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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sending child to school even though she's a Foster carer

117 replies

Darkbloom · 08/01/2021 10:44

Ok am I being unreasonable?

I know someone who is a Foster carer (stays at home all day, everyday, know this as I am close with her). Should she really be sending her Foster child to school when she could easily home school the child herself?

OP posts:
ChronicallyCurious · 08/01/2021 11:22

Wow YABU

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2021 11:24

Wow. This is really judgey and Ill informed. 😱

SanFranBear · 08/01/2021 11:24

There is a reason Looked After Children are at the top of the admissions process.. they are very vulnerable.

Sirzy · 08/01/2021 11:24

The decision won’t have ultimately been that of the foster carers anyway, any descion like that would ultimately be made by the child’s social worker who will know what is in their best interests

jamesfailedmarshmallows · 08/01/2021 11:25

YABVU and so are the other million posters who keep posting threads about people sending their dc to school, when the reality is that it's very likely that you aren't privvy to the full circumstances.

Bunnybigears · 08/01/2021 11:26

It is well known that vulnerable children are supposed to go into school. Can you think of any reason a foster child would not be vulnerable?!

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 08/01/2021 11:26

OP has accepted she was being unreasonable. Read the thread, it’s not very long !

knittingaddict · 08/01/2021 11:27

Is this what it's come to? You are very, very unreasonable op and I'm surprised anyone has the gall to ask this.

knittingaddict · 08/01/2021 11:28

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

OP has accepted she was being unreasonable. Read the thread, it’s not very long !
Good.
Propsneeded · 08/01/2021 11:39

WOW @Darkbloom

What a piece you are! Don't you realise that foster children are on the vulnerable list and so are allowed to be in school.

Wow just wow - go check your head out and say sorry a few million times! Moaning about vulnerable children going to school - I'VE HEARD IT ALL NOW

BeeDavis · 08/01/2021 11:39

None of your business. Simple as.

Watchingbehindmyhands · 08/01/2021 11:39

A child in care is classed as vulnerable. By all standards you could care to throw at it.

parkpoolplunge · 08/01/2021 11:41

YABU. The child will be classed as vulnerable and so be entitled to a school place, socialisation is important for all children but particularly those who have been removed from their birth family and need a consistent arrangement with social contacts.

Propsneeded · 08/01/2021 11:42

PS thank you all the foster carers out there - looking after vulnerable children many also have additional needs/SEN

They don't need people like the op to judge them or the children.

Mumofsend · 08/01/2021 11:42

A child in care absolutely should have full access to school for a whole host of reasons.

Displayname · 08/01/2021 11:46

Plenty of schools round here have emailed parents asking them only to send in IF the parents are critical workers and have no other choice. One, 3 times. Another from a different county made a 10 min video pleading parents not to send their children in unless they absolutely had to.

One local school who caters for a mix of mainstream and SEN children and had double the children in this lockdown and are in a more deprived area has sent absolutely nothing.

Compassion from a head in a school where children may lack a favourable home life, may not get fed or who are struggling and need school.

I feel for children of some parents / carers who read these types of threads and feel pressured by society to keep their kids home when the absolute best place for them is school.

TheKeatingFive · 08/01/2021 11:46

My god but these threads are the fucking pits.

This one wins though 🤯

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 08/01/2021 11:46

Do you have any understanding of some of the reasons why a child might be in care?

YABVVVVU and you are no friend to this woman.

AbsolutelySpiffing · 08/01/2021 11:47

Can we fucking stop now with these stupid judgemental threads where the OP pretends they know their neighbours, dogs, cousins, best mates, child's complete situation inside and out.

YABU. Focus on yourself FFS.

Propsneeded · 08/01/2021 11:48

@TheKeatingFive

My god but these threads are the fucking pits.

This one wins though 🤯

That's what I thought. What makes someone bitch about a foster carer who is looking after a vulnerable child! The OP says she is close with her....yet comes on here and bitches about her. What makes people do that? Is it jealously? This one wins the X child is in school post though. Awful. This really annoyed me more that any of the others.
Seraphinesupport · 08/01/2021 11:48

Some Foster carers HAVE to send the children to school if school allows.

unmarkedbythat · 08/01/2021 11:50

You're not a nice person, op.

Quartz2208 · 08/01/2021 11:51

Its not about the foster carer at all and her being at home (which of course is where she would be as a foster carer) but the needs of the child - for whom the vulnerable umbrella entirely covers and have been prioritised.

School for them is incredibly important - routine and structure and guidance. The decision would have been carefully made with her social worker (which of course as a child in need she would have) your friend and the school

sonypony · 08/01/2021 11:52

Probably wasn't even her choice and social worker told her to keep sending foster child in.

leopardspotsdotdotdot · 08/01/2021 11:55

@Darkbloom

Ok am I being unreasonable?

I know someone who is a Foster carer (stays at home all day, everyday, know this as I am close with her). Should she really be sending her Foster child to school when she could easily home school the child herself?

It’s about routine and education for a child already with a tough start. It’s not about the ‘foster Carer’.
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