To think its almost a right of passage

[AriesTheRam]

To have your arse handed to you on thread you've started.

Been a member for years but I remember my first post not going down too well
I name changed and licked my wounds and ive learnt what goes down like a lead balloon and what doesn't.
Have you ever had a bashing on a thread and was it a surprise at the time?

I once posted about an incident that happened in a local public space where I had made a complaint. I was told people felt sorry for my kids (when it was not child related) I was an awful person, too thick to see what was going on and all sorts of abuse. I deregistered after that and I don’t think I’ve started a thread since.

I wonder if people really think the nasty criticisms they post sometimes. Any excuse for a pile on with some people.

@Raspberry yes! I knew as soon as I read it back after posting

Long ago, anyone interested in handing round slices of my online arse, discovered they'd need a forklift truck. Those who came unarmed are probably still creeping about on their prosthetic stumps.

Yes a long time and many name changes ago I was told that I was massively unreasonable. However, in recent times I've seen similar threads where the op gets a lot of support. Times change. It still stings

Yep. Once asked about some Christmas arrangements where I feel very pushed out. (a few years ago) I was told I was jealous, being a a martyr, selfish and passive aggressive.

I'd said I was a bit upset as my sister had in laws visiting from abroad who don't celebrate Christmas and I meant we couldn't really visit on Christmas day. It wasn't even that big a deal I just wanted some input in my view.

What I learned from this was mumsnet thinks the worst of people. So will throw the classic insult if being a martyr when I'd see it (in others actions) as trying to be considerate and put others first.

To be honest it really upset me and I would never ask about anything serious or I was actually hurt about. Lesson truly learned. It wasn't that I want prepared for feedback that was not my point of view, it was the way it was delivered. Just really awful.

Yup. Explained that I’d been photographing some suspected criminal activity in my block of flats (and I was right, it turned out, and the photos I was taking were relevant to the police investigation that followed). A parent of a child who was playing nearby saw me with my phone out and ended up egging my door and car because she thought I’d been taking pics of her kids. Posted on AIBU for advice. Ass handed to me.

More recently the whole of MN decided that I wanted to shag my friend’s DH after I agreed to a few drinks in the pub (pre-Covid). That was a brilliant few hours. I still can’t look at him without internally shouting “I’m not being unreasonable!”

Yes it's a thing.
There are some people who's main pastime is joining threads and causing maximum upset.
There is one name that crips up whenever there's trouble.

Crops up

I found out that I’m not allowed to be a feminist as I took my husband’s name (albeit aeons ago when that was the only done thing). May as well not bother having opinions when you’ve committed that particular crime.

@EssentialHummous

I started a thread about not liking zoflora

I once posted because I was concerned about my 8 year old daughter going for a sleepover at another girls house who I didn't know. Never met her parents, didn't know where they lived etc. I was repeatedly told that my daughter would end up with no friends, would never get invited anywhere again, would be the odd one out etc etc. I was flamed, not one person backed me up. Turned out there was a fair amount of domestic violence going on in the house, so I then posted that I was glad I didn't let her go....and got called a smug git for being right!

YANBU. I had my dragging across the coals almost ten years ago, not long after I joined MN. Two posters in particular were awful and really laid into me, I stoked the flames by retaliating and then flounced in a most dramatic fashion . I took some time away, then reregistered and resolved not to let the opinions of online strangers get to me in future, just words on a screen, innit.

I notice that very often the first response to a post is horribly, provocatively negative. I reckon there are posters who look on the unanswered threads section and swoop in with something nasty to set the tone.

People love nothing better than twisting the knife and sharing there superior views .
A poster asked a question today got a few replies came back on held there hands up and saw the other point of view and that she was being unreasonable . dozens of people still slating her even ofter she'd taken advice on board .

I was once told I shouldn’t have been allowed to have children and I abused them.

My (baby) dd was in hospital overnight, me with her. She was awaiting medication to be administered. Hours passed, I asked the nurses a couple of times about the medication and was told it would have happen soon. I started to get a bit irritated that my pfb wasn’t being seen too. Posted about it and by god, the folk of Aibu went to town on me. Saying I was abusing my child, I was an awful mother, person. Honestly. It riled me up so much I left mn. Only came back a while back as was bored and now have a backbone. But bloody hell

I agree with the PP above that the first response often sets the tone. Often it's quite unnecessarily nasty.

I've had some nasty responses when replying to threads on feminism. Usually when I was making what I thought was an interesting point for thought and discussion, not a strident opinion. I've been effectively told I'm doing feminism wrong and talking rubbish. "Good luck with the cause sisters, I think they are going to need it with such unwelcoming attitudes" is what I silently thought. I've not dared venture near a feminism thread again although I still consider myself one.

I've also had some stinging comments if I've mentioned having a decent income or original job (when relevant to the post). Along the lines of "oh you think you're so important don't you? " I don't actually. Imposter syndrome is real and i live it every day!

You have to have the correct opinions on things or you will be laid into.

Most of these people who troll are keyboard warriors and would not have the courage to face you out in person so you can discount their opinions.

I remember mine.

I said that I thought people in M&S should buy their food and clothing at separate tills, rather than putting a sack of earth-covered potatoes through at the tills in the lingerie section, where the woman didn't have anything to wipe the counter down with.

(I still think I'm right!)

For sure. I got a ‘you sound angry’ on a post where I was talking about being accidentally delivered a pair of children’s leggings sized aged 4. I described them as tat and said I didn’t want them. I’m a childfree adult living in a tiny flat in zone 2 - of course I didn’t want them! What else would I describe them as?!

@AriesTheRam

To have your arse handed to you on thread you've started.

Been a member for years but I remember my first post not going down too well
I name changed and licked my wounds and ive learnt what goes down like a lead balloon and what doesn't.
Have you ever had a bashing on a thread and was it a surprise at the time?

I’m not sure you understand what a rite of passage is, OP.

@Janegrey333

I’m not sure you understand what a rite of passage is, OP

And yet somehow every poster has grasped what the OP was trying to convey so you can wind your neck back in 🙄