Baby having to fast for 7 hours - IABU to be very angry?

[oblada]

I'm curious how others would have reacted.

Short story - my nearly 6 months old has complex needs. Feeding in particular has been a challenge and we're very grateful that she can now feed fully by mouth and that I am able to express for her. She has respiratory issues along with cranial issues, as part of a genetic condition.
Anyway she had to have an operation today at 12 at the specialist children's hospital. We're not newbie to that. She spent her first 11 weeks there and had a big op at 3 weeks old.

Due to operation schedule she had to fast for 3hours hence last feed at 9am. For various complex reasons she feeds mostly during the day (not at night much) and very frequently (not always comfortable with big quantities) so 3hours gap is pretty long to start with. I was quite happy with myself that I'd managed to get her to the hospital in a good mood at 12 o clock.

Upon arrival I was told that due to an earlier emergency there would be some delay. No problem but my first thoughts are for my daughter - can I feed her now and if need be wait longer / give me slot to someone and have the op (a relatively minor, 1hour long, op) later on? No I can't. Wait is 1 hour or so. Fine.

She starts screaming v quickly so I insist, explaining that due to her complex needs I am very uncomfortable leaving her starving (getting her to feed consistently, well, put on weight etc was a major challenge) and she has respiratory issues which could be made worse as well. Any option? Surgeon comes in to say no, won't be more than 2hours, cannot feed her.

Btw she cannot have water due to her issues (she cannot have very liquid liquids if that makes sense).

Anyway in the end the operation started 4 hours later. 4 hours of me trying to coax her to sleep, trying to comfort her etc. I also didn't eat or express but those are minor points.

I have to say that whilst I am grateful for her care overall I am aghast that this couldn't be handled better. Our op wasn't an emergency so could have been rescheduled if need be. We could have been told sooner and postponed the last feed time as they knew at least a few hours before I arrived that there would be a delay. I have no issue waiting around, done plenty of that in the early days in the hospital, but I felt it was very unfair on my daughter to be denied food and drink for 7hours in effect. And of course made this extremely stressful day for me (any op is very stressful when your baby is involved) pretty awful all round.

I may well be overreacting (holding a distressed baby for 4hours can definitely do that) so just curious what others would have thought? It won't stop me expressing my concerns very clearly to the hospital and the surgeons :)

It must have been a dreadful experience for you. You may have overreacted but that’s understandable in the circumstances, I have been an emergency and will always be so grateful that I was treated quickly enough. I owe my life to an eagle eyed A&E doctor, I hope your little one is recovering now

Still waiting... going slowly stir crazy...

I know there are bigger issues but feeding is definitely a very emotive issue for us. I'm doing baby signing with her as she may have speech delays or hearing issues in the future (though she may not but best be prepared) and that's the one sign she has definitely cottoned on very well too and I'm so bloody glad so having to deny her was horrendous.
But yes I know deep down there are bigger issues. I wish the staff had been a bit more empathetic though. Nobody seemed to care much... ha well!

I would have felt exactly the same as you OP.

Oh man I totally feel you - I would've been at my wit's end in this situation! Thankfully it's over and whilst I don't think you are being unreasonable to be annoyed, unfortunately healthcare providers aren't super heros and it's not always going to go perfectly. It does sound like a terribly long time though given your specific circumstances :'(

Oh bless her. Did they put your dd on a drip? Idk if they can do this. But I would think it would help.

I think with any schedule like that you do know that things can be shifted.

Ds had his appendix out last summer. I was told about an hour. I was getting a little worried when I hadn't heard anything after 4.5 hours.
It was just that it was more complicated due to positioning than they expected.

Although I will note that he was also about 11 hours late in-we were told he would be first thing at the morning, 8am, first on the schedule, one emergency after another followed and we ended up first on the next surgeon's schedule. I was glad about that though in the end as if he'd been last in then the surgeon could have been tired when he began and really too far gone by then end, not expecting it to last that long.

A friend I had, went for an emergency operation in the summer. One that he was told that had only a short window for successful outcomes, and he was already at the back end of it. Unsuccessful outcome was lifechanging.
Travelled in for 7am. At 10am they were told the first patient on the list had tested positive for covid, and so the surgical team couldn't do any more that day while cleaning and testing took place. That was also Friday and they weren't working weekends.
(He was in first thing on Monday and it was successful btw).

So things can always be changed, and especially at the moment. I'm glad you got yours done though.

Thanks ppl.
Still no news.
No she wasn't on a drip. Because she has breastmilk the fast only needed to be 3hours (4hours for formula) but of course I didn't expect it to become 7hours.... Ha well I don't know now, I just want it over.

That's awful OP. I would have been angry and upset, you aren't being unreasonable of course xx

I have so much sympathy for you OP. My three year old has had seven operations and sometimes we are lucky and sometimes it turns out like this. No matter how much we understand why this happens it is really tough as a parent to go through.

I also understand about feeding being emotive. My son is TOF/OA and that comes with massive issues around feeding. It’s hard as feeding happens to many times every day!

Being very angry is a bit extreme. Although l appreciate you were very worried. Getting healthcare during the pandemic is challenging. There was an emergency and it’s just one of those things.

We had to do this to my dc for days not hours pre op, due to developing pancreatitis. That was worst memory ever. Good thing is, he doesn't remember at all.

@Sirzy

At least it’s done.

I get how horrible the nil by mouth side of things can be and how stressful but if they can be sure how long the delay will be they can’t risk letting her eat sadly.

I don’t think OP’s suggesting her baby should feed close to the operation time — obviously that is not safe. But since the operation was so late they could have let her feed and then made sure to not do the operation until enough time had passed. A tiny baby with complex needs should NOT be made to wait around that way. It’s barbaric.

@Xerochrysum

We had to do this to my dc for days not hours pre op, due to developing pancreatitis. That was worst memory ever. Good thing is, he doesn't remember at all.

That sounds pretty shit indeed.

The not remembering doesn't comfort me that much - my 3yrs old doesn't remember his hospital stay when he was 9months, including his lumbar puncture etc but he is in tears whenever he steps into a consulting room at the GP. So he must remember something, not consciously though.
But yes I appreciate in the long term it's a minor thing and she will probably have to go through worse so it will definitely not matter eventually...

God that sounds horrendously stressful! Sending hugs.

You probably did overreact but I imagine I would have been much much worse!

Situations like this are very stressful, but sounds like have been amazing today. Unfortunately emergencies do come in, they are unpredictable, and there is more to do it then that's finish let's dive straight into everything else. The trouble is that if they had said yes, give her some milk, the theatre could have been ready sooner, and they would then be waiting around which isn't possible with the schedules that they have. Even if it was rescheduled, an emergency could still come in beforehand. Thankfully children's hospitals haven't been widely affected by children with Covid, but some staff have been redeployed to adult wards, some wards even repurposed, and all of the extra measures and PPE etc still means that things take longer- so they are affected still.

Sounds like you have been amazing that should say.

Thanks CokeAndPepsi.
I know the staff probably did what they thought was best but really it didn't seem like anyone thought it was a problem to leave her like this for so long. I just think it could have been handled a bit better. But I appreciate nobody is perfect and it is what it is.

My dd had to fast when she was 6 weeks...due to surgery being postponed and timing of original surgery to the the actual surgery taking place it meant she had fasted for over 20hours! I remember feeling like the worst mother! I dont know if it was me or dd nurses took pity on and i was allowed to give her a tiny sip of water..really awful situation to be in

Op has gone well... at least that's a relief

Your poor daughter! I don't think you're overreacting and I don't think it's acceptable. I love having an NHS but I think this attitude of not being able to complain about its shortcomings is wrong. So shit for your little one and just because it happens often doesn't make it okay, regardless of how much admiration we have for hardworking hospital staff.

I hope things go well for her. I have a 6 month old and your situation sounds very stressful

Hey OP. I hope you are feeling better. Totaly get you. I would make a complaint

Glad the operation has gone well.

On the concern about her remembering things as she grows older for anyone with children with long term conditions meaning a lot of hospital trips I can’t recommend the play specialists enough. They can help with so many things and have also been known to look after me while Ds I in surgery!

Been there done that multiple times.

It’s a raging pile of shit but unfortunately these things happen.

My daughter was around 3 and was meant to be first on the list at 9am. So would have been in preop at around 8.30am. Fasted from midnight. We were eventually taken at 4pm. She was allowed clear fluids but that was all. Awful.

Sorry to hear you're distressed. I'm married to a surgeon and with anything practical, cases can be quicker or slower than you expect. If the surgeon is speaking to you they're not operating! He's spent many a day/evening waiting to get into emergency theatre to operate on someone, as long as 7 hours, sat doing nothing. Hope you get sorted soon.

What did you want them to do? Let you feee your baby and then complain you didn't get the operation today?

It's baffling, the lack of insight you seem to have. There was probably an emergency during a previous surgery that's why your baby was made to wait. It was only 7 hours, not 7 days