12 other people.
The office isn’t big. It’s a long room, and although we can distance, I feel like it would still be crowded.

I know that I wouldn’t be given any preferential treatment to work from home, but I haven’t asked so can’t be too sure.

I’ll be working 3 days per week and my son (who will be 13m) will be in a nursery.

I’m also aware that my son being in nursery puts me at risk which is something else I’ve been thinking over.

AIBU to not want to return?

OP posts:
TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 16:04

Titsoot - great, that’s good news obviously. However I don’t see what that has to do with the OP having to work from an office when her work could be done at home

You’re only getting one side of the story. Wink

If the other 12 staff are going in, it implies the employer doesn’t agree that the work could be done from home.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 09/01/2021 16:07

Yup. Op has a strong preference to wfh,so of course she’ll say it’s appropriate
The employer will have an organisational reason and they’ll have had to write and assess the business continuity plan that recommended staff work in office

Original poster
tillytalks · 09/01/2021 16:31

@Aprilx

I am 50, overweight and mildly asthmatic, I would never go about calling myself “vulnerable” and demanding special treatment and my risk is higher than yours based on age.

I’m not demanding anything.

I haven’t made a single demand of my employer.

I also have inflammatory arthritis, and although I’m not on any medication, I wouldn’t fancy taking my chances with a virus that can cause additional inflammation.

OP posts:
Original poster
tillytalks · 09/01/2021 16:33

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Yup. Op has a strong preference to wfh,so of course she’ll say it’s appropriate The employer will have an organisational reason and they’ll have had to write and assess the business continuity plan that recommended staff work in office
@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

I don’t have a strong preference to WFH.

If say for instance they had a half of us in any any one time, I’d feel more comfortable.

So perhaps WFH one day a week and then go in two.
If we all did this on a rota we’d all be in the office less.

This isn’t about not wanting to work, or only wanting to work from home.
It’s about minimising my exposure and risk.

OP posts:
HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 09/01/2021 16:44

I apologise if I’ve misrepresented you @tillytalks
You need to undertake a discussion with employer, a back to work risk assessment and plan for your return
Of course you can request mixed mode wfh and office, they’re not compelled to grant it.

Original poster
tillytalks · 09/01/2021 16:54

@TitsOot4Xmas

Titsoot - great, that’s good news obviously. However I don’t see what that has to do with the OP having to work from an office when her work could be done at home

You’re only getting one side of the story. Wink

If the other 12 staff are going in, it implies the employer doesn’t agree that the work could be done from home.

@TitsOot4Xmas

My side is that all of my colleagues are in the office.
We’re being told to stay at home.
I don’t feel comfortable being in an office that’s at full capacity (which it will be when I go back)

I don’t know if any of them have asked to work from home, my guess is they haven’t.
It’s a family run business and the people I work with are all very much arse lickers (can’t think of a more polite way to put it)
If the boss wants them in, they wouldn’t challenge that regardless of what they think is right or wrong.

OP posts:
DayBath · 09/01/2021 16:56

@Lemmeout

Your preference is not the guiding principle.
You may want to read up on government guidance. You're clearly unaware there's a pandemic going on and the government have asked people to only go in to offices if they absolutely can't work from home. OP has stated very clearly that her job can be done from home.

Stop being a part of the problem. Presenteeism is making this damn thing last longer than it needs to.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/01/2021 17:02

If the boss wants them in, they wouldn’t challenge that regardless of what they think is right or wrong

You could be right - not being there I can't possibly know - but I'm not sure how calling them all "arse lickers" will help

Pretty revealing of your attitude to your fellow workers hough Sad

Viciouslybashed · 09/01/2021 17:17

I would challenge it personally. I would want to see a risk assessment etc. Don't think you are remotely unreasonable to want to work from home. Not sure why everyone here are such angry tossers about everything either.

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:19

OP has stated very clearly that her job can be done from home.

And if her employers disagree?

Viciouslybashed · 09/01/2021 17:21

@TitsOot4Xmas

OP has stated very clearly that her job can be done from home.

And if her employers disagree?

Surely she is allowed to question it and surely she is allowed to want to work from home. Lots of people are apparently.
TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:27

Wanting is fine. Asking is fine. But as demonstrated multiple times in this thread her employers do not have to agree.

Chipsandchesses · 09/01/2021 17:27

And if her employers disagree?

She’s in IT. As am I knew I could work from home as I need a laptop and a VPN only. As I mentioned before - my CEO was very reluctant to allow us to work from home as he had concerns about productivity but we could and he had to. I assume the OP knows if she can physically do her job from home or not. If she’s not being completely honest about that then it’s a different story

Are you assuming that all employers are behaving with the best interest of the nation at heart and not centring their own business? That seems quite naive. Based on the info that we have been given the OP can work from home. Do you approach all of the employees of your business with the same attitude? That they are lying?

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:33

My husband is in IT. Works for several very high profile multinationals. Involving several data centres. I’d say he has to go to one on average once a week to deal with an issue or replace kit. The data centre have staff who are on site.

Point being “in IT” means bugger all in terms of whether it can be done from home. Around 2/3rds of our NHS IT team have to be on site because their jobs relate to networking or other hands on IT issues.

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:35

@Chipsandchesses

And if her employers disagree?

She’s in IT. As am I knew I could work from home as I need a laptop and a VPN only. As I mentioned before - my CEO was very reluctant to allow us to work from home as he had concerns about productivity but we could and he had to. I assume the OP knows if she can physically do her job from home or not. If she’s not being completely honest about that then it’s a different story

Are you assuming that all employers are behaving with the best interest of the nation at heart and not centring their own business? That seems quite naive. Based on the info that we have been given the OP can work from home. Do you approach all of the employees of your business with the same attitude? That they are lying?

Again, as stated many times on this post, I work for the NHS. It’s a bit more complicated than you make it out to be. If everyone that in theory could work from home did, patients wouldn’t get treated.
Viciouslybashed · 09/01/2021 17:37

So what is the actual point of Boris saying to work from home then if bosses can just refuse for any reason. I will be honest I don't work in an office but I assumed that that was something that employers had to allow. This lockdown seems to be very on the lockdown lite side.

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:39

Well, firstly, Boris doesn’t speak for Wales.......

Viciouslybashed · 09/01/2021 17:41

@TitsOot4Xmas

Well, firstly, Boris doesn’t speak for Wales.......
Do you know I had assumed that the op was in England apologies if that was wrong. However that being said is there not a similar thing said there.
TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:42

Secondly, there isn’t really anyone to arbitrate it. So it comes down to what employees and employers agree between themselves. A lot have sent staff home and staff are struggling mentally, with MSKs and other issues from that. It’s really not as simple as “everyone home”.

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:42

Similar. But see above.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/01/2021 17:45

I assumed that that was something that employers had to allow

You're not alone, Viciouslybashed - many do, some because they genuinely didn't know and others because it's what they prefer to believe

Overall there's a reason why lawyers are heavily involved oin employment issues; they can be very complex and involve a lot more than just what employers or employees want

Chipsandchesses · 09/01/2021 17:49

I assume OP doesn’t work in a DC otherwise she might have mentioned that she needs to attend remote sites. She clearly stated she’s office based. Again. Why are you assuming the OP is lying? It’s weird.

While we are mentioning irrelevant facts - I work with the NHS. A lot. Especially during the pandemic.

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:53

Great.

I’m just saying that “I work in an office” is pretty meaningless. A bit like saying “I drive to work” doesn’t really tell you anything - how far, what sort of roads, whether there are other options etc.

Lots of people think they can work from home but this may not actually be the case. Maybe they can do 90% of their work from home, but that may not be okay by the employer. Maybe there are commercial reasons that VPNs aren’t allowed that mean work can’t be undertaken for certain clients.

There can be lots of valid reasons why someone who “works in IT in an office” can’t work from home.

TitsOot4Xmas · 09/01/2021 17:55

How do you open and deal with physical mail if nobody is there to do it?

Original poster
tillytalks · 09/01/2021 17:58

@Viciouslybashed

Do you know I had assumed that the op was in England apologies if that was wrong.

I am in England. Smile

OP posts: