Baby having to fast for 7 hours - IABU to be very angry?

[oblada]

I'm curious how others would have reacted.

Short story - my nearly 6 months old has complex needs. Feeding in particular has been a challenge and we're very grateful that she can now feed fully by mouth and that I am able to express for her. She has respiratory issues along with cranial issues, as part of a genetic condition.
Anyway she had to have an operation today at 12 at the specialist children's hospital. We're not newbie to that. She spent her first 11 weeks there and had a big op at 3 weeks old.

Due to operation schedule she had to fast for 3hours hence last feed at 9am. For various complex reasons she feeds mostly during the day (not at night much) and very frequently (not always comfortable with big quantities) so 3hours gap is pretty long to start with. I was quite happy with myself that I'd managed to get her to the hospital in a good mood at 12 o clock.

Upon arrival I was told that due to an earlier emergency there would be some delay. No problem but my first thoughts are for my daughter - can I feed her now and if need be wait longer / give me slot to someone and have the op (a relatively minor, 1hour long, op) later on? No I can't. Wait is 1 hour or so. Fine.

She starts screaming v quickly so I insist, explaining that due to her complex needs I am very uncomfortable leaving her starving (getting her to feed consistently, well, put on weight etc was a major challenge) and she has respiratory issues which could be made worse as well. Any option? Surgeon comes in to say no, won't be more than 2hours, cannot feed her.

Btw she cannot have water due to her issues (she cannot have very liquid liquids if that makes sense).

Anyway in the end the operation started 4 hours later. 4 hours of me trying to coax her to sleep, trying to comfort her etc. I also didn't eat or express but those are minor points.

I have to say that whilst I am grateful for her care overall I am aghast that this couldn't be handled better. Our op wasn't an emergency so could have been rescheduled if need be. We could have been told sooner and postponed the last feed time as they knew at least a few hours before I arrived that there would be a delay. I have no issue waiting around, done plenty of that in the early days in the hospital, but I felt it was very unfair on my daughter to be denied food and drink for 7hours in effect. And of course made this extremely stressful day for me (any op is very stressful when your baby is involved) pretty awful all round.

I may well be overreacting (holding a distressed baby for 4hours can definitely do that) so just curious what others would have thought? It won't stop me expressing my concerns very clearly to the hospital and the surgeons :)

@Aspiringmatriarch

Oh you poor thing, I remember how incredibly stressed I was when my DS went in for an operation, the slightest thing would have set me off. It must have been really distressing having to do nil by mouth for so long, emergencies can't be helped but it sounds like better communication and a bit more empathy on the part of hospital staff could have avoided some of that distress. Glad to hear the op went well in the end.

Thanks. Yes you pretty much nailed it.

Thanks to the posters were who could understand/relate. I understand others may think I have overreacted. Maybe. But as I said I don't think I would have been that angry if it had been any of my other children. So maybe that's what some posters struggle to relate to.
Anyway is done. I will still convey my feelings to the hospital but this doesn't mean I am not grateful for the overall care and for the skills of the surgeon.
She is doing fab and we're hoping to be home very soon.XXxX

I'm an ex-theatre nurse and they don't delay children's surgery for anything less than urgent emergencies. They younger the child the less likely they would be to delay and it would always be a hurry to get the child into theatre so they can get on with eating and drinking. It's inconvenient for adults to not eat and feel hungry/hangry but for children it's worse, and for babies it feels unreasonable because you can't even explain to them what's happening. The staff in theatre are very aware of this when choices are made. It wasn't uncommon to have conversations about the priority of getting a starved child/baby do theatre ASAP when weighing up the order of what must be done next.

So it is unreasonable to leave a tiny child starving any longer than necessary, but needs must at times. It's also of paramount importance that people have the emptiest stomachs possible before surgery. I've seen first hand what can happen if not and you do not want to go there. So you couldn't give a tiny top-up while you waited.

As a parent YANBU to have found the whole thing distressing and to have put that part of your child's needs first. The hospital is also NBU to have made the wait longer for an emergency and to extend the Nil By Mouth period. The staff will have understood your frustration with the system and that you were only thinking of your child, but they can literally only deal with the next ONE thing in front of them and have no control over what medical stuff patients are going to throw at them.

SO you are both BU and NBU. Schrodinger's parent.