Single people how are you coping?

[pawsies]

What are you doing at home?
Do you have a support system?

Feel free to rant on here if it helps 😊

I don't cope well being alone and being stuck in the house drives me crazy. I'm sure I'm not alone on that.

I am enjoying the fact that there is no commitments/activities/pressure to meet up.

I have nice meals planned for the weekend, a list of box sets to get through over the next few weeks and thermals arriving today from Amazon so I can still get out for a walk

I loved the solitude of the last lockdown (except weirdly working from home - I hated the solitude of that). Loved finding new walks and yes this time it will be different as we are in winter but still not climbing the walls

I'm alone, left an abusive marriage overnight then a few months later first lockdown hit. I'm in a new area, new job etc. My family live in Oz. My worst day was my birthday a week or two into lockdown, noone remembered and I didn't speak to a sole. However I've got used to it now. I'm working from home too but do 12 hour a day so just work then sleep, repeat. Have moments but soon get over myself. I just miss physical contact, I haven't been hugged for over a year.

Haven't been sleeping well and I'm just knackered. Also possibly going to die from boredom on the meeting I'm just in...

I struggled to sleep too, so make myself walk every night after work for an hour to physically use up some energy now that I'm home working.

Why is this in AIBU? What is your question about reasonableness?

It is shit I hate it
No one left to support bubble with after my person got a new partner so now just me
Luckily I still get to go to work and have done since March but soon as I get home I just lie on the floor pretty much
I am autistic and have lost pretty much every social skill it took me 30years to get, I am usually at gym classes in the evenings and weekends under normal circumstances and that really helps me.
I day off today and we still allowed our bereavement support group so heading out soon to that but it is cold so I have to wear lots of layers when I normally in short all year cos of gym, I hate it

Rule breaking!
I could WFH, but I walk to the office.
I'm the only person in the office, the couple of miles journey gives me exercise, the walk is on quiet backstreets, I rarely encounter anyone, let alone go within 2 meters of them.
The break between home and not being in the same space 24-7 gives more balance and protects my mental health.
I don't consider that I am putting myself or anyone else at greater risk by doing this.

I did WFH for a few months initially, and enjoyed it at first, but was starting to go a bit stir crazy. I have been depressed in the past, and protecting my mental health is as important as physical health.

I’d gladly die in the night.

I don’t have a support bubble - unsurprisingly most friends have added their elderly parents or their other halves - and I don’t have local friends.

I WFH. It’s solitary confinement.

The Government seems to think that we all live in small communities with strong local networks. For some of us that just isn’t true.

It's pretty dull and relentless. Spending quite a bit of time on the phone and watching a lot of films. Need to exercise more. Have phases where I feel really down about being single.

Thank you for thread op, it feels like it just me most of the time, sorry everyone else like this, but at least I not alone

Im a 76 year old single (divorced) pensioner running an online business. The pandemic has not meant a great upheaval to my life. I bubble with my 2 nephews (who live together) and they visit me once weekly with essential supplies and to do household jobs I cant manage. There is always Amazon next day delivery.

Otherwise I just cope alone or the jobs just get put on hold. Im not going to call nephew to come change a light bulb just because I cant safely climb. I just plug in a table lamp til next scheduled visit.

Tesco deliver my food weekly (priority slots) as they have done for the last 18 years and Royal Mail pick up my parcels to go out to customers. I bank and print my postage and do all my communication online. In the very rare instance I have to go out its a taxi door to door (nephew does not drive)

Being single has always suited me because I have never been a 9-5 sleep/eat at set hours person. Now I sleep when I get tired (rarely more than 4 hours at a stretch) and eat when hungry. I dont feel lonely. There is always a list of things to do and I am resigned to the fact that I will never get through it.

I do have people I call on a regular basis, but have recently been through my contacts list and made a list of people to call that i've fallen a bit out of touch with.
Sometimes it's really hard work to pick up the phone, but generally really positive once I do it.
Many of them are single or living alone as well, so hopefully breaks the isolation for them too.

women and sneaky, you both sound at ease with solitude. Could I ask, have you always been happy in your own company or is it something you have learned?

I would like to be reconciled to my own company, then I would maybe be able to achieve something with all this time rather than just raging against it.

It's shit, but I have a close single support bubble friend, various other friends I meet for walks and I am still going into the office once a week for a change of scene (allowed by my organisation under MH grounds). Also trying to get some stuff done in my flat and spend more time on language learning.

I’m not coping very well
I am starved of human interaction and am reading into it (or the lack of it). I can’t be bothered doing anything ‘for me’ any more really. In the summer I would go for lovely walks and watch the world go by out in the sun. Now it’s bloody freezing, I am supposed to be on a diet and I feel abandoned and forgotten if not actively disliked. I feel shit at my job because I struggle to do it online, and I feel pretty worthless.

Sorry, you said I could rant, so I have

Things that help sometimes: happy music, phone calls with happy people, walking when the sun is out, buying pot plants.

@Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails

women and sneaky, you both sound at ease with solitude. Could I ask, have you always been happy in your own company or is it something you have learned?

I would like to be reconciled to my own company, then I would maybe be able to achieve something with all this time rather than just raging against it.

Yeah it’s always been something I have been comfortable with. Don’t get me wrong I love meeting up with friends (in normal times) but I am just as comfortable on my own.

It has been very noticeable during the pandemic that it is generally thought that single people are all sitting crying themselves to sleep every night. I am sure that is the case for some, including good friends of mine, and that is absolutely awful and I feel so sad about that but it is not my situation. It’s good to remember that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely

I'm single though do have a teenager. I'm fine - January is usually a bit bleak anyway, so feels pretty normal. Work is busy which occupies a lot of time. I don't want a support bubble, so have declined offers. I love my own company, so am never lonely.

@SoupDragon

Why is this in AIBU? What is your question about reasonableness?

Quite! I know it's pedantic but I'm getting really fed up of so many posts in AIBU that are not asking MNers whether they think an OP is being unreasonable or not. Just post random stuff in Chat FFS! Otherwise what's the point of MN having sections!? 🙄

I wish you could bottle the secret, women :)

@pawsies
What are you doing at home?
I'm inbetween jobs and working on my next career. Plus working on home improvement projects.

Do you have a support system?
Yes. But I don't get lonely so haven't really found the covid situation difficult apart from the frustrations of things I want to do being cancelled.

I'm alone apart from my dog. I hate it. It's freezing & I'm scared to have the heating on too much as I'm furloughed on 80% pay. I just can't get motivated to do anything at all. I have no support bubble either

Not coping at all. Professionals meeting held about me today. No support bubble. Just myself. Though I live in London, I couldn't be further away from anything. Heavily relying on police who have been lovely to me. Been brought to A&E almost every night for feeling suicidal.

I feel the same as you, feeling. I can’t persuade myself there is any point to this isolated life. What’s the point of cooking something nice when it’s only me that will eat it?

for those struggling.

I do ok - in normal life I am pretty busy, out a lot seeing friends and doing activities, but I have a lot of indoor hobbies too, so can keep myself amused and am content with my own company. I would like something different to happen though. After several months of this routine I crave something new.

I have a support bubble but it's 200 miles away away, so I won't see them for several months now until things calm down. I can usually manage to meet up with a friend or other once or twice a week in a local park I cycle to, but now it's much colder it isn't much fun and I don't get out of the flat much. I'm lucky I can do my job easily from home and it's very busy and challenging, which makes the days go by quickly.