To think its almost a right of passage

[AriesTheRam]

To have your arse handed to you on thread you've started.

Been a member for years but I remember my first post not going down too well
I name changed and licked my wounds and ive learnt what goes down like a lead balloon and what doesn't.
Have you ever had a bashing on a thread and was it a surprise at the time?

Yes, first thread on here about 8 years ago. I absolutely got my arse handed to me. I wasn't mentally well at the time, I name changed when I was a bit better and haven't had any problems since, to be fair, I did seem entirely unreasonable!

@Sparklingbrook oh well live and learn.

Loads. I don't really mind though. If it starts getting too much. I hide the thread and then can forget about it immediately. It's best not to let it too far into your headspace. I see posters coming back to answer every point and defend themselves against every accusation and admire them but I never would, if it starts going badly I'm out

[quote HOkieCOkie]@Sparklingbrook oh well live and learn.[/quote]
Definitely. When I joined about 9 years ago I had no idea there would be trolls. When the most amazing thread ever suddenly disappeared i was all 'WTF I was enjoying that?' but if it was posted now I could tell a mile off it was all made up.

@HmmSureJan

Loads. I don't really mind though. If it starts getting too much. I hide the thread and then can forget about it immediately. It's best not to let it too far into your headspace. I see posters coming back to answer every point and defend themselves against every accusation and admire them but I never would, if it starts going badly I'm out

I have been known to ask a question on a thread, then think 'you know what I don't actually care' then hide the thread. I have the @ thing turned off so I never give it another thought after. Never unhidden a thread.

I have been known to ask a question on a thread, then think 'you know what I don't actually care' then hide the thread. I have the @ thing turned off so I never give it another thought after. Never unhidden a thread.

exactly the same. MN and SM is supposed to add to my life not add to my stresses and bring me down. What's the point otherwise?

I actually quite admire OPs that come back and kick off sometimes. There is this feeling that it's OK to pile on the OP but it's outrageous for the OP to give as good as they get. You do get the same thing in real life in that it's often the shittiest people who expect the best treatment.

@SnuggyBuggy

I actually quite admire OPs that come back and kick off sometimes. There is this feeling that it's OK to pile on the OP but it's outrageous for the OP to give as good as they get. You do get the same thing in real life in that it's often the shittiest people who expect the best treatment.

I do too. The ones that just won't bow to it. Love them

I once posted in what I thought was a light hearted way, about the relief of getting home from work and taking off my Spanx. Within three posts I'd had my arse handed to me for letting down the sisterhood by willing participating in the sexist social construct that was shapewear.

I mean, I did/do get it but... I just wasn't keen on the rolls of back fat with that dress

@lightlypoached

Oh yes. An innocuous lighthearted one about my beanpole teenaged boy eating giant bowl of pasta, not half an hour after a huge roast dinner. I was sexist, causing eating disorders, abusing my children, setting them up for malnourishment..... so bad was the piling on that MN had to intervene on the thread

Still don't quite understand what was in the air that night!

Any thread where someone mentions food in any context is catnipfor a pile on. I never fail to be entertained by how much righteous anger one person can have over what another person eats. All MN food related threads are utterly bonkers 😂

My personal favourites are the step parent bashing ones!
I got a roasting on here about a step parent issue - was meant to be lighthearted but everyone assumed l was talking about a little child even though l was talking about a fully grown adult (l never said l was talking about either in fairness) Got told all l care about is my child and l am basically evil and not a very good wife!!

You certainly have to have a thick skin that's for sure!

AIBU has evolved. Back when it was all fields way before Sparklingbrook was here I remember it being the place for a very dry sense of humour.

Think Caitlin Moran, Grace Dent so the problem was not posters being vicious, it was not being funny enough to keep up. (The grammar police were also ever present).

I genuinely used to laugh out loud at AIBU, sat with my miserable non-sleeping child, on dial up, reading the warm, dryly funny, responses. The non-standard solutions, the irreverent take on the standard view of mother's at the time. The opportunity to have a good online swear and then go back to chasing snot round a toddlers face, which you never see tackled in the media by the great mothers of history.

The clue to the roots is the name 'Am I Being Unreasonable' the problem should be Trivial, the short answer 'yes' followed by outrageous suggestions generally referencing imaginary mitagating circumstances.

To be honest I'm amazed someone hasn't corrected your spelling .. 🤣..

Yep. Berated on my first thread for being upset about something a (dying) relative said. Got pounced on - 'It's not all about you' - and told when you are dying you are allowed to say and do whatever you want. I find it laughable that so many held/hold that view.

The ones driving me mad lately is when an OP is upset about something that happened at school/in a shop/in a garden centre

WHY ARE YOU DOING X DONT YOU KNOW THERES A PANDEMIC

OP might not be in the UK or it might have been something that happened pre pandemic (less likely now), but around April it was rife.

Also the ones that pick one word or turn of phrase and they decide it makes their skin crawl/teeth itch/or use sick emojis and don't even answer the question. There was one last night, but the OP gave as good as she got, think she really lost her temper by the end.

Not a bashing as such, and I've only started about 2 or 3 threads, but one of them was something I'd been mulling over.
Whatever I did was minorly unfair on one child, in about equal quantity, and I wasn't really too worried which way I went, but knew I had to make a decision and stick with it, and the dc it was minorly unfair on would probably say once "that's not fair" and that would be the end of it.

So not a major issue.

I wondered what others would think and just in case I was missing something, so asked in chat, putting roughly what I put above, but with the details.

Got about half a dozen replies, mostly saying something along the lines of "why are you bothering asking?" varying from that through to someone who said if I couldn't make that sort of decision then I wasn't fit to parent.
I thought it probably said more about them than me though.

I don't care what people say to me on here. It's all just words on a screen. However I did post about a sexist salesman at a farming event once. I was looking at quad bikes and he assumed I wanted one for a 'toy' not farming. People piled in and said I was imagining it. Very funny.
Humour is the best way to deal with nonsense I find.

I wish there was a way of (privately, although if it was public the resultant bunfight would be awesome) making a mark against someone's username that would show up in subsequent posts, so that once I've seen someone say something outrageous I could put them on my own personal shitlist and remember to take their comments with a pinch of salt. There are one or two posters that have talked so much utter petty minded evil nonsense that they stick in my mind but generally my memory isn't good enough to allow me to hold all the grudges that I'd like to

I've been on here 10 years and I've seen some stuff but the one I always remember for it's sheer pretty wrongheaded nastiness was when someone (in chat!) was asking about whether the free NHS prescription generic Calpol came with an enteral syringe or a spoon and these two posters were like "why do these overentitled mums even need a syringe anyway" and another was like "I think they like using the syringe because it makes them feel important" - oh yeah it must be that, when I'm trying to get a correct dose of calpol down a 5 month old at 3 am on the bedroom carpet my main concern is absolutely how important I get to feel

@Anycrispsleft

I wish there was a way of (privately, although if it was public the resultant bunfight would be awesome) making a mark against someone's username that would show up in subsequent posts, so that once I've seen someone say something outrageous I could put them on my own personal shitlist and remember to take their comments with a pinch of salt. There are one or two posters that have talked so much utter petty minded evil nonsense that they stick in my mind but generally my memory isn't good enough to allow me to hold all the grudges that I'd like to

I've been on here 10 years and I've seen some stuff but the one I always remember for it's sheer pretty wrongheaded nastiness was when someone (in chat!) was asking about whether the free NHS prescription generic Calpol came with an enteral syringe or a spoon and these two posters were like "why do these overentitled mums even need a syringe anyway" and another was like "I think they like using the syringe because it makes them feel important" - oh yeah it must be that, when I'm trying to get a correct dose of calpol down a 5 month old at 3 am on the bedroom carpet my main concern is absolutely how important I get to feel

I wish there was a way of (privately, although if it was public the resultant bunfight would be awesome) making a mark against someone's username that would show up in subsequent posts, so that once I've seen someone say something outrageous I could put them on my own personal shitlist and remember to take their comments with a pinch of salt.

Don’t you think you would be indulging in the same sort of behaviour you disapprove of in others? Hmmm?

Yes this happened on my first ever post late last year.A lady was having to decide about her cat being unwell and she would have to decide if it was kinder to have her put to sleep. I said that my cat had had cancer and the vets were trying to keep her going ( she was 15 )and I eventually had to do the best thing and say enough was enough ,I stated that I had 3 more cats and if the same happened to them I would defiantly not prolong their life's . Well this poster came on and said that she was pleased that her cats didn't live with me and that hers were old age and well looked after. I was like WHAT ,until a lovely poster wrote that she knew what I was saying and didn't know why the other poster had jumped on me .

@SnuggyBuggy

I actually quite admire OPs that come back and kick off sometimes. There is this feeling that it's OK to pile on the OP but it's outrageous for the OP to give as good as they get. You do get the same thing in real life in that it's often the shittiest people who expect the best treatment.

I had one about taking a potty to the park for my two year old. Loads of people piled on, but some people defended me so I decided to stay the course and stand up for my decision!

Was a really nice thread in the end. About 800 posts

This is why I name change about once a month.

Gonna name change now

oh yeah - one of my first ones, under a different name now of course, was in relation to smoking. You can imagine the responses I got on there!

I had this when I posted about my 18 year old stepdaughter who’d just moved in with us
She point blank refused to get a job-we where meant to support her through uni/life in general/buy her whatever she wanted until she found a rich man to marry and then we where meant to bow out and leave her to live the lifestyle she wanted
I’ve never met anyone as wasteful as her%she’d tell her dad to buy expensive food that non of us ate-she’d take one out of the packet and bin the rest as it was ‘dirty’
Our bills shot through the roof due to her never turning anything off
I posted as I have kids that where too young to get jobs and I couldn’t afford her on top
She caused so much trouble at home between myself and my partner-if I was gone,she thought she could get her dad to do as she wanted-she lied,stole and much more

Well!
I got my backside handed to me!
I was evil
I shouldn’t be in her life
I should just pay out for her
I should allow her to destroy my home and my life
I should just suck it up
She might have sen (she really doesn’t!)
I should work more hours-so she could lounge around the house doing nothing
I should just leave my home as I shouldn’t be allowed round other human beings
She couldn’t have been stealing from me-it was definitely one of my own kids
My kids should get a job each (they do now) to show her how it’s done (even tho they where way too young at the time)
I had a husband problem-not a spoilt brat problem who ‘is misunderstood’ and I should ‘step up and support her’ (I couldn’t have done much more for her)
My partner was backing me up all the way at the time and she didn’t like it

I left-there are some nasty people out there