To think its almost a right of passage

[AriesTheRam]

To have your arse handed to you on thread you've started.

Been a member for years but I remember my first post not going down too well
I name changed and licked my wounds and ive learnt what goes down like a lead balloon and what doesn't.
Have you ever had a bashing on a thread and was it a surprise at the time?

Yes plenty...some people just don't like it if you tell the truth and want to berate you for it.

It is part of a modern society whereby politicians for example praise everything as it is not allowed to be critical...for example our NHS due to Covid is now seen as thou shall never be criticised. Whilst the staff are currently having a terrible time it doesn't change that the health model in this country is terribly flawed and it is a monolith.....but it's almost like it cannot ever be said within someone taking offence

Some people also come on here especially to bash others. You could basically pick any thread and just start attacking. I think that's what a lot of people do.

I started an AIBU about (jokingly) asking the local farmer to not muck spread as it made my washing on the line smell. You can imagine the replies.

Post in AIBU and you have to not care what replies you get. But it's all about 'the traffic' so everything just gets posted here.

I think there are threads that you just know will incite the rage & the OP will need to run & hide. However there are some inconsistencies about MNs I don't get
e.g knocking on someone's door without a warning is unacceptable (never met anyone who thinks this) so is accidentally forgetting to pay for a chocolate bar. However reporting someone for benefit cheating is a sin & putting an offer 10% under the asking is akin to eating babies (who doesn't do this?!!).
Vanity & bragging is bad unless it's on SM in which case mind your own business. AIBU wouldn't exist if people minded their own business. 😆

As a newbie I think ideally you have to get a measure of the place before doing your first AIBU, get to know which topics press people's buttons etc. But nobody's got time for that when they have a BURNING issue that only MN AIBU can solve.

On other threads in other forums I have had a right bashing. Someone will de-contextualise a word or phrase from a posting., twist and manipulate it to suit their malicious ends, and then use it to launch a personal attack. Then their little claque of deadbeat friends will all follow on like sheep supporting him/her.

For example:

Someone posted his techniques for getting rid of unwanted cold sales callers by being rude or slamming down the phone. I said that I often pretended to be "the cleaner" because cleaners are not authorised to purchase things or make similar decisions so there is really no point in continuing the conversation. It saves being rude to the caller who is just doing a job.

Someone used this to infer that by posing as a cleaner I was putting down cleaners and suggesting they were lower on the social scale. Then their noisy little clique all piled in with stories about how their great aunt fanny had been a cleaner etc.

When I picked them up for their "witch hunting" tactics the excuse was that on previous threads I had expressed views they had disagreed with or which had upset them and so their behaviour was justified.

IMO there are just the tactics of people who do not have the intelligence to conduct a debate.

@sneakysnoopysniper that's a really good example and that kind of thing happens a lot. It's just people out for a fight in my opinion. They will scrutinise everything and twist it just to make you look bad and to put you down.

Yes, one of my first threads, something about my SEN child being treated unfairly at school. Some people really went overboard, decided he was probably a violent, aggressive thug who was a danger to his classmates and teachers. 🙄

I once posted about my dc and struggling to maintain a relationship after I moved 30 miles away... Kept off mn for a good year. Feeling smug as dc moved to me ft i came back with a middle finger up!!

It's definitely a rite of passage on AIBU! There's a lot of trolling, pettiness and outright bitchery though. Got to expect it. I once got shredded on S&B for daring to start my own thread about a particular thing; apparently that sort of thing already existed and how dare I?! The outrage was hilarious.

I’ve been ripped into a couple of times and been left scratching my head.

Once because I left my sister’s house early while visiting because she went absolutely mental tantruming at me because I’d objected to her allowing her able bodied NT son come in the womens toilets.

The other was recently when I asked if it would be BU to complain to a teacher because she’d seated my quiet nervous DS next to a child with challenging behaviour, then when DS plucked up the courage to tell the teacher the boy was disturbing him and he was struggling to cope she refused to move him as she’d purposely seated him near this child to be a good example. That thread went mental. Responses ranged from me being advised to engage a solicitor, to being called disablist, even though I’d not mentioned SEND at all and have no idea whether this child has additional needs or not.

MN can be utterly bonkers. Anybody who posts in AIBU needs a thick skin and the ability to ignore some of the more batshit advice, that’s for sure.

I once got the well tried and tested "you sound horrible OP".

I've never started a controversial thread in my life.

Yes, one of my first threads, something about my SEN child being treated unfairly at school.

SEN kids seem to be targets unfortunately.

I try & take it all with a pinch of salt & some of it can be quite funny. There are just some sad sacks who want to kick the boot in, & many are bored.

YABVU

@AriesTheRam

To have your arse handed to you on thread you've started.

Been a member for years but I remember my first post not going down too well
I name changed and licked my wounds and ive learnt what goes down like a lead balloon and what doesn't.
Have you ever had a bashing on a thread and was it a surprise at the time?

A bashing for not knowing it's a rite of passage and not a right of passage?

Sorry OP, couldn't resist.

Ah yes, the official AIBU Trial by Fire. Had it myself, neighbour had been passive aggressive for a while, posted about one incident and was basically told I was the nutter. Turns out I was right, as said neighbour has since ramped it up to Crazy Town. Wouldn't post about it here again though.

Someone will de-contextualise a word or phrase from a posting., twist and manipulate it to suit their malicious ends, and then use it to launch a personal attack.

Yes this does annoy me or when you dispute something & they call you a name (because their point is 💩) & then you retaliate & they tell you to be kind. Fecking idiots.

Oh and yes it very much is.

I started a thread a few years ago after an experience at a craft competition where parents were letting their grubby offspring handle the exhibits/entries, with no concern about whether these things got dirty or broken.

I was told that I was being precious, that of course children are going to want to touch and it was unreasonable to expect them not to, that posters pitied my own children, that craft shows are a middle class waste of time anyway, that the children all probably had special needs and I shoudln't judge... it went on and on.

You can state that the sky is blue on AIBU and some twat will insist you are wrong for the sheer fuckery of it. There are some pretty contemptuous posters on MN who clearly get some kind of bizarre kick out of upsetting strangers there is one fairly prevalent poster who always gets involved in anything concerning class and taste, she is so derisive to pretty much everyone that it's become quite funny. Someone said that she (could be a he of course) is like a pantomime baddy, hit the nail on the head

A bashing for not knowing it's a rite of passage and not a right of passage?

I missed that 😁

she is so derisive to pretty much everyone that it's become quite funny.

There are some infamous ones

It's not always the topics you expect either. It can be something non-goady and even dull and you get the first few posters looking for a fight and then everyone piles on.

You just have to change your mindset. If I really cared what faceless people on the internet thought of what I posted I'd never post a thing.

I don't like it when people have a go or get very personal and at times you have to defend myself or ask questions, but on the whole it's best not taken seriously. And take what others post with a huge pinch of salt-they could be anybody saying anything.

You know those threads that are ridiculously stupid questions, even when they can be sensitive somethings? Then lots of posters say ‘why do you need to ask? Obviously you do X Y or Z’

I replied to one very similar and In my opinion kinder than previous posters and I got picked out of the crowd and absolutely destroyed.
I crawled back in my hole after a few rude responses and changed my username!